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I just want to open my veins, and let them out! GODS! How sweet oblivion sounds! No. Don't fret! This isn't a suicide note. just a desperate mind with no answers. I've too many people depending on me to indulge in such actions. sleep well kiddies....I sure wont.



~DM~

they're back again(Bastards). Bigger and uglier than before. Clawing, biting , and tearing me to pieces. nothing seems to work. I've tried it all,short of an excorcism. Herbs, charms, ritual, prayer...useless! Each time I lay my head down with some slightly renwed hope of oblivion, I find them there waiting for me. Ready to turn my world upside down again. Ready to tear what little sanity I have left to shreds. every night the same waking up over and over again covered in sweat screaming or crying. I've fought in two conflictsa for my country! I've stared death in the face and walked away a stronger man! But this...?



I don't think it will ever go away.No one around me knows what it's like, or understands how much these Demons take!



I'm barely me anymore!



I know the ramifications of what I'm about to say...but,





I curse the bastards who did this to me! With every breath in my body! with every beat of my heart! with every drop of my blood! I curse them! May they know the hell they themselves inlicted! my they know the shame! The pain! The absolute helplessness! May they be Damned and plagued by the very same maddening nightmares they've left with me!! FUCKERS!





*sighs....closes eyes and weeps*



Now my pillow waits. My eyes are to heavy to keep writing. I just can't take another round of this!



i just want some peace!

sometimes, while dancing on the edge of oblivion, we foget about the mudane. some times it's to the point where, as we look back, the mundane has become more daunting than the abyss we've been flirting with for so long. we lose sight of the "normal" and cometimes lose direction. i have no remedy for this. I can only say, Balance is key! Always keep your sense of self, and never lose sight of your higher aims in this round of life. ttfn

~DM~