The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Looks like hate is winning out in my life. I have tried my best and tried my hardest to love and to be friends to pretty much no avail. What few friends I have, most have fled and chosn to hate me. People that do not know me, see me as a leper cause they prefer to listen to others and take those people at their word instead of judging me and knowing me for the contents of my heart. So once again the monster that is called hate is starting to win and beat me again. Should I fight it or should I let it win? I don't know. I am tired of fighting and tired of having to prove myself to people over and over again. I really don't see the need of the continued fight.

Mood: I Do Not Know

COMMENTS

-

---

Sinora
13:35 Nov 22 2008

The best way to prove yourself is to be yourself. Know yourself, improve yourself to your own satisfaction.

---

POST COMMENT

Once again love and friendship has doomed me again. What is the use of having love in your life, when love is the one thing that hurts you the most? Why bother loving anyone when the one you love the most is the one that hurts you in the worst way? I had a few friends here where I live. Now most of them pretty much look at me like a leper. Instead of my friends judging me for the contents of my heart, they want to judge me for my past now. They completely kipped the friendship stage to go straight to the hate you stage now. Now it matters not how long we have been friends, now they just prefer to hate me cause of my past. Is friendship worth the pain? Is love for that matter?



I am starting to realize that love and friendship is for a fantasy world that you read in a book than in real life. That is where love and friendship shoud only exist and not in the real world.

Mood: Feeling The Pain Of Being Rejected

[Friends Only]



Easy to see how one mistake caused by another person can make your life a living hell. A couple of people have found out about my past that I have tried so hard to keep a secret, cause what my ex-fiancee did to me has pretty much destroyed my old life. For 8 years I have worked hard to build a new life, a new beginning. Now it has been destroyed. My dreams of having children has been crushed yet again. Why even bother trying?

Mood: Depressed & Rejected

Why are hearts always broken? Why do others love to break the hearts of the ones who love them the most? My heart has been broken or trampled on so may times that I don't een think that it is there no more cause I sure as hell don't feel it. I have had a lousy marriage that will end by the end of this year and I had hoped that I would have someone waiting for me after this ordeal and now that is not so. So I guess that I was never meant to be cared for nor was I ever meant to be loved either. I guess that my lot in life is to be lonely and without love for the rest of my days. There are times that I wish that I would never wake up cause I sure as hell know that I would never be missed. I am not wanted by nobody. All that I have ever been with or have wanted to be with pretty much have kicked me to the curve. Death is sure looking like a good thing right now, that nice cold emptiness that is always silent and no one can hear your tears there.

Mood: Sad & Dejected

COMMENTS

-

---

Sinora
13:22 Nov 15 2008

Once mended a broken heart is stronger and it's owner perhaps a little wiser.

---

POST COMMENT