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Devilmater's Journal


Devilmater's Journal

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5 entries this month
 

For My kids mom

02:43 Oct 30 2009
Times Read: 626


You could have gave up

but you chose to be a mother

You were used to free living

but now they call you mom

you traded drugs and dreams

for childrens hugs & Kisses

instead of being wild and free

you gave it your all

I thank the lord everyday

you are my childrens mother.





Dedicated to Brittany Lorraine Young


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Why i changed my mind

17:01 Oct 26 2009
Times Read: 628


6 A.M and Damyan's wakin’ up

Rolls outta bed with sleepy eyes

Goes to his sister’s room across the hall

“Hey Elly rise and shine”

He pours two bowls full of Captain Crunch

Puts a fresh pot of coffee on

He wakes his momma up off the couch

"The bus is here, we love you mom"



He made the breakfast

He did the dishes

So she wouldn’t have to



Oh he’s only ten

Just comin’ of age he oughta be out playin’ ball

And video games

Climbin’ trees

Or on a bike

just ridin’ around

But it’s hard to be a kid

When you’re the man of the house



It’s late at night and Larry King is on

Momma’s up on the couch again

Damyan hears them all talk about

That awful war his daddy’s in

So he runs off, straight up to his room

Don’t want his momma to see him right now

He climbs in bed and says a silent prayer

Then he cries his little blue eyes out

Don’t wanna let her down



Oh he’s only ten

Just comin’ of age he oughta be out playin’ ball

And video games

Climbin’ trees

Or on a bike

just ridin’ around

But it’s hard to be a kid

When you’re the man of the house



It’s finally Saturday

Damyan gets a phone call

Another world away from home

He says, “I love you dad”

Daddy says it right back

“Wish I could reach through this phone

And hug you, and Elly, and your mom

I’m so proud of you son.”



He’s only ten

Just comin’ of age he oughta to be out playin’ ball

And video games

Climbin’ trees

Or on a bike

just ridin’ around

But it’s hard to be a kid

When you’re the man of the house



It’s 6 A.M and Damyan’s wakin’ up

Rolls outta bed with sleepy eyes



Dedicated to those who i love the most


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Ellyana this is for you

16:52 Oct 26 2009
Times Read: 629


Today I am being asked to give you away but I never owned you.

Today I am asked to set you free from me but your Freedom you were born with.

I have given you a lot and I'v not given you alot. I hope you understand.

So while I am giving you away here are some more gifts:

All the comfort and protection I am capable of whether I am in this body or not

My very best wishes for your personnel fulfillment

A sparkle on the water, a song from a bird, a soft breeze on your face, some star-shine and some moon-glow. These aren't mine to give but neither are you.


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I WANT TO DIE WHILE YOU LOVE ME

16:46 Oct 26 2009
Times Read: 630


I WANT to die whileyou love me,

While yet you hold me fair,

While laughter lies upon my lips

And lights are in my hair.



I want to die while you love me,

And bear to that still bed,

Your kisses turbulent, unspent

To warm me when I’m dead.



I want to die while you love me

Oh, who would care to live

Till love has nothing more to ask

And nothing more to give!



I want to die while you love me

And never, never see

The glory of this perfect day

Grow dim or cease to be.



DEDICATED TO: BRITTANY lORRAINE YOUNG


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Leaving

00:02 Oct 01 2009
Times Read: 630


i lie awake again, drowning in sin, as i hide behinde this smile you see,



dosen beer bottles on the bed room floor, once i had love, now i beg for more, close my eyes and then i cry, and pray to God that i'm never gonna die, showed the world and proved my love, prayed to the stars and the heavens above, gave it my all, tried my best, packed my bags and ill take my mess, all i see is the door closing behind me, this pain inside please set me free, how i wish i could open my eyes, get out from under these feeble lies.



i am still awake, this pain i cannot take, the smile on my face seems to fade away.



count one by one shadows on my wall, just to close my eyes and watch them fall, get out of bed,and shake of those webs, thinkin of the times, that where my best, i remanise for a little while and all i see, is your smile, so ill sit down and cry a while, feels like i walked a thousand miles



starin at the stars, girl all i see, is my own death,lookin back at me, as you came through the door pulled me to the floor i saw your fear as i wiped away those tears,



never agian will i feal this way girl i promise you that i have changed, no more booze no more pills, i wont go lookin for no cheap thrills, i have found myself in those eyes, as the clouds part to clear my skies as i held you close, kissed your lips, im brought to a place that i have missed.



now the credits roll, my pain took its toll, and never again will i leave.....


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