What is it that defines a loving, healthy relationship? I'm not sure, but I am sure of what I want in a relationship of my own. I want a woman who loves me for who I am, not who she wants me to be. I want a woman who understands the concept and practice of compromise. I want a relationship where I don't have to be the strong one all of the time. I want a relationship where I can laugh and cry with the one I love. I want a relationship built around understanding, compromise, and partnership. I'm not looking for control, or someone to hold me hand. I'm looking for a partner to share my life's experiences, good and bad, with.
Fuck, I hate my life. I hate feeling. I hate having a bleeding heart and I'm sick of seeing other people falling in love and leaving me to hold the bag. My emotions are seriously out of control right now, and my vampiric side is jumping up and down for joy, cause I want to cause blood to flow and cause enormous, catastrophic amounts of pain. It makes me smile just thinking about it, the first time I've smiled all week. Honestly, I don't want to control my vampire anymore. I'm sick of being in so much control that I miss out of love, life, and happiness.Gods, I'm so sick of this shit. Every friend I have has fallen in love, and I'm left holding the fucking bag. Why is it that women won't even give me the fucking time of day, and those that do only see me as a stupid little brother figure. I'm sick and fucking tired of being lonely and hurting. My heart is slowly turning to stone because that feels a whole lot better than hurting all the damn time. I go to bed alone every night. I wake up alone every morning. I eat my meals alone. I watch movies alone. My entire life's story is of me being alone, and I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do or what I'm going to do, but I have to do something to make the pain stop, or I'm going to go insane, literally. I just can't take the loneliness anymore. Is it really so much to ask the Fates for one woman to love and be loved by, share my days with, and enjoy the happiness that being in love brings? Is it really that hard?
COMMENTS
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Isis101
21:50 Apr 04 2010
Good, common-sense desires. Good luck on finding the right one!