Happy Dance in a Cast...09:10 Sep 30 2008
Times Read: 763
I love a good conversation... It makes me all dopey and silly and happy and forget how to use proper grammar! I don't even mind Liverpool, or bean-based marmite... I don't mind your nose picking nor your smoking -- well, there I lied. Still, I can get you some sugar-free gum. Seeing you off to bed is the worst part of my day. The longest is waiting to see your face. Without music, I wouldn't feel you next to me whenever I wanted. Synchronically speaking, this is the best dance ever...
Long Days Night...
03:06 Sep 29 2008
Times Read: 779
Utility belts on hotties make me smile -- just a thought...
I just finished yet another interesting convo and the question has to be revisited...
What to do with you? The thought that has been playing in my mind for way too long. I want to gobble you up. Then again, I want to keep throwing your coffee mugs, too. See, thing is, as you already know -- I like to keep myself well-protected. Im not showing my jugular to anyone. Nopers. Yet, you bite my neck all the time. Why is that? *grin*
Having you around is one of my favorite things. I just can't believe it would be anything more than sharing coffee (well, me just taking your coffee as I see fit) and staring at evil, but useful (and when working properly, well appreciated) Skype. Actually, that and sharing music, discussing hearses, mechanics, physics, why Arsenal is superior to Liverpool...
In a way, that makes me feel nice and safe. On the other -- it's NOT good enough. On top of that, I really do not want to be your ghost. In all honesty, it makes me feel like some dirty little secret and I'm sorry, but that isn't what I am worth. That is why you have not been given a GPS. Of course, I wish you had one, but I have to be up front about what the zone change means. So, if the change is just because it's a challenge, then you already no my reaction. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt and then some that you will prove the odds wrong. I don't always want to be right, Chuck.
Make me a believer.
Rant of ALL Rants!
12:29 Sep 27 2008
Times Read: 811
Silly, sad, but true -- I almost got caught up in that sick little web of yours. I am so ashamed, disgusted and thoroughly put out that not only am I reconsidering VR, yet again -- no, to hell with that. I'm not going anywhere! I am too strong for you. Simple as that. I have never been less than an Alpha, and you, my dear and handsome almost-mistake, are not going to have the opportunity to penetrate me. The damage you have inflicted is simple to repair -- see? POOF! I'm over it. Sad, sure... but sadder for those left in your wake rather than myself. I, sir, am and always have been a survivor.
If there were some industrial, yet non-radioactive, cleanser I could use to scrub myself clean of history, I would be sitting in my tub with steel wool until I shredded any memory of having re befriending you.
*laughs* As if I couldn't see this coming a miles away! Hmm, now to find, torture, maim and bury alive the body of the salesman who sold me those rose-colored glasses I used to look at you.
Big Tipper or Little Dipper?19:10 Sep 26 2008
Times Read: 820
Silly, I am. I just tipped a delivery guy a twenty by accident. I meant to hand him a fiver, but was distracted. D'oh! No wonder he took off like the Flash!
I can't be upset, the guy does his deliveries on a bicycle and today it was pissing down. I've no doubt he isn't getting paid much from the diner he works for -- so I consider that my karmic twenty... Not that my last name recently changed to "Trump", but I'm not going to end up eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a month as a result.
Rock on, delivery man! You have won this round -- and good on ya!
Army of one!21:45 Sep 25 2008
Times Read: 838
My grandma is gangsta! LOL I only have her left, as far as grandparents. I'm listening to her on the phone, right now (she is a serious talker)... Somehow, she is always faced with some terrible thing. She's been attacked, she has been discriminated against, survived all the evil within the Civil Rights movement. Anyway...
I've been listening to her for about an hour or so and she has already made me proud by fighting for herself lately. For example, she was walking to the post office (at 89, by herself) when she noticed a man was following her. She changed sides of the street and the guy crossed the street. She changed back to the other side of the street and so did he. Finally, since she said she was "too old, and too tired to be crossing the street more than I need to...", she stopped turned and faced the guy. My grandma is a tiny thing. Still, she eyeballs the guy up and down and says "I'm a church-going woman, when I can make it. What I'm about to say would shock my pastor, but if you keep following me, son, I'm liable to beat you with my cane until the police come!"
Now, see to know her, she would NOT say this. I know she used to fight when she was young (she has eleven brothers and sisters, grew up in the deep south and is black -- of course she fought!). When she came to New York, people never got over on her either and she would be the first to call someone out on it if they did. So, to hear her say she is about to beat someone, who wasn't me!! Totally priceless!!!
Love my "gramma"!!
Fuck Birthdays.23:33 Sep 20 2008
Times Read: 891
Early birthday present for Kourtney -- my best friend dies.
I don't feel anything anymore. If I feel anything, i will lose my mind.
Charles was a great guy! He was a bodyguard for Travis of Blink 182. Their jet crashed last night and went into flames. Everyone died except for Travis and that douche DJ AM.
MY heart is screaming and I can't afford to listen...
I lose everyone. Always. So, what's left to live for? When all I am here for is those that I do love. FUCK THIS. FUCK EVERYTHING. I am so lost... This reads like babble. If I don't get it out somehow, I will snap. Scratch that, I HAVE snapped. I'm only debating whether or not I will be picking up the pieces, this time.
I'm angry, violently destructive... I even took off my cast so I could take out the bike and go jumping. I can't even do that! Chris had to come and get me... well, chase me down and then physically carry me because I probably snapped the healing fracture all over again. I don't even care. I can't feel a thing. Not a single thing. *laughs* Yet, I don't know how not to cry. Y'know, that angry cry? That anguished one where you want to scream until your lungs explode???
I can't get it out. And if I don't, I don't see how I am going to survive.
Fuck this. It's all bullshit.
No! Not my little boy!!!!10:27 Sep 19 2008
Times Read: 916
I am begging! No, I am pleading, please don't let anything be wrong with my little boy, Nicholas!! He is the sweetest little boy you will ever meet and I just noticed he has his limp back. When we adopted him, we were told he had a condition with his rear legs that would require him to take meds for life. For the first couple of years, we adhered to a strict diet and Nicky wasn't a very happy or active little boy.
We took him off his meds to see how he'd handle it, and wouldn;t you know? He became healthier, stronger, happier and not as afraid of his shadow (he is none too bright). He hasn't had meds in over two years with positive results.
Only once, last year when he was near the front door during a snow storm, did I see him begin to limp -- barely walk, in fact! I was so scared, I raced dangerously in my car to get him to a vet. None were open (that i could reach in that storm). I believe it was the cold that effected his joints. He was fine in a couple of days.
Now, the temperature is mild and my boy has a limp. I love him dearly and would hate for him to ever know pain. He had been through enough before he was brought to the animal shelter he was adopted from. *cracks knuckles nervously* I am worried.
Cast, crutches and cat -- I am going to take my little boy to the vet tomorrow.
My Nicholas...
Hurt by the ones you love.06:21 Sep 17 2008
Times Read: 939
I don't cope well with the unknown. You have deserted me and I don't understand, but I would if you would only say as much. Don't friends communicate? We were that, weren't we? We used to chat all the time! About everything and nothing and it was beautiful -- and evidently meant more to me than proclaimed it meaning to you. Why? Why bother leading me down the rabbit hole with you only to cover the entrance with earth and block out the sunlight that was once your face? We've never argued, we have no problems with one another in the slightest. Yet, here I am. Buried alive as the air escapes. Remember telling me you couldn't breathe again until we spoke? I'm just beyond baffled and I don't deserve this. Don't you understand? Can't you see through this thin veneer? There are no lines to read between here -- I could have/ would have loved you forever. How does one go about that now? The walls I'd built were not because I was an architecture major -- no, I emptied quarries of stone to build these walls to stay safe. You have shattered that. Why? To be so hurtful -- and to do it to me? One who wouldn't harm a fly. Has my tough exterior given you the impression that I let it roll off my back and keep on moving? Sweetheart, I think of you every day. I look for you every moment. I hate my weakness. Yet i persist, this search party that will surely lead me to an end that will hurt me. Still, I must know. Please. What happened to us? It's heartbreaking.
Shower Massages23:46 Sep 16 2008
Times Read: 944
After making good use of my new shower massage I flooded the bathroom, today. It may or may not have leaked through to the downstairs unit, but the relief it has provided me was both well needed and worth whatever damages I would ever have to pay.
*sigh* You, who never read a single word in my journal. I both miss and despise you. Despised because I miss you. I know there is more on your plate than anyone can ever hope to devour and I do not wish to be vegetables you won't eat (lol, Im a naughty one), yet, I crave your very presence. I miss our talks. I miss making each other laugh until the other almost vomited. I miss sharing my mind without wonder nor worry of judgement. I have met new people here that I dare call friends. For me, that is exposure I seldom take. Though, I am not naive, I am aware of the few, even fewer will remain in my life. I am thankful for them while they are here, however, I still feel a piece of me is missing. A thread in my tapestry that made me feel all the more vibrant. I wish to speak your name. I miss making you smile. *sigh* And sadly, you will never know. You never visit me in my pages.
S.O.S no K-Y necessary....
03:38 Sep 09 2008
Times Read: 1,002
Orgasms are much harder to achieve with a cast a crutches. Maybe next time, I will use a vibrator and not the crutch.
TAKE THIS EVER-LOVING BITCH OF A CAST OFF ME! (please, I am a bundle of tightly wound hormones and have already noticed the phallic quality of my crutches...)
COMMENTS
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GypsyOfTheGreen
11:08 Sep 30 2008
aww sis ....((hugs ya ))
atyourwindow
15:52 Sep 30 2008
fo shizzle my sizzle lol