DRPomme's Vampire Journal

DRPomme's Journal

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1 entry this month

For Lily
16:13 Nov 09 2008
Times Read: 682

This is actually a story not a poem, I just wanted to keep it seperate from the novel I am in the process of posting in the story section. I have not figured out how to rename sections or I would have. Anyway here is the story:

::A Man's Voice::

She asked me to record my thoughts going back to when I first met her, up to this moment sitting in my apartment lost in a fog of thoughts and images I don't understand. And then keep the recorder with me and just record anything that seems to need to be recorded. She told me to only speak of her in the third person. This is not a letter written to her but the story of my life for her. I don't understand but she says it is best that way.

I met Lily Circe on my thirteenth birthday. Her family had just moved to Michigan, from Greece. Seventh grade Biology class. Long dark hair and even darker eyes. She seemed lonely. As I said it was October 30th, my birthday. For some reason I invited her to my birthday party which was that evening. She didn't really answer but nodded her head and smiled. I told her where I lived and that she could come over at 6 and ride with my family and me to the Little Caesar's with video games and stuff. My friends would be getting rides from their own parents. I think I fell in love with her that evening. The next evening she went with me to trick-or-treat. I was getting old for that and it turned out to be the last year I went. I guess they don't do trick-or-treat in Greece because Lily said it was weird but fun. The rest of the semester I followed her around a bit like a puppy might follow it's owner. I was pretty shy and too young to really date, I just needed to be near her. Then after the Christmas holidays her parents sent her to an exclusive private school in a town nearby. I believe a few months later her family moved and I lost track of Lily, soon I rarely thought of her.

It was in College that I next encountered Lily. I had enrolled at Calvin College, Grand Rapids Michigan, the center of the dying Dutch Reformed Church. I think my parents were concerned I was falling in with bad company in High School. In truth I was falling out of company with anyone. Nothing too odd really for a teenager.

Calvin College had an excellent program for future investment bankers. I took to it quickly. I wanted to make a lot of money. I am still not sure why. A sort of game I think. Calvin was also a great place for men headed to the seminary. Most of the women seemed to be majoring in being blond and preparing to become Stepford wives.

I needed a science credit so I took a bio class for non-science majors. It was on a level just a little higher than my last bio class in seventh grade. I was in lab one day cutting open the skin of a frog pinned down to a board, so I could observe it's heart beating. Just as I spread the skin apart, I heard a female voice “cool”. A slender finger lacking the standard pink nail polish reached down and rested on the bare beating heart “wow”. I looked up wondering why this girl wasn't saying “yuck” or “gross”. Attached to the unpolished finger was a beautiful young woman with dark hair and darker eyes. “Lily?”

“Don't call me that. My name is Lilith. And you must be Douglas Wickerman from seventh grade.”

I nodded, my face turning red. She laughed, “Well you haven't changed much. Still it's good to see someone not from this fucked up town.”

I laughed too, “Fuck yeah and it's good to see a gir.., a woman with dark hair. I thought blond hair was a requirement here, natural or more likely bleached but definitely blond.”

“Yeah, I guess I'm a rebel.” Then she continued with a note of sadness. “I do wish I would fit in somewhere, someday though.”

“But not here Lil.. Lilith, not here.”

Laughing again “Damn right Mr. Wickerman, Not Here!”

We became friends, not exactly close friends, more like allies trying to survive in a prison camp. During the fall of our Sophomore year, I heard about a group of misfits who were into the occult. I asked Lilith if she would like to go to a meeting with me. They were into witchcraft and read strange books and chanted. It was sort of cool and sort of weird. Lilith seemed to love the chanting in particular and was always trying to learn more about ancient rituals. The Samhain Society as they called their club, had precious few answers for her and would talk about other more advanced societies they had heard of, more often than not in California or Mexico.

During the summer we kept in touch through the mail. The letters Lilith would send me would hint at wondrous discoveries and a sense of strength. She said she was anxious to see me again. That fall Lilith did not return to school for her junior year. The letters stopped. My letters to her parents home were returned stamped “moved, no forwarding address”. I was crushed. I thought of her everyday. I sometimes even prayed that I would see her again. I threw myself into my studies.

When I graduated I went into Investment Banking at a firm in Minneapolis. I excelled in my field. Then on December 21, 2006 I saw an add for an orderly at a Cancer treatment facility. I applied that day and was hired. I called my employer and quit. I didn't and still don't know why. No, that is not true. When I saw the add I thought, “Lilith wants me to take this job.” I consider that an insane thought. But it made me feel close to Lilith for the first time in years, though I thought of her often. When they hired me it was the happiest moment I had experienced in years. Unfortunately for the most part the job sucked. People came for treatment, they lost their hair and died. Mostly. Some recovered, that made everyone happy. Not so much me though. I figured they were just going to die from something else. As Jim Morrison once sang, “No one here gets out alive.” The only recovery that did please me was a Professor of Religion from Calvin College. His lovely blond family came to pick him up after he got the good news. He kept praising Jesus and God and Calvin College for the miracle. That part made me sick. But when I read about the plane crash landing and the passengers who were burned to death... I believed in something, not sure what, something powerful and just, for the first time. The clinic did cutting edge research or claimed to. I was moderately interested. Then I heard about a new way they delivered some particularly powerful drugs. They put the chemicals in a little satchel that was essentially impervious to the elements except for a slow reaction to stomach acid which would cause it to dissolve just as it passed out of the stomach. Depending on what was in the satchel the drugs would be carried to the colon, the liver, or even slip back up into the stomach, not only that but the delivery was relatively gradual, first small holes appeared and any liquid moved gradually toward the liver, then tiny particles, then whatever remained the chemicals spread through the organs based on their individual properties. Cool. It was late September when it occurred to me that this sort of thing would interest Lilith so I snuck a satchel from the lab and took it home. When I got back to my apartment it occurred to me that, not only was what I had done silly, it was stupid since the satchels were very expensive and I could get fired for taking one. I decided to grind it up in the garbage disposal. I didn't. I put it in the silverware draw beneath the plastic silverware organizer. Days went by.

Then on October 29, 2007 she called. Lilith called! She remembered that my birthday was October 30! She told me to take a flight the next day that left Minneapolis at 9 PM central time and arrived in Los Angeles a little after 10 PM pacific time. “Please buy a one way ticket, you are coming to stay with me.” I agreed. My heart was pounding so loud I think she could hear it! “Calm down Douglas Wickerman, I don't want you having a heart attack and not make it here to me.” she said with a gentle welcoming laugh. She gave me some instructions that made little sense but I none the less knew I would follow.

When I got off the plane, I was greeted by a young woman with dark hair cut short, bright red lipstick and and black nail polish. “Mr Wickerman, I assume.” “Yes.” She took my carry on from my hand. “Follow me.” We walked out of the airport and got in her cab in silence. We drove for several hours arriving at a rather seedy looking Motel 6 somewhere outside of LA. Not a place I would expect to meet Lilith by any means. The driver got out of the cab and retrieved my trunk. I got out and she handed it to me. “Check in. Request room 66. Go to your room. Put the suitcase on the dresser. Open it” she stopped abruptly. “You do have the satchel, Don't You?”

“yes, of course.” I reached into the breast pocket of my suit and handed her the envelope I had placed the satchel in.

“Good, hold out your hands.” She removed something from her pocked a small container. Opened it and sprinkled a powder on my hands. “Rub your hands together, please.”

I did, “umm what is this stuff”

“I think she called it circumstantial evidence, or something. So after you open your suitcase, rifle through your clothes. Then walk to the all nite diner.” She gestured to a dank restaurant next to the motel. “Do not eat. You haven't..”

“NO”, I interrupted. “I haven't eaten all day, only drank water. I'm not stupid and I can follow Lilith's instructions even if they make no sense. OK? When can I see her? Is she coming here tonight?”

The cabby laughed and stroked my cheek. “OK, calm down. I should have known you would follow her instructions. Lilith is special isn't she. And so are you. No she is not coming here. In the restaurant you are to order pie, any kind. Don't take a bite. Play with it, break off a few bites. Drink water if you must but not a lot. After about 20 minutes, at least 10 but not more than 24 minutes, get up. Thank the waitress and leave a 50 dollar bill on the table. If the waitress says anything just say it is for her because she was nice, and that you don't need it anyway. Then go back to your room. Shut the door loudly. Turn on the TV and leave it on, but not loud, low volume. Look at the clock. At 3 AM exactly, quietly leave your room. Come straight out front. I will be waiting. Got it all?”

“Yes” It seemed very weird, yet somehow romantic. Romantic? Yes, Romantic, Wonderfully, Beautifully, Romantic.

When the clock reached 3, I rose quietly exited, got in the cab waiting out front, the engine running. We pulled out with the cabs lights off, the driver turned them on just as we pulled onto the road in front of the motel.

We drove a short distance in a horrid neighborhood. The cab stopped in front of an abandoned house. The windows boarded up.

“It looks like a “

“a crack house. Yes yes it is sometimes a crack house. Not to worry, tonight there will be no one there but you and Lilith. It is protected. Go to the bedroom at the top of the stairs. Lilith is waiting. She has begun a glorious ritual for the two of you. You do want to be with Lilith, even in this dingy place, don't you?”

“Yes, yes, all I really have ever wanted is to be with Lilith.”

“And so you shall be.” The driver got out, opened my door, took my hand and kissed it softly. She held my hand to her lips for what seemed several minutes. “It has been an honor to meet you, Douglas Wickerman. Now go.”

As I climbed the stairs my elation began to be overtaken by terror. Something wasn't right, this was too weird, my heart was pounding, I wanted to run. But I climbed the stairs. I looked into the bedroom which was lighted only by candles. My heart leaped as I say Lilith for the first time in so many years. Her back was to me and she seemed to be sprinkling incense on a candle and murmuring one of those chants she so loved. She wore a shear black nightgown. She turned to me and smiled. “So you have come to me as I willed it, my lamb.”

Her beauty was beyond belief. The pale white skin, raven hair. full dark red lips, even darker red nails, shining silver jewelry pierced her nose, Her eyes were like polished shining coal.

She told me to disrobe and lie on the bed, which had black satin sheets. I did although I was quivering.

“Hold the bedposts. Do not let go, do not initiate any touching. Tonight I will be in control of you. If you behave I will give you pleasure beyond your dreams.”

I obeyed. I felt terrified yet the terror was exhilarating, I felt more alive than ever berfore. I can hardly describe what happened next she kissed and licked my legs, then my penis then my stomach, my chest, sucking on my nipples as I moaned. She knelt above me as the gown fell to the ground. She guided me inside her. She was right, she gave me pleasure beyond belief. Taking me to the edge of orgasm again and again. Yet she seemed distant. She ignored my pleas to kiss me. She chanted, cupped her breasts in her hands. I realized she was in her own private world as she brought me to orgasm, screamed a beautiful hideous triumphant scream and lay on top of me, for the first time allowing her body to come into full contact with me from head to toe. I knew I loved her. I knew I feared her. After several moments she rose. In a soft sweet voice she told me to dress. It was time for me to go. Leaving her seemed unthinkable yet I knew I must and that I would somehow return to her forever.

“But first, as you must surely know, I am a witch. And I need to taste your blood so that I may feel what you just felt.”

She had a small knife in her hand.

“Don't be a coward. Just a small cut on your thumb will suffice.”

“Oh OK” I held out my hand. She took it in hers. Held my thumb up and made a rather long deep cut. But nothing serious. She squeezed it so that the blood began gently flowing. Took some sort of cotton ball and soaked it in the blood. She set it aside on a silver saucer.

“Here let me kiss it.” She kissed my thumb then began sucking it. Moaning. I almost forgot my terror for a moment, it was so wonderful to feel Lilith drinking my blood. In a minute she stopped sucking. She gave my wound a last lick. Smiled. “mmmm Douglas you are tasty. I am tempted to cut your throat and feast on your blood.” Laughing she continued. “But that would spoil everything wouldn't it?”

Lilith took a necklace from the table next to the silver saucer and put it on. It had some sort of rectanular silver pill box on it. She opened the pill box and removed the satchel I had given the cab driver earlier. The satchel was now filled. She placed it in her mouth. She closed her eyes smiling as she took the blood soaked cotton and placed it in the container, clicking it shut.

“Come my sweat Wickerman, a kiss before you depart. Don't be afraid, the cab is waiting, my servant will take you back to your hotel.”

I had a terrible sense of dread yet I so desperately wanted to feel her lips touch mine.

“Please don't leave me”, I begged as we embraced. I could feel her hands around my throat but gently. If she tries to strangle me I can break free, I thought to myself. But would I want to? It started a garden variety kiss, then deepened and became passionate as our tongues explored each others mouths. I was lost in bliss. Off guard perhaps as her tongue skillfully pushed the satchel into my mouth. The tip of her tongue pushing the satchel into my throat. Her tongue seemed almost to go down my throat. Her thumbs massaged my Adam's apple and I swallowed.

“thank you Douglas.” She stopped kissing me and held me gently as a mother might hold her child.

“I need to explain the rest of your part of this sacred ritual. Listen closely. And know that I will treasure you. Always.”

She took a step back from me picked up a camera cell phone and handed it tome.

“It is time for you to return to the motel. Speed dial 1 will call me.” She held up a cell phone of her own. “Actually so will 2,3,4, etc. but you will please me if you press the 1. so do press the 1.” She smiled. “Press the button for speaker and place the phone on the nightstand with the camera facing the bed. Lie down on top of the sheets. The blankets have already been removed. The sheets unfortunately are a cheap motel sheet, that is what they use, but at least I arranged for room 66 to have a brand new set. Nice and ::giggle:: virgin white. Your bright red blood will glisten beautifully. I do hope I can charm a policeman to bring the sheets to me after the case is closed.”

“Blood? No please...”

“Silence. Be silent please be not a coward. The die is cast, you will die before the sun rises on this glorious sacred morning. Or perhaps this is a dream or just a test to show that you love me. You must follow my instructions or you death will be a waste. Amusing but a waste. So as I said, you will die, the choice is how. You can induce vomiting which will be very painful but would get enough of the poison out of your system to piss me off. Not enough to survive, just enough too really piss me off. I'll throw this necklace in the trash and forget you. Or you may go back to your room, strip, lie on the bed and wait. Memorize my face, my love. Worship me as your veins begin to burn. Think only of me. Do not scream until the pain in your organs becomes unbearable. Keep my image in your mind as your mouth fills with blood. Blood will burst from your mouth, even your pores. You will be a mass of exquisite pain. And you will die. And I will treasure this poison pill necklace. They say your soul will reside here, between my breasts, near my heart. I really don't know. They also say that your life's energy will keep me young for a hundred years, at which time I will take another lover. I don't know for sure if that is true either. I only know that the writings of the Goddess about the great pleasure this ritual brings are so very true. I revel in your impending death. Never have I felt more alive, more powerful, more whole. Your fear disgusts me yet as the Goddess said a man's fear is delicious and intoxicating.”

I'm transfixed, hoping it is a dream. Or am I? Is this what I want, what I have always wanted? She kisses me again and smiles.

“Now go Douglas Wickerman, go and die.”

The driver must have come up the stairs as Lilith held me. She leads me down to the cab. I think I may have been crying. I am quivering with terror and a sort of strange eager anticipation, I can't believe this is real.

I am in the room now. I am lying down with the phone by the bed.

I made the call, I used speed dial 1. I asked her to spare my life to let me live with her. After a long silence Lilith spoke her voice the most beautiful I have ever heard. “Lie down, do as I told you. You must please me if you seek my favor.”

Strangely, though I want desperately to escape, I do want to please Her more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. My love for Lilith overpowers all else.

I am praying now to Lilith whose beauty fills my mind as my veins begin to burn. The pain in my organs is terrible, I should be doubling over but it seems my body is paralyzed. I hope you can still understand me. My throat is burning. Spare me please spare me. NO end it end it take my life Goddess the pain, the pain. I'm yours... at last...

::a seductive woman's voice takes over:: mmmm yes Douglas could no longer speak. He vomited a glorious fountain of bright red blood. O and such a tortured barely audible scream. “Lilith, I love you.” His mind must have still been filled with my beauty even as the unbearable pain tore him apart, My Goddess filled his senses with my scent, the feel of my touch, the delicious moist warmth he knew when he was inside me. I am stroking the amulet in which his soul surely resides, as I watch the pain convulse his body, blood again coming from his mouth, now his eyes, nose, mmmm yes and even the pores of his skin. As the last convulsion stops and even the energy that lingers just past the moment of death is gone, I turn off the phone. I peek through the boarded up window. The first warm rays of the sun are just trying to creep over the horizon. I lie on the cold satin sheets, curl into a fetal position. Soon I will drift into the first fully contented sleep of this incarnation. All is well. My celebration tonight will be glorious.