The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

If I am a human, why I am not feeling that?....Almost everyone thinks, that physical body in interconnection with astral resemblance of ethereal body, forms a human, but there is also something like third element, genuine complement of unity...It`s feel of yourself with two aspects, because there is significant difference In the feel of yourself inside and outside....I feel my body as a tool for implementation of volition, yet my notional feel of myself isn`t that simple and two dimensional, rather uncertainly intricate and multi-dimensional....I would want to seek own truthfulness somewhere within me, however there reigns thirsty pandemonium in fetus of mind breathing without lungs...Inside me still exists silence embraced by noise of inhumanity, my physical body is sustained by existence, but my spirituality exists somewhere outside that body. As though spiritual consciousness could be spontaneous and independent from corporeality...Isn`t it truth basically?...So what means being a human...merely thinking, reflective sensuous body filled by emotions and invention, or is it definition of something more?...It must mean something more, if I have believe that notion, and to appreciate it as truthful and absolute fact...my mind cannot be earthly, if I`m a mad, because spiritually I`m more an entity than human, disturbed in natural sense.

If you at all don`t understand about what I am talking, test was passed successfully...you are a human

more about me..I`m only receptive and emotive person, with omnipresent intuition, but all along somewhere on the beginning of that weird and misunderstood way....sometimes more closely to certain silent depth around my internal abyss, than is bearable for me....then comes nameless and faltering chaos, which is really hard to comprehend..but simultaneously even oddly absorbent moment and this is that fascinating thing especially for my own perception....so what can be physical life without own living spiritual element....probably it can negate essence and shade something genuine and human.. blank physical body without truthful kernel of human...nothing for me, I have a need to discover primal depths everywhere around and yet more those simple and at the same time untold sentiments, moreover I scorn emptiness in every resemblance.....and all that what forms me is just instigated with emotions, isn`t possible to describe it convincingly....that`s my relative pain and life need...

...all that shadow space of senses and pieces of internal knowledge, around everything and everyone, would be worthless, if wouldn`t be possible to carry out its tendency...it`s aspect of motivation sensation for "materialisation" of my potential and self fulfillment....and then I must say...how strange, that many people doesn`t want to exploit own empirical and internal experience to achieve any aims, or penetrate into depth of senses...as if they doesn`t want to know omnipresent space and to comprehend our multidimension reality everywhere around...well, I may not know, whether it`s truly possible, but I have an intuitive feel, that power of possibilities is contained in silent thread of composition of volition, perception, need and aptitude to utilize and connect that all...plus main impulse, variety of feelings, pains and fears, which inflames motivation.... thereby I want to spread my wings and then at last to breathe own silent freedom..every tread to sense is as my burial, venomous feel, which shattered my porcelain soul..I don`t want to be a slave.





Atra