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I went to Great Adventure w/ my dad, his GF, her 2 kids and my half sister...I had a lot of fun. But I was terribly lonely....I was never actually alone except when I was in the stall at the Ladies' Room, but everywhere I looked, it seemed everybody had somebody.

Now, I'm not one to look at other people and want what they have. But for the last six years, Joe and I have been virtually inseparable. It would've been unheard of for one of us to go to an amusement park w/o the other.

I'm not sure if it was that I was alone period or if it was because he wasn't there with me, holding my hand. I think it was a little of both. But I do miss him.

I left him and moved back to NJ! I had originally lived here and moved there to be with him in MN. That was probably 1 of 2 of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make in my life, leaving him (and every other friend I made along the way). As much as I was being tortured by dishonesty and mistrust, he has been all I've known for the last 6 yrs of my life.

I loved him and I still do. Always will really..I just know that the connection we originally had is no longer there. That was broken a long time ago w/ lies and deceit. A broken heart that never really had time to fully heal, until it was broken again. And forget it. It never healed after that.

I wish that things could be different....but they aren't. We come from two very different worlds that see things very differently. I come from a melting pot, where people accept differences, because there is just no other way to live. I've lived close to the city. He's lived a pretty sheltered suburban life. He kind of doesn't have the tolerance I do, or more so the sympathy or patience. He also believes you can treat people however you want, make a joke about it and they should just forgive you. They should understand thats the way you are and be ok with it or they can leave.

I don't know....Maybe its not all his fault. He's not been shown different and has pretty much been spoiled since he was little. I guess I didn't help that by paying his heath insurance for 4 yrs and his car insurance for 3. But its like they say.You give them an inch, they take a yard...I think that was the saying... I could be wrong..

Anyhow, I miss him plain and simple, but I knew that unless he were on his own for a while living in the real world, where no one paid his bills for him and he truly understood how much he'd hurt me and how I really couldn't take it anymore...he'd never learn...And we would keep hurting each other.

I guess we'll find out if he ever will.