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I sit here now sad and alone, wishing for the only thing that it seems i am destined not to have . . . love.



As i sit and wonder why it seems to avoid me i look back at who i am, who am I? I am not even sure anymore.



For all the things i do i am never sure anymore, who am I and why do i feel? I feel because i long, i long because i need.



But why? Pain is all i know, it is what keeps me warn at night, it is my food, my air, but why? Why have i been chosen to bear so much pain?



What if i don't want it anymore? Can i not just let it go? Can i not be loved? Sometimes i wish i could disappear as if i were only a shadow.



A shadow of a love lost, of a friend gone, of a life gone wrong. Why is all i know pain? Can someone tell me? Tell me why you would miss me, why me why miss me?



As i watch the blood run down i see all the pain that is me. It is who i have become. A pain, an unloved soul, a soul who knows only pain.

As light comes in and out of our world what is it that we see? What is it that makes pain hurt so much?



How does that pain tear you apart? Why does it feel like you heart has a dagger pushed deep into it?



Why does pain seem to flow like water from so many, and like stones from so many others. Tears fall like the evening rain.



But it never washes away pain, no matter how much the rain fall's it never seems to wash away at all.



As we stand and watch the rain fall around us, what is it that we do? Fall to your knees and ask why always you?



Or do you see the dagger of pain still buried deep, an move on without a word? Do you you pull it from your cheat and watch it bleed?



Pull it from your chest and watch it bleed. Watch as the pain flows from you like a red rain. Time will heal all wounds? I doubt that.



But let time take you where it will, for we have no real say in where it takes us, let it float you away to places unknown.



But always remember that pain that brought you to where you are, and know in your heart that it will not last forever.



A angel will come to you some day and pour all your pain away, even if it be so short a stay. Know in your heart that she loves you.



And you love her, through all the oceans of time you will love her always.

Here we stand, cold and alone, while not even speaking, what are you thinking? What is it that you feel now?



As the quite wind blows past your face what is it that you see? What do you wish in your dreams? You are quite and calm, what do you see?



I watch the way you move in the nights light, graceful and so alone, not knowing that i am here. Breathing as you start to dance in the moon's soft glow.



I long to touch your face, even if only for a moment. I breath soft and slow as i watch you, feeling you pull at me and yet not knowing that i love you.



A single tear rolls from my eyes as i wish to hold you to me, take you away from this cursed place.



Will you let me love you? Will you be what drives me inside? Taking your hand as we dance you look into my eyes.



And as the sun breaks the night sky we dance on until the light shines no more on us, and we fade as the though we were nothing more then shadows.

Why is it when you find someone you love they seem to disappear? Why do all the hopes of ones heart fade away into dreams of another time?



When do we see the light that is ours? Will you see yours when it shines bright or will you only see the dark of the night?



When one feels so alone and all we have is lost, why does that light not shine for us? Where did the light of your life fade away to?



Remember that there are lights to guide us as long as we look to see them. But always be aware that the light may fade away from you.



It always tears you apart time and time again. And yet you keep looking for that light . . . why? Is it worth having your heart tore from you?



Only you can answer this question. Only you know what you feel inside. It will always be only you that will guide me in the darkest night light.