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What is it I am searching for...really? Someone on the outside

looking in

will see smiles

comfort

satisfaction

but in reality...

I am none of these things, I have none of these things

I am still searching

not finding

maybe I am searching for peace

dammit I am so tired

COMMENTS

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DragonReborn
20:52 Mar 20 2009

it can be very hard when we search and search and all we find is pain and rejection.We may put on a smile for the world.but unless people want to trully see how we are..they will never see the pain inside.I wish you all the luck in your search.I do hope you find the happiness and smiles and peace you search for.

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dracshierbloodtears
18:58 Mar 31 2009

when one stops looking, one finds, Open up to new lines of thinking and let yourself be absorbed in the world

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TheCount
13:43 May 27 2009

Your search is over....I'm looking in and I see, I see only you:



Beautiful

Amazing

Open-minded

Adventurous

Stimulating

cautious

Reality

Playful

Awake

Streagth

Power

Awareness



...yes I see you

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POST COMMENT

My soul is dark today...so dark that it blends in with the night...so dark that I cannot recognize it or distinguish it FROM the night...

I cannot seem to get a good breath...my lungs burn and feel as if they want to explode from my chest. My eyes want to close and no longer see. I hear voices...ones that are familiar to me, calling out my name...but I do not want to heed. I want to drift out further away from the pain that seems to hold me back. Because I know...I KNOW the truth. I know deep inside how the truth haunts me and screams at me. It cannot be ignored, although I have tried...am trying...will forever try. I only have a small amount of time-what do I do? Why is it such a hard thing to accept the way things are and just fuckin move on? What is holding me here??? Curiosity...love...hope...strangling me all at once. Where is the Hand I always see, feel, KNOW is there? I have abandoned It, left It behind, as I move on attempting to find it is that I am in search of...