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I been playing minecraft with lana for awhile and now i'm taking a brake from it for awhile cause i was thinking about playing black ops for awhile and then i might head to bed i been up since 3:30 this morning so right now i cant think straight my brain is nomb.

sitting here watching a friend stream his game playing i feel so calm when i pop into his stream to visit him.he's such a good person i really enjoy his streams when he does it.
this is the only time i get to have to myself is when my aunt judy is sleeping she none stop annoys me to hell everytime she's drinking it gets to the point where i want to scream very loudly in her damn ears just to get my point across to her.

its 4:17 am and i still have'nt slept i'm sitting here rating the database and wondering reather to play some black ops or not hmm.
my aunt wont leave me alone she keeps calling out for me it's making me want to yell at her for no reason at all.
what am i gonna do? with it being so damn early in the morning with no one to talk to or even just keep me company to keep me from going crazy ugh i hate this feeling i get so damn sad to the point of no return.
my mind wont shut down enough for me to get some sleep my body wont stop jumping which drives me crazy..why wont it stop what is it with me why cant i ever calm my body down even my mind i just cant stop thinking or even seeing things that's not there i even hear voices.

I have nothing to worry about
all i do is sit here and play my games and rate on VR just to keep my mind from going crazy which happenes alot lately.
i really dont understand whats going on with me the past few years it only gotten worse through out the years i try to keep myself calm to where i wont lose my damn mind and start yelling at people over stupid shit.
it's like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode inside of me but only when i get really pissed off which is'nt offten but when it does happen watch out or even run away from me cause you wont hear the end of it.

right now i'm playing minecraft with lana which been awhile since i played any games with her cause i been busy playing black ops4 since i got it for christmas.

I dont like when people start talking shit about other's behind their backs it really annoys the fuck out of me i'm normally a decent person but when it comes to drama and shit i get really annoyed and sometimes pissed off over that kind of shit that people start for no reason at all.
i try my hardest to stay away from drama but sometimes it seems i'm always pulled into it even though i fight hard to pervent from being yank into the damn drama bullshit.

well i'm sitting here with a cloged nose and a head that feels stuffed up alittle even though i might of got a damn cold from being outside in the snow cause my damn aunt wanted vodca to ease the pain she was feeling and then today i had to go back out again to pick up her meds which really sucked cause i hate the cold.
and then a guy that i know gave me a 1 and cut me down back to 62 but thank god i got his ass blocked and i also gave him a 1 let me say this.i do not like him and never will it takes alot for me not to like anyone and he pushed me to that limit i know hate is a strong hurtful word but i just cant help myself when it comes to him he's a worthless piece of shit and that i do mean from the bottom of my heart i just hope he rots where he belongs and that is deep down in hell.

why do men play with girls feelings?
i just dont understand any of it
even though i lived through having my feelings played with many times.
yeah it hurts really bad but i learned to live through it through out the years i been played with lied to and pulled through hell and back by many i have learned not to trust or allow anyone over the walls i have build around my heart through the years of being hurt.
i really dont allow anyone in my circle of friends that i cant trust not to lie to me or even hide secerts from me i dont enjoy being lied to.
to be welcomed into the circle you would have to show me that i can trust you with my friendship and secerts of mine you would have to take them to your grave with you.

COMMENTS

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ShadowedDemon
18:35 Jan 06 2020

A man who is willing to play with the feelings of a woman they show interest in, isn't a man.

To be more specific, that "man" is really an immature boy.

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DarkenPath
19:23 Jan 06 2020

i agree

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Vampireking777
19:55 Jan 06 2020

Well it understanding what woman want out of a man and the types you pick up as the ego over looks alot of things

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POST COMMENT

I walked to the store for my aunt its pretty nice out today i really enjoyed the walk even though my back and hips started to hurt alittle but i just pushed through it and kept walking wanted to get back home.and now i'm home and on skype with lana for abit until she has to leave to take her dog to get his shots oh how fun that will be lol i hate needles with a passion when it comes to needles i'm a big fucking baby lmao.

I been going through alot of shit in my life the past few years has been hell for me.i been trying to get my life back on track but i fnd it hard to do sometimes why cant i just act like nothing's wrong with me and go on with my so called life but my family wont let me