The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I started out to be so sound of mind and body.



Then someone came and asked for me to do something for them, so I did.



Look over there, someone in need, so I offer.



Please will you listen to my story, she asks, and I do.



Can you carry this weight for me and never tell a soul, and I do.



Will you take me to this place and help me find peace of mind by telling you, he says, and I do.



Will you fix this? Do that? Go there? Take this? Mend that? Listen to me? Help me?



And I do.



I used to be so sound of mind and body, before.

I'll tell you a tale of Vampirates,

A tale as old as true.

Yea, I'll sing you a song of an ancient ship,

And its mighty fearsome crew.

Yea, I'll sing you a song of an ancient ship,

That sails the ocean blue...

That haunts the oceans blue.



The Vampirate ship has tattered sails,

That flap like wings in flight.

They say that the captain, he wears a veil

So as to curtail your fright

At his death-pale skin

And his lifeless eyes

And his teeth as sharp as night.

Oh they say that the captain, he wears a veil

And his eyes never see the light.



You'd better be good, child--good as gold,

As good as good can be.

Else I'll turn you in to the Vampirates

And wave you out to sea.

Yes you'd better be good, child--good as gold,

Because--look! Can you see?

There's a dark ship in the harbor tonight

And there's room in the hold for thee!

(Plenty of room for thee!)



Well, if pirates are bad,

And vampires worse,

Then I pray that as long as I be

That though I sing of Vampirates

I never one shall see.

Yea, if pirates are danger

And vampires are death

I'll extend my prayer for thee--

That thine eyes never see a Vampirate...



...and they never lay a hand on thee.