The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

The definition of descending is to go down; to arrive or attack in a sudden or an overwhelming manner...I love both of these definitions because it describes my life in two different ways. One way is out of my control; the other way I am in complete control. So why is it that I can't seem to find what I am looking for? Why is it that I seem to be chasing ghosts? Ghosts that are very real to me, but untouchable? Am I not worthy enough? Have I left something undone? Or have I been cursed by life...or death?

COMMENTS

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Lordpeace
13:00 Mar 27 2009

did you ever consider that those you chase may be ascening while you are descending perhaps its just the wrong direction they are going in why does it have to be you?

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I haven't written in a journal in FOREVER...guess there is no better time, considering where my life is right now.



I seem to be slipping....into a side of the world I have never been. I almost need to come up for air, but have no desire to. If I close my eyes, where I am and where I want to be are two totally different places. Although...I can see small changes happening that seem to be bringing me closer. I am not complaining-quite the opposite...I am...enjoying...enduring...waiting to see where life will take me next. Although I am secure in my long term future, I am not so sure of my short term...and I like it this way, for now. I seem to have this new fascination, which has lead me here, to this place, looking, searching, hoping, that someone else out there happens to be walking the same path as I am. Afterall, who wants to be alone? Vampires are pretty much antisocial creatures, when they need to be, and charmers when they need to be. That is where I fit in-morphing into my surroundings with ease-being in total control of what I want to portray to others. So, maybe this entry is just another way to fool you, the reader, into thinking I belong here....heh, what a thought...

COMMENTS

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reluctantlymortal
13:49 Feb 06 2009

hmmmm

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DragonReborn
20:58 Mar 20 2009

i have come to believe that we all fit in here on this site in one way or another.Wheither it be by us searching for someone or something to hold onto..or just searching for more information to use to further what we believe in.We all belong..Having total control over what does or doesn't happen is great..but there is also that exciting feeling of loosing ones self and not having any control over what is goin to happen.the mystery..the challenge..the uncertainty of it all.I wish you all the best in your journeys and hope you find what you seek.

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