My Dearest Love,
Happy Halloween
I hope you are happy and safe
I wish I could be there and spend time with you the kids and the grandkids
but this is all we have
I noticed something
when I don't write you
I tend to feel depressed and I also tend to dive into fantasy wormholes about my past
I'm sorry I haven't written in a while
I'm so worn out it's not funny
I think on set winter blahs approaching
I did watch a good horror film
Hereditary
the FX were awesome and the storyline takes you for one hell of a ride
it's only 2:18 am here and I'm getting sleepy
yes the dingbat will have the vacuum running at 6 am
why do I allow myself to be surrounded by people who want to bend the whole world to their will?
it's so tiresome
it sucks the life right out of me
I know it is my fault
and I have no one to blame but me
eyes are watering now so I should leave here and sleep some
love you with all my heart Rose
you are the whole reason I breath
love forevermore your Dew
my Dearest love
I'm just yeah
well we are so closer to Halloween
they say on this night we can speak with the ghost of our loved ones and they, in turn, can speak with us
I wish
I miss my mom and dad
and lately, I feel so old
why the fuck am I watching Keanu Reaves in a wedding destination
I don't mind them RC's but this is so annoying
maybe I think we should just watch Final Destination
those are fun ...trying to figure out how the domino will fall
anyway I settled on The Buttler
I forced myself to sit through the painful parts
I mean how can we treat each other like that
and it's only getting worse
That's all I will say on this
I love you
and I have a bunch of papers to go through
love always
your Dew
My dearest love
a lot has happened
I've become a permanent employee at IPE
I finally saw "Whts Easting Gilbert Grape"
and tonight? Black Butler
I miss you
I dream of you ...and sometimes you enter my daydreams
just wish they were real
I wish you were here with me
I'm Tired of being alone
i love you with all my heart
Come fetch me home
Your Eternal Flame
Dew
My Dearest Love
I hope your weekend was slow and relaxing
there's a film I am watching with Anthony Hopkins and Helena Bohnem Carter called Howards end
British drama ...
1992 she looks so young
but in 1992 Helena and I were 26 and looked all of 15
I feel tired
so I will leave you with my love
you are my life
your Dew
COMMENTS
That is beautiful.
it was an experiment in manifesting...it failed ..she dose not exsist
my dearest love
I feel like shit
sleep eludes me
but when I do sleep I have scattered dreams it's like they are real
but only snippets
I had one come to light today
I am at BEVMO getting new glasses and a mini moonshine for the moonshine apples I'm making
there I saw her the butterfly fairy whom I mistook for the pirate queen
I was also talking to a girl about one piece
its phased in like you were to take a transparent photo cell like the things they used back in school and slide it over reality
and it clicked into place as in a new part of the path I'm on came into being well it was like crossing a border
I just wish I could find your photo
I have seemed to misplace it
If I was an artist worth my salt and could draw as I did back in my youth...I would draw you
i know you've seen attack on titan all 4 seasons so allow me to catch up
I love you my fall fairy queen
with my whole mind body and soul
think of me often and smile
love always
now and forever
your Dew
My love and light
I Like Pie there...I Said it...it wasn't easy but there it is
I know I know. it's just one of those things but .. I do like pie
not just pie .. pie with ice cream served in chunks and layered in a mason jar cup and whipped cream
I know you want me to eat your pie .. oh and I will..you betcher sweet ass I will
nice and slow
I want to savor each morsel
every drop of cream
doesn't matter what kind either apple cherry blueberry
don't know about snozberry they seem to have lost their Snoz
love you most
love always
Yer Dew
my dearest love
i am so sorry I haven't been available
I'm beat tired my body is falling apart
But it is the price of being old I guess
It's almost Halloween I am excited
you already know what my wish is and I hope you wish the same
our home
our life
finally happy and no more depressing self-destructive thoughts
i want us to be two grinning fools that people always want to know our secret to being in love and happy
but doubt creeps in and I see myself cold , alone and old living in a broken down van that I've managed to push into the woods and conceal
wondering if I will be arrested today for trespassing on some one's land or being homeless
I hate doubt it and its partner fear can cripple you if you let it
but never stop fighting rose ...never stop never give up on your dreams ..our dream
I love you to the moon rose
I must fall asleep now
good night
love always your Dew
My Dearest Rose
Today I went to the state fair
it was small but I understand why
Covid 19
Terrie and I went she bought me and her a deep-fried cheesecake
I bought her fry bread I got frybread taco then
lol I got to pet 2 piggies
it felt good to act like a kid
I was spiritually running amok we stopped off for a coke I told her she needs to buy a scratcher..she won 100 bucks
then we went to my favorite Asian store lee lee's and I bought a good luck cat the one that waves at you
I really hope this works
we will be together
I will come home
I love you so much
love always and forever
your Dew
ello lovie
lol
we made it through another week and here we are
I'm watching a film calle d the haunted hotel
its several stories in one film like different years
victorian age to the 60s to the 50s to the well you know
going to the state fair tomorrow/t'day
gonna go pet some cows mmhmm
lol right now it's Bob the ghost
will be great when we can watch things like this
also the state fair/ oh yeah!!!
or a our own haunted orchard!!!
im off to bed my love
Rosie you are the best part of me life i mean et i do
love always now til the end of time
yer Dew
my dearest love
I can feel your hugs all the way over here
we are getting closer to our goal
happy dance
I was telling young Zackery some important advice
his life is almost like ours
but his professor lives with him and she is shorter than you
and 12 years your junior
anyhow I told him first and foremost NO ROOMMATES never let anyone except your children live with you
it causes way too many problems
2nd a family that cooks together stays together
if you cook together you eat together
you are communicating this also means the kids do the dishes lol
well if it's just us we do em I suppose or if you have had a hard day I can
3rd love her for who and what she is
never try to change anybody
he said he can't understand people who do this
I said exactly you spend too much time and energy trying to mold someone into something they are not because the person may be attractive but just isn't the one
you both wind up miserable
money and material things are like a fart in the wind it's here one minute and can be gone the next
I should get off my soapbox now
you do the lectures way better than I could
I have one former daughter and your kids
but we haven't made it to that point so all this wisdom ... I'm trying to bestow upon any younger person who will listen
i love you with all my mind body and soul Rose Ann O'Rourke
I will see you soon
Forever yours Dew
I love you to the moon and beyond the stars
Rose, you are everything I hoped for and dreamed about
what brought this on? what a guy cant say nice things to his girl without a ..Damn it I fell for it again
when will I ever learn? never..because I'm a man and when it comes to tricks women play men are pretty much idiots
you didn't have to be so quick to agree
yeah I know you love me just as much
I'm just glad to be home with you
and thanks for getting me up especially after I tapped the snooze a 3rd time
and one good pounce and "GET UP" is all it took
but see here ...as I said this morning what if all I'm doin' is waiting for you to pounce?
hey, you do the remote lectures and in between, it's ok to pounce what they don't know won't kill me right?
It's just good to be home and in a few days it's us and the kids ...can't wait
I love our little family
I love you most though
love always
your Dew
my dearest love
i am so glad we were able to spend a second or two in the dream realm
i remember seeing you only in silhouette wel..l sort of and white grey background
you were leaning on your desk I made a remark about your ample body and how I can't get enough but I have to go now or I will never want to leave trying to be funny and you said
"you have an Open Invitation to place your sweet lips upon my ample posterior" and I replied without missing a beat
in my Best jack sparrow voice
"Please Forgive me, Madam, if I Linger too long whilst my lips softly brush the skin of your well-rounded Assets, for one dose find it quite difficult to depart in the presence of perfection"
I woke up and I really did not wish to get up but I made myself
It's 4 am here and I have a whole new lot to open when I get in
when I get home i promise to take it easier and spend more time with you and the kids...when they come round
but I'm for bed. I hope I can spend one more night with you there in the dreams... I love you Rose
I am forever grateful I have you in my life
love for now and always
your Dew
My light
Come lay with me and dream by my side
I wish to feel your breath upon my skin and hear you softly murmur in your sleep
I love you rose
you are my everything
your Dew
My Sweetest Dream
I hope your weekend was relaxing and not too hectic
i did the normal boring stuff laundry and got 5 gallons of water
got a few things
nothing special
saw Queen Marie Of Romania and then The Healer it takes place in nova scotia so yeah had to see it
the Newfie side came out so yeah
i wish I could sleep all night through instead of waking up every few hours
maybe I am on the verge of death when that happens like I stop breathing and I startle myself awake
the upside is I dream of you and remember it
they say you dream a few times during the night and if I dream of you could you possibly dream of me too?
it's 3:46 am here and I think I should try to sleep?
I love you with all my heart I do
but with my head pounding
love you more end of the discussion I win neener neener neener
for ever yours Dew
My sweetest love
It's home I named her Martha
a martin electric acoustic 12 string i plugged her into the vox
and it sounded like the Byrds from 1967
tried to learn turn turn turn but I'm too tired lol
I even figured out a 60s tune Then He Kissed Me by The Crystals
did a few parts of stairway
it just occurred to me that the Yamaha 12 I had in 13 never had a name
maybe because she wasn't mine to keep
any way in 2015 I brought 7 guitars with me and 2 amps
one by one I sold them minus one, the one I built
one by one I've replaced them all ..that is all but one
chloe a 1990 Gibson Les Paul Studio
Each guitar was upgraded to one of better caliber
Yamaha 12 string 50 bucks( no Name)/ Martin 12 string Electric Acoustic (AKA Martha)699.95
Austin electric acoustic (no name)/2018 Epiphone master built 795.99 Sam Ash
Jackson DKM2 translucent black over flamed maple 500.00 from eBay (Aka KIRA)
2018 Fender Players Series Stratocaster 799.95 (Aka Grace) Sam Ash
still have Abbie I won't ever sell her
I have an Epiphone SG I am rebuilding,
a Japanese Les paul I brought with me from vegas
the SG replaces the kit guitar I gave away
the amp was sold then too I replaced them with a VOX vt30 smaller but still not a bad sound also I have a VOX GT3
i am slowly rebuilding my life
i need a home and you and then I will be set
had that urge to go fishing
i will soon enough
i will stop yabbering now
i love you
hope you and the kids have an awesome Sunday and eat a plate for me
I will be there as soon as I am able
love always
your Dew
My Dearest light
I was so tired last night
I futzed a bit here and there but really I longed for sleep
saw a film when I got in called Hector and his Search for Happiness
he goes to china it starts there then to Africa then to L.A.
Hector is a British Psychologist
yes one of your caliber of people
anyway while in china he stopped by a monastery to find out their philosophy on happiness
the Monk told him
this is heavy so yeah i'm all like ya know ...light bulb !!
he goes(where he wants ..smart ass) Hector you hold all the cards all of them
hes right we hold the cards to our own happiness
sorrow grief mental breaks
we Dear Rose are the prisoners of our own minds and yet we hold the keys
this is why I do the mantra of bad memories are just the past carved in stones and those stones are at the deepest part of the ocean I can not go get them so why should I kill myself trying?
if I keep writing you
will you become real? this my love is the point of this metaphysical experiment
in my heart, I know you are real
just not here
but if I keep writing one day you will read these
I do feel you just as I drift off
or if I lay back and close my eyes I see you pounce
you are in my creative consciousness
also, I learned anyone who is afraid to die is also afraid to live
wait ...there's more
We... We Should Concern Ourselves Not So Much With The Pursuit Of Happiness, But Rather With The Happiness Of The Pursuit
I think we as humans like most animals {chinese zodiac} need a job or a task. I think it's in our primitive makeup to hunt things
be it meat or emotional fulfillment in some cases both
i am also grateful to you
by writing to you I quiet some things
life is easier to manage
almost like my own therapist
will I keep writing? yes, why wouldn't I?
also ..you would be free to read them anytime you wish
there are no secrets remember?
yes Mrs professor I know Grammer and punctuation!!!
don't pay too much to the mechanics of the sentence structure but rather dive into the meaning of the words
I'm off on a tangent again so....
I will stop
I love you with all my heart Rosie Girl
forever and Always
Your Dew
COMMENTS
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