The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

this is beautiful!!



o.O

Since I am always a fan of brevity, this poem very much appeals to my senses.



It's a tense moment that's been written here as the full reaction of the reader has not yet formed in the physical, which is denoted by the words:



waiting for you



But, the way it was written has a curious objective quality to it; very cool and observational. Though, whether the whole poem, itself, betrays to us that the writer, already, may have an expectation or has noticed something, is difficult to discern. The way the lines are broken up invokes the image of the soft curiosity of the the writer.



The line(s):



on the corner of your eye

hangs my poem



...may give us some clue, as it may denote that the interim between the poem's reading and the full reaction is like a tear. A tear of joy? A tear of sadness? A tear of frustration?



Will there be more?



This ambiguity that we are left with, as the audience, cultivates a curiosity; wondering what prompted this piece. Our questions/reactions are potentially numerous.



What is the poem like?

Was it written for the reader?

Was it deeply intimate?

Was it bad?



And with this line of questioning, the audience can, almost, empathize with the writer's position; that of uncertainty... wanting a positive reaction but aware of a possible negative reception(?).



So, here we come to the title of the piece. The writer stands at the shore of a large body of something... [water (synonymous with emotion) perhaps(?)]. And with the tenseness of the moment... the uncertainty of the writer... we find ourselves, transposed as the writer, attempting to deduce the possible affect the weather (synonymous with the poem) has.



Thank you, my drear Dragonrouge, for sharing this lovely piece.

Thank you, MO!

I am glad you like it!

:)



Philo:

Your comment is great, as always!

Almost a poem itself!

philosopher put it well..



this is such a beautiful poem.



...the reader wonders what happened these few moments before you penned it...and there is both joy and sadness in that tear....it is falling in slow motion and you hold your breath...

Lovely and yet sad.

that tear meant a lot.



butterflies are awesome and never forgotten



thank you!

Some great things are so fragile...

I should thank you, MO for being my muse!



Pandora`s Box:

Isn`t it?

*sigh*

Alright... *cracks knuckles and fingers and clears throat*



With this poem, I have less insight, since it is obviously something written between you and MO. However, I think I have a few words.



The Pessimistic View



Like others have said, this can appear a sad poem, for clear reason. Something we think of as beautiful looks to have been destroyed and there is an apparent emotion in the lady, in the last line: "... a tear".



It is reasonable to assume that the lady has shed a tear over the destruction of the beautiful thing. So, the tear looked at in this way, is not one of joy. Whether the butterfly is really a butterfly or a metaphor for something else is undeterminable.



Certainly, from the butterfly, we can determine that the thing being destroyed was delicate and fleeting in and of itself. It would have had to die at some point, but that this particular thing has met an early end.



Between line one and line two, I am unclear as to how to read it. Did the butterfly smash into a paper panel beam? Did a beam smash the butterfly that rest on the paper panel? Did a paper panel beam smash the butterfly?



The Optimistic View



But there is another way to read this poem. It lies in the word 'beam'. This word has more than one meaning. In the more optimistic view we may consider this 'beam' to be a 'beam of light'. If read this way, than the lady's tear may be one of deep joy as the butterfly is suddenly exposed by the beam of light, framed by a delicate background, to show all it's colors and curves. Certainly an unexpected visual treat for the lady.



Where I find myself reaching is with the uncertainty with which we have in reading this poem. Our uncertainty may also reflect an uncertainty the lady may have as expressed by the writer. This is because the butterfly is still representative of a beautiful thing; delicate, fleeting and finite. And this uncertainty is not cleared by the poem's title.



This poem is a pleasure to consider. It leaves much to the imagination. MO is quite a muse to be certain.

Thank you, Philo!

A good critique allows me to found a better shape to my inspiration. It is one of the important things that allow me to make my dreams... shareable.

It wonderful to understand how my readers understand me.

These poems move me in different ways to most I have seen

They remind me of the Japanese style of short poems Haiku which are often used between lovers or as a test of mental skill between friends

Thank you, Nightwulf!

They were intended to be two haikai.

*bows in an oriental style*