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I seem to get this rage in me every three months. Its like I'm on the edge of bipolar disorder. They say December is the highest month for suicides. Look at the guy today who shot up a shopping mall.

I'm not going to shoot up a shopping mall, or go all boomtown rats and shoot up a school on a monday. And I have too much I want to accomplish to kill myself, so I hope no one calls the cops about this journal.

But I get so angry. It burns me up inside. I need to find some outlet for my rage. I guess thats why I like the movie Fight Club so much. I feel like just beating the shit out of people. even if I lose the fight, just punching, and letting loose with that kind of aggression is the only way I think I can let the demon loose inside me. Maybe I should start going to the gym again, and work out.

I don't know what I'm going to do, I just want to hurt something, destroy something. Maybe I'm just frustrated. I'll figure it out tomorrow, this cold is kicking my ass.