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11 entries this month
Jared's Back!
16:28 Mar 24 2009
Times Read: 940
I planted some flowers in our apartment on the bar a couple of days ago. I'm waiting to see if anything comes up. It's been forever since I've planted anything, anywhere.
We brought in our cat and her kittens even though we haven't been approved yet because a male cat was beating the crap out of the mama kitty and trying to kill the kittens. She's been using the litter box and things too so she's going to make it as an inside kitty! Yay!
I've been talking to Courtney through myspace comments and messages. I really need to call her sometime today. I miss her.
Jared finally called me yesterday. I talked to him for over an hour on the phone catching up with him and shit. He called us last night and Brett ended up going to get him and Kevin. *smiles* Hanging out with Jared and Kevin is freakin' awesome to pick up again! I love it. Brett had lots of fun having drunk conversations with them last night. I'm hoping we do it all again soon.
Jared's probably staying here for a few days at least because he's been hopping from place to place with everyone kicking him out since he's gotten back from Maryland. We're going to try to light a fire under his ass to get an apartment up here where we are and to go ahead and get a job at one of Brett's old places of employment.
:-)
I think things are looking up.
And I don't mind being a pillow sometimes! I miss it.
14:57 Mar 20 2009
Times Read: 951
Aurora finally isn't sick anymore. She's back to her normal self as normal as she gets. I know she has some more teeth coming in.
Brett's still looking for another job. He's actually showing some motivation about it now. I think he's finally tired of being home with me. LOL! He's still having a lot of anger issues. I don't know how to help him. I know he really needs to get in to talk to a therapist or someone. He's getting to the point that he's probably lash out sooner or later. He needs help.
I've been doing okay. We got my anxiety medicine filled which is helping.
I've actually found the motivation to do embroidery and I've finished three projects in about two days. My finger is paying the price though! Haha.
I had a some what bad episode yesterday. I ended up in the shower sobbing and scrubbing my skin raw trying to get clean. Brett came home just as I finally got out. I ended up taking three 50 mg pills in the span of two and a half hours.
I should be getting a kitty soon and her four kittens. *smiles* We found the loophole that can get me a kitty. I had to have my therapist write a letter to the apartment complex saying I expressed interest in having a cat in the apartment. She put that they have therapeutic effects on people. Nancy knows I always talk to kitties. Hell down at the duplex I would befriend stray kitties just so I could talk to them when I couldn't go over and get Nala. She knows how much it helps me to talk to a kitty. *nods* It's always helped me and I've almost always had a kitty around me.
My mother still hasn't been set up for her surgery. So much for it being done within two weeks! She's not wearing her neck brace like she's supposed to. The surgeon only comes up here once a month and she has to find out if her insurance will let her get the surgery done in a different state.
We will see what happens there. We're supposed to go have dinner at my mom's house today. I really don't care to because I'm really nervous today but they want to see Aurora. I'm going to get off of here for now before Aurora wakws up from her short morning nap.
18:33 Mar 17 2009
Times Read: 963
We just passed our inspection! *takes a deep breath in* It seems kind of silly how worried I was about everything going wrong with it. Even before they showed up, I was running around cleaning up every crumb and every speck of dirt.
Uncle Bill got it in my head that they were going to nit-pick about everything and anything. I was crying a lot of last night because I was so worried. He likes messing with me. Why does he have to do it? Why do I care what he thinks even?
I hate how he makes everything seems so much more then what it is especially knowing I've been having problems with anxiety for over a year now.
I'm going to try to relax now. I've taken four pills today before they came and I'm still in a cold sweat and shaking.
21:23 Mar 12 2009
Times Read: 980
This is going to be fun! There is a mandatory apartment inspection on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I wasn't kidding about having half an apartment to still unpack. I need to figure out how to get everything done around Aurora's schedule! She's still sick but she can keep down some cereal and crackers today. At least it's a start and not liquid.
The good news is if I don't think I can get everything done by Monday, my Grandmama has offered to come up and watch Aurora while I get things done.
I'm getting off of here and starting this nightmare weekend.
:-)
Cleaning
18:02 Mar 11 2009
Times Read: 995
I feel horrible. I feel like I'm starting to get sick and on top of that, Aurora can't keep anything down and is only drinking the Pedialyte stuff. She's really mad at me for it. At least she likes the apple favored one!
Brett went to my Aunt's house. This is about the three time he's gone to fix their computers. For payment, we got a monitor for me since mine has a short in it and I'm on an old as hell Packard Bell monitor and also got some speakers for the television, my stereo system or hell, maybe my computer. LOL!
I feel guilty about taking the opportunity of Aurora being so tired and Brett being out. I'm trying to get as much done as I can.
I was supposed to go to my mom's house to get our clothes done but I'm thinking of sending Brett instead. That way I can keep on working on things around the apartment.
It's really sad. I've been working around the apartment as much as I can with Brett getting in my way and keeping Aurora on her routine as much as possible, and I only have about half of the boxes unpacked and put away. Our apartment is still a disaster and we've been here a little over a month.
I can honestly say I'm getting tired as hell of boiling water. I'm making sure to do so for doing the dishes since Aurora eats off of our dishes as much as her own. I don't want to risk her getting something from me not boiling the water from the break. I know it might sound a little overboard but she's already miserable... there's no way I'm going to make it or even chance it getting worse.
Okay, I'm going back to cleaning, especially since Brett's on his way home. I feel like I have a ton of energy right now and I don't know where it came from. I'm hoping I can actually sleep tonight!
05:24 Mar 11 2009
Times Read: 999
I found a way around the no pet policy. All I need to do is get my psychiatrist or my therapist to write me out a note saying I need a kitty for companionship since I use them as therapy when I'm having a anxiety attack. I already have a kitty in mind. It's the one who recently had kittens and I've been feeding her when she comes up to visit me. We know of a woman who will fix her and also give her all of her shots for free. I just really need to come up with a name for my kitty. Something that fits her. We call her Ma-ma right now and she answers to it but I really want her to not feel like a stray anymore. *sigh* Brett Brett and I really like Minnie or Sandy right now but we're still thinking.
I can't sleep. I took my medicines at 9:30 like usual and I can't sleep for some reason.
The cops were called tonight. There was two cruisers when I went outside. I guess from what people were saying some stupid guys came up here threatening to shot people.
We were told this is only the third day of nice weather and this is what's already happening. It's not as bad as our Nashville complex was and we're doing better.
17:01 Mar 10 2009
Times Read: 1,008
I'm up and moving. Brett's driving me a little bit insane today but at least we talked last night about something that had been on my mind for a while. I'm wondering how much of that conversation got through though.
19:22 Mar 09 2009
Times Read: 1,013
I just updated my portfolio some. The most recent picture in there is from February. I need to upload some more recent ones but I'm waiting for a disc to burn from Brett's laptop so I can resize and get some of the pictures from there up. *sighs* I'm trying to keep them in order! LOL! So far they are!
05:53 Mar 09 2009
Times Read: 1,017
I couldn't do it. I didn't make it through the night. Brett came home about 30 minutes ago. I feel ashamed of myself. I feel so sorry to him and to myself. It's a big deal to me. I failed.
22:38 Mar 08 2009
Times Read: 1,027
So far I've tried calling Brett 6 six times and called Chris once, and talked to Bret on the cell phone once. I've also left about four messages on instant messenger for him. It's been close to four hours now. I admit I'm paranoid and I'm scared. He's going to call me around nine tonight to make sure I'm alright.
I feel like hiding in a closet.
Alone?!
18:41 Mar 08 2009
Times Read: 1,034
I was kidding when I first offered up the idea and then I wasn't so much anymore. I'm scared to be alone but Brett needs his time out with his friends. Aurora went with him so she could play with Chris' boys because we haven't been there since January.
This could be bad. But I think this could be really good for me. I need my anxiety medicine. I feel like I'm so stupid for losing them. I can't find them anywhere and the anxiety attacks come and go as they please. I can't get them refilled until probably the 11th.
I need to make it through tonight. I will be fine. I need to learn to cope with the anxiety and I guess this is the best way.
I have a list made to keep me a little bit busy and still have time for a bubble bath and girly things. I need to enjoy this. *sighs* At least Mr. Fishy and Ma-Ma kitty will keep me some company. Brett already told me I could go get the kitty and bring her in.
I'm going to get off of here and finish my movie.
*Maybe I should have mentioned above that I haven't really spent the night alone in over a year.*
COMMENTS
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DreamlessNight
18:28 Mar 25 2009
I'm Glad your happy right now Tiffy.