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"I will come pick you up, you stay right there, we will talk" she said right before she hanged up the phone.

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As she said, she did.

She came and picked me up, while we were riding in the car I can tell she just wanted me to spill and say everything, but she knows better than anyone that I never would.



While driving not knowing were we were going, looking out the window wandering who he was. All the sounded coming out of deep thought there he was agian, just then relizing she took my into town, I said stop the car, and which she gave me a confused look, but did as I said.

Just as I got out of the car, I was looking around like I was doumbfounded.



Getting back into the car, thinking I was about to get twenty or more questions thrown at me, the first one was what happened was not what I expected. "Who was he?" she said with worry in her voice. I looked up at with tears in my eyes wondering why the hell I was crying, I just said

"I do not know", then snapping out of all the emotional shit, I picked my head back up, with more of and angry look on my face saying " do not care" Thorn knowing instantly I have had bad experiances with men before, she just said "Is that what was wrong with you?" I just shook my head and she giggled.

"Hun, you have to live agian", and just by saying that, my head snapped up, she knowing that I hated men, even though knowing all are not like that, she just shut-up.



Driving about 20 more minute's down the road she gave me a look...that said I better spill before she say's somthing....I told her about the night I found him.



Thinking back over the years, me her both knew that us being so young and still being school, it was sad I have been through so much with men. I seemed not to mined as much as most people would think, I have not been affected by men for so long, knowing I was wrong, bt wishing I could live my life like that, not caring.

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Sorry I have to stop there agian, but Iam going to write soon agian.



Ditz

I was looking outside my window that night...the night I found him, I was not even looking for him though.

I thought to my-self were did he come from? I have seen no one like him before.

He had to be at least nine-ten years older than me, but what coud I do? It was the instant I saw him I knew we could not be, but could not say never. Even though I knew that we could not.



I taking a shower in that moring, thinking about him, wondering who he was and how he got here? I got out the phone rang, which to my despair my dear childhood friend Thorn called me "Ditz, you there?"

"Yes I am" I said just then relizing with out my words, I let her know there was somthing wrong.

"Damn it" I said to myself, instantly knowing she said, "Ditz, what is it, are you ok?"

"No, no not all"

"I will come pick you up, you stay right there, we will talk" she said right before she hanged up the phone.



....I must write more later I am leaving right now....



Ditz.

Went to a water park yesterday, wich I do not wish to tlak about, came back home slept for about 11 hours, woke uo looked at nikkis cieling, making pictures into that I cna not get out of my head. listening to music right now wondering has inspried them hate that much. I have had things stand in my way before but it has not put me in a predictmint to hate so much. Wishing she would chnge the song......