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The relationship I've been in for 5 months has expired and I'm not handling it well. He was everything I was looking for in a male. He caused me to stop mid sentence because his gaze was so intense, struck me dumb by his intelligence even though he's a complete goof ball, he made me feel so safe and secure just by giving me a hug, he made me feel alive and wanted when he showed me affection, he made me feel as if i was on top of the world, indestructible and untouchable.... and I had to walk away from him. Even though he made me feel all these things he didn't treat me well at all. I was more of a slave/servant than a girlfriend. He criticized everything I did especially my cleaning which we all know i can do very well considering that i was taught by a mum and house cleaner herself, he accused me of everything that went wrong, he called me fuck face constantly, i did all the cooking, fetching, and everything i did wasn't acknowledged or appreciated or recognized. I couldn't handle it anymore. I put my whole being into the relationship because I really loved him and I guess it hurts so much because I actually felt something really strong for him. I loved him with every atom in my being....



He told me at some time that he wanted to propose to me but I wasn't 18 so he said he'd wait till my 18th and propose to me.



At first I was so happy, we were so happy, things were working out...until we left for the Gold Coast from Adelaide. We were in the Gold Coast for a week and then we came down here to Murwillumbah to stay with his father. His father couldn't tolerate his laziness and said find a different place to stay so seeming as he was friends with some hari's who lived about 6 minutes out of town we were allowed to stay with them for as long as we wanted... and that was where the trouble started. City boys should stay away from rainforest.



At first we lived in a tent and then the head honcho hari said there was an old truck back that a former hari lived in and we could live in it for $50 a week rent. But this truck back was filthy. It looked as if someone had shat on the wall and rubbed some dirt along with it and smelt ten times worse. It was covered in webs of Funnelweb spiders(some of them were still occupied!!!!), black widow spider nests, two huge huntsmans had lived in there too. I had to clean it by myself with a bucket of water and bleach and a small scrubbing brush. But after i managed to make it livable he started to treat me like a slave. i had around 20L of water in 2L bottles. I had to walk up a steep hill just to fill these bottles up two sometimes four at a time and lug them back full of water and then i also had to fill up a bucket of water to clean with while the bottles were to cook with. to fill up this bucket I had to attach a string to it and throw it into the Tweed River and pull it back. i had to do that three times until i got water that was clean. There was no Electricity, privacy, flowing water, toilet, shower/bath and the hari's were two faced, back stabbing money grubbing cunts(excuse my bad English).



Recently I've been thinking and I've come to realize something... Maybe I acted selfishly. I should of sat down and talked to him about his treatment of me rather than walking out, I should of seen past the insults and saw that he wasn't angry at me but rather was frustrated that seeming as he was the head of the house it was his duty to provide for me properly, have a proper house for me to feel safe in and a place to call my own.



I should of seen past it and saw straight away the problem and talked to him about it. I'm going to see if I can re-establish contact with him and at least be a friend though I know I am missing him and want him back.