POem
Current mood: blah
Category: Writing and Poetry
My heart skips a beat as i sleep and see only images of you run through my head. Its over and broken no longer true but for some reason my subconcious refuses to understand this, or better yet my heart refuses to understand and to accept this.
Deep inside i concider this a dream and believe that one day i shall awaken from this dreaded nightmare. But it is imposible for the more i dream the more i trap myself.
My love is not shattered but instead grows stronger for i know you are with me even if i know you are far away. I will keep dreaming, keep fighting for what i believe is to be right even if it might cost my life.
I am determined, But yet at the same time stubborn my heart can not accept what i have for so long begged for.
In my heart that is what belongs a broken mirror that is long ago lost. It is a simple dream that is a fantacy and shall forever only be that, a dream, an illusion, a halusination and decievement amongst my own heart.
Regardless the situation my memories shall never fade for the flame that has been ignited shall forever remian, engraved in stone upon my heart forever more.
As I lay here upon my bed the chains that bind me grow tighter and tighter with each passing day and night. As I struggle to set myself free I begin to think that my efforts are all but in vain. And yet I wonder as I call out the name of the angel the name of my angel the name of my hope to why it does not respond to my own hurt and call. And that is when I realize that the angel can not hear my words that it can not understand my speech nor can it understand the pain of which I feel deep within my very existence. And yet the people who have me upon the chains who tightened them with in each passing night ask me what is wrong. And as I answer them in silence the chains that bind me now have gotten so tight that they penetrate my vulnerable skin. They pierce it cutting through it rougher and more painful then before. I hold my pain back I do not show it for I am afraid of what they would do once they see that I have been wounded. As my crimson blood falls to the ground staining the leaves and penetrating deep within the earth I begin to wonder whether I would ever be set free whether any one would answer my call and tell me that they are here to save me to reach forward toward me and brake the chains that have for so long only tortured me and have held me here within the world of despair and darkness. I then smile at the thought telling myself that there is no one anywhere that would bother to save me that forever I would be held deep within this sea to forever drown in my own hurt and hatred of what I have become. Or so I am being led to believe. But for now if there is light that could penetrate this dark and bottomless darkness in which I am being bond in it would but only then be considered a miracle within my eyes. But I stay lay here awaiting that faithful day in which the chains will stop tightening in which the blood will stop falling and in the say in which the light the words the one that I have for so long awaited will come and say the worlds that I have forever longed for to be said to me.
i am .....
Category: Writing and Poetry
I am the light that reaches through your darkness,
I am the one who carries your burdens upon my shoulders,
I am the hand who is offering my sould,my light, and my time for you.
I am a faker who hides who she really is
I am an artist who thinks of you no less of a person
I am your lover who lets you cry upon her shoulder
I am the one whom understand the pain and sorrow which you feel.
I am Broken deep inside
My heart has shattered and now is broken and has been turned into dark ashes which once where light,
My heart has blackened and is now tainted covering what once was my soul.
My soul cries for someone to hear it but it goes unheard.
It is binded from all the hatred.
Must it die in order to survive?
Or must it burn in this damnation.
It is not a curse nor a gift it is but an ability with many
Privileges.
Its wings spread out in hope but are quickly clippd and
taken back to a dark whole.
It lies in oblivion and never responds to the truth.
It is hidden yet aware of what it truly must do.
Once again i am trapped to this throne full of vines and thorns. What must i do to clipp them away must i a fallen angel tear my wings and flesh to once again be set free out onto the world? Or must i cry my dull tears that shall never be heard and fill my heart with misery once more? Must i turn myself cold Must i bleed once again for these Usless and chaotic thoughts to go away? Must i tear away my heart from my chest burn it and set its ashes amongst the wind in order to finally be free? Am i just not ment to be? Am i not suppose to be happy? Or must i stay alone and forever cold amongst this cold and heartless world? Must i be amongst these pretenders those who do not share who they are but what i speak is of myself as well for i decieve them as they have done. What must i do so i may not change and stay sane to myself and to the world?
what is she to you but only a toy something that u can play around with until it is of no use to you anymore. What is she but something invisible that when u finally notice her it iis to later. To understand her is harder that u expected and to know her is but a regret. You think in your mind as days pass and years and seasons change that no one will ever find this"doll" which you have thrown away. She is broken no longer able to move laying on the ground cold and unwated dirty from the years of change and abuse that those on the streets have done to her. She is nothing no more at least in your eyes and those of a child. Somehow someone appears and sees this broken doll on the floor. he gently with his hand caresses her face wiping away some of the dirt. the warmth of his heart and touch she feels through every way a doll can feel it though they say that dolls have no feelings and are inanimated objects they are wrong. This doll is special fr she is human but only broken in thought. He looks into her eyes and for once he seems to understand teh pain within her. He findes her for years and months he holds her treasuring her for what she truly is until once gain she is thrown away like an empty bottle like a corpse that no longer feels for to him she is but a corpse with nothing to offer but pain and fear.
love poem
Category: Writing and Poetry
a love so sweet so kind so full of laughter and warmth so tender that when you touch it lingers and imprents deep in your soul.
Careful yet so steadfast heart fluttering by each thought a love so beautiful that is forbidden against others eyes.
Pushing aside the rejection of others and caring for no one but them.
Your heart pounds at his voice and each and every action which he and you do.
So strange these thoughts are in each and everyones mind for this feeling is something they do not understand and if they do they deny.
This love which is indiscribable and so passionate in heart belonging together forever in each and every way and thought, This is a love that is lasting this is what you can feel deep within your soul this is a love that is indiscribable and can not be explained in words.
this love which is so pure that opens the eyes of those who are blind that gives hope to those who never thought would be possible or easy to behold gives them a light to follow gives them a lingering thought that perhaps, despite what they have gone through, brings back their hope that perhaps what they see now someone who is so happy and full of love, that maybe there trully can be such a thing as pure love.
But to those who are exactly this feeling or love know that dispite their diffrences they carefully and at times painfully learned whtat love is and or was.
They know of the hardships they went through and how exactly they got through for they know that the love they felt now was not always as easy as it is now but because of their determination their own dreams and hope together they rose from their problem and came to know what they feel now is strong though not perfect it has become true and pure love.
so hard to breath and to think the pain lies amongst my heart beating to a beat that is not my own.
My words are said but are only heard with coldness and hatred behind them.
It Hurts....
The lonliness i felt once before is still there haunting me like a night creature hunts its prey.
Steathedly coldly it kills its prey without remorse as does the lonliness i feel within me.
It is no diffrent, It's there killing me slowly reminding me that my past was all to real to be forgotten.
My tears can not fall they seem to be locked away and hidden from the world.
Images plague me each and every moment of the day of thoughts and visions that are not my own and yet they can not be heard for it is an imposter that has taken over me.
It is not me and yet they can not see it for they are so easily decieved.
How would they know of my sufferment when they can not, could not understand me when i was alive and well.
What makes them believe that they can save me from myself?
I believe they can not save me, but oh how i pray that i am wrong.
My pain is overflowing so hurtful i can feel it within my soul and yet still they try to take what i love the most, what i wish to have, what is the being of my happiness away?
i can't say anything, i am stunned and no longer able to move. I have now become their puppet to those around me, who can pull my strings and make me do whatever they wish.
Though it hurts i watch as i bleed yet say nothing for i am lost now.
I am a rose, yes a rose that is what i am. A rose that has lost its beauty and that is slowly dieing, withering away inside. I am not free. no i will never be for i am cadged and imprisoned here in this place for the rest of my life.
And i.. well there is not much i can say.. for i am their puppet
As tears fall and the sorrow grows within the heart of the condemend.
No escape is found except the darkness which seems to envelope her night and day.
Torn to pieces her heart lies shattered amongst the ground and now she is left alone to die on her own in this hell she called home.
What more could anyone want, when they seemed to care no more. Her blood drips to the ground as nothing more comes to mind.
Suicidal thoughts roam around her as she lies alone in bed. But she wonders what else can she do when nothing is left for her to feel.
As night falls and light shines around her blood seems to fall in the puddle, for she created a world of her own, one that no one seems to know.
And that world that she has created is called
The Shadow World.
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