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One day I was outside enjoying a smoke and listening to Inkubus Sukkubus-Church of Madness, when this little old ladycomes walzing rite up my driveway with a big ol' smile on her face, looks at me and notices that I am smoking a ciggy, she says hi, and that smokes are bad for me, I then respond with, we all die at some point, and for the time I do have to live, I intend to enjoy it. Ok, before I go any further with my tale, I want to let yall know that the song I was listening to boils down to this, all christians are idiotic, so back to the story. To my amasement, she asks if I am interested in hearing about the good word of jesus and what not, I tell her no, she responds by asking if I was an atheist, I tell her no, I am a devout Pagan, and therefore have no intentions on talking about jesus bullshit. She gets all upset and gasps dramticly and looks at me and tells me that I have just insulted the bible in such a way that it was more like, "you vile little bastard!" which just pissed me off, keeping my composure, I ask her how is it possible to offend the bible, after all it's nothing more than a book. She surprises me yet again by telling me that I needed to pray with her, asking for forgiveness and all that other bullshit, so I respond with "Ma'am, not only have you insulted me, but have insulted my ancestors, the great druids, and because of people like you, have caused my people much pain." Her eyes get all wide and has this look like she wants to say, so I tell her, before she gets the chance to even croak, "You have about ten seconds before I summon the wrath of my ancestors upon her, where you will experience the pain and suffering my people a thousand-fold, to leave starting now." And before I could take another breath, she not only leaves, but sprints away, screaming for mercy at the top of her lungs! I could not help but burst out in hysterical laughter as my neighbors start looking outside wandering what just happened.

COMMENTS

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KynthiaLucian
20:12 Apr 15 2013

LMAO!!!! I love this!!!!

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Darminicus
22:04 Apr 15 2013

I know it was epic! LOL

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NocturnalNymph
04:22 Jan 08 2014

wish I was there to have seen that! lol

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More than a form of the craft, it is an ancient and powerful art. It is responsible for most of the undead beings, and not for the faint of heart. It requires great discipline and focus, for one wrong vibe, one wrong twitch, and one can lose their soul to the dead they wish to resurect. I have been born a necromancer of the third degree, meening that I am one of the most powerful necromancers alive. not only can I comune with the dead, but raise them and comand them to do my bidding, ore place the soul of a demon into a corpse, creating a powerful shade. I do not accept students that want to learn this art to raise their loved ones, for when the dead return to this life, they are no longer human, but something between a demon and human, gor death changes everything. I only teach those who wish to learn how to protect themselves from the "evil dead", so to speak, or refine their skills as a medium/sensitive. If you wish to learn more on the subject, I will tell you, but for now, I will say that there is way more to necromancy than raising the dead.