The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

1997, Having a great time with the freaks from Drama class. This guy, who thought he was westley snipes or some shit, thinks he's fucking Blade or something...Takes an extreme approach to getting me back for shoving his sock down his pants. He FREAKING BITES ME...on my chesticle! No, no, no, not some nibble...but a serious bite that almost broke the skin. Such an asshole!*growls*

2002, I was in my apartment snuggling with Xander (my male cat). He was doing that under the chin nuzzle while I was sleeping and the ex thought it would be funny to make the sound of a barking german shepard. Okay, I admit, this one is pretty fucking funny...Xander hisses and scrams ALL OVER my chesticles like a scene straight out of a scoobie doo episode! Wow, he was right, I am looking back laughing!

New years 2005, great party! Couldn't even imagine a better party, we were into our 3rd bottle of champagne and good ol' Jules was so ripped...she somehow managed to shoot that cork off at my chest. Oh my god lol. It felt like a bullet! Bruised for 2 weeks and laughed at until St.Patricks Day. Mmmhm.

4th of July, 2008. Im at one of my friend's kid's party (because i'm always aunt Diana now days) and me and my friend steal her kids toy guns. The one's with the those day glow suction cup thingies. We're shooting these off at each other when all of a sudden, her nephew fires one that hits me in the chest so perfect, so clean that it makes a popping sound off my flesh, sending the backyard into wild laughter! I say ouch, they laugh. *rolls eyes and shakes head*

TONIGHT! The dog was pretty chill tonight. He looks very pretty now that he's all groomed again. We have our cute moment...he decieved me lol...he spazzed out when the rain and wind made the branches touch the window. He scramed all over me and my chesticles and, wow, im brusing lol. He's a bichon frise. Those who know him best call him a bitch on fries. *looks innocent*

So, yeah, I'm thinkin'...This shit's gotta come to a screeching hault! Chesticles weren't meant to be injured...no matter how funny it is. *thinks about getting more ice*

Freaking dog...