It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided
to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in
order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day
the day you died. The policy would go into effect at noon
the following day. So the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the
gates of Heaven.
The angel at the gate, remembering about the new law, promptly asked the
man, "Before I can let you in, I need you to tell me about the day you
died.
"No problem.", said the man. "Well, for some time now, I've thought my wife
was having an affair. I believed that each day on her lunch hour, she'd
bring her lover home to our 25th floor apartment and have sex with him.
So
today I was going to come home and catch them.
Well, I got there and busted in and immediately began searching for this
guy. My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire
apartment.
But, damn it, I couldn't find him! Just as I was about to give up, I
happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man
hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy to think
he
could hide from me!
Well I ran out there and promptly stomped on his fingers until he fell to
the ground. But, wouldn't you know it, he landed in some bushes that broke
his fall, and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more so in a rage
I
went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at
him. And oddly enough, the first thing I could grab was the refrigerator.
I
unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony and heaved it over the side. It
plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that right after that I had a
heart attack and died almost instantly." The angel sat back and thought
for
a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day, and it WAS a crime of
passion, so he announced, "OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven.",
and
let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. "OK. Here's the rule. Before I
can
let you in, I need to hear about the day you died."
"Sure thing.", the man replied. "But you're not gonna believe this. I was
out on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises
when
I got a little carried away and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily
however, I was able to catch myself by my fingertips on the balcony directly
beneath mine. When all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of
his
apartment and starts cussing and stomping on my fingers!
Well of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes on the way down which
broke my fall so didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on
the
ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see the man push his
refrigerator, of all things, over the ledge and it falls directly on top
of
me and kills me!"
The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. "I
could get used to this new policy.", he thinks to himself. "Very well.",
the
angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven",and he lets the man
enter.
A few seconds later the third man in line comes up to the gate. "Tell me
about the day you died.", said the angel. "OK. Picture this.", says the
man.
"I'm naked inside a refrigerator..."
Big Five Test Results |
Extroversion (16%) very low which suggests you are extremely reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private. Accommodation (34%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly selfish, uncooperative, and difficult at the expense of the well being of others. Orderliness (78%) high which suggests you are overly organized, neat, structured and restrained at the expense too often of flexibility, variety, spontaneity, and fun. Emotional Stability (88%) very high which suggests you are extremely relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Inquisitiveness (76%) high which suggests you are very intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical. |
A message i logged into today.
I am so tired, my patience is running very low. I am going to kill someone soon.
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