The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Well by now you can guess that we have moved on to a new chapter in life. All the pain that i went through was just another step to take towards healing, being able to live life with feeling and not just numbly walking through each day as if its not real. Slowly, ever so slowly it seems, I am feeling, things I wish i wouldnt feel but know that i have to in order to fully be alive. As I have said there is a lesson to be learned in everything that happens, what matters is if you acutally learn the lesson. As my days go by and my life moves forward i begin to feel as though the lessons are being learned. They are not always the easy lessons, in fact more often than not they are the hardest lessons in life to be learned, but learn them we must.



It seems that i am forever destined to meet those that need healing, almost as if that is my calling, to always heal those out there but never getting healed myself. Maybe that is how i am supposed to be healed, by healing others. The happiness that i see and help others to get never seems to come my way. I still have some small semblence of hope that one day i will find my knight in armor, although i keep my feelings well guarded as you know, i remain forever open to the heartache that comes with taking a chance on love. Ahhh to be the young and hopefull. *laughs* maybe one day it will come back, that hopefullness that we all start out with until heartbreak kills it. Enough of the ranting about how horrible it all is, its really not so bad, once you learn to accept your calling and you embrace it. I enjoy helping others, i really do, maybe i should work on turning it around and helping myself. Something to think about.



Ahhh so once again i have met someone, is he worth taking a chance on? Not sure yet. Would I like him to be? Hell yes, but only time will tell, and like anything it needs to be taken one day at a time. Do good things still come to those that wait? I cant answer that, what i can say is that if it does come to those who wait will it come to those who are willing to reach out and grab it? I am sure most people would think or even suggest that i give up on it all, but you know? no matter what i just keep trucking along, I keep getting back up every time i get kicked back. One step forward for two steps back. * laughs again* life is rough isn't it? I have decided that it is no longer necessary for me to wait around, play games, i am going to go after what i want. Whats the worst that can happen? i get turned down? *laughing* if thats the worst than why not just go for it?



So maybe the next time we meet I will be able to tell you all about the results of my new outlook on things, will it work? Time will tell, BUt i will let you in on a little secret, i am not going to wait overly long for time to work. I think i will try to speed it up just a little. * smiles*

so until the next time we meet......

Sweet dreams my love I will wait for you but not forever.