The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I never had and ordinary day to call my own with the world on my shoulder never had a moment of piece, every time I saw my life turn the page when so many needed my heart opened. I seemed to withered through the storm as I grow colder I often look out my window and watch the world go by as along with my sanity I watch all these couple's happy and loved while I stand here asking my self what is love as he never really felt loved him self all he felt was nothing but pain torture and much more, I often go for walks and I see so much anger in people and I just often wish I had a shut of switch I never asked for this curse that I have most call it a gift and say I should be lucky and yet why, I often see things that I wish others didn't have to see my visons are getting worse and worse each day I wanna cry and scream at the same time what do I do cause I sure as hell don't even know anymore welcome to my own darkness as it eats away at my sanity.

I often see my self trapped inside this really long tunnel not knowing where to go, see I set here thinking do I turn back and face the darkness that is consuming my very soul as my heart grows darker. now then I can also choose not to go back back and move forward and embrace that inner light that shines bright inside me but the darkness keeps suppressing now I know that sounds like the more logical choice to make. But I just often wonder why me why am I the key see I don't expect any of you to understand what I am even talking about, only a certain few knows I am just setting here everyday wanting questions and answers and and certain someone won't tell me he keeps telling me over and over that when the time is right everything will be reveled to me I just need to focus then to the one I really did truly love who is a half breed I wont say much more but my heart feels crushed cause she kept me in the light and now I can barely feel any left I have been cold and numb for quite some time now and not sure what Am going to do all these visions and dreams can be just way to much on me sometimes I even scream in the middle of the night when I wake up from sleeping I just wish Alex was here Feel lost with out my host but like I just I don't expect many to understand my situation part of me just wants to say fuck it and open my arms fully and submit letting the Darkness fully take me and consume what ever is left of me. :(