Soul Mate19:54 Aug 24 2010
Times Read: 487
Each night – each lonesome night – I look upon the moon, wondering where you are. The one who always read me like an open book; understood all my choices – and the intention behind it.
My soul mate…
You used to be in my life before – I know. I saw you every day. In the water, at the malls, in my room – always looking out on me; watching my every move. You understood me so well that you even moved like me. Like you could see the future or read my thoughts. We were two sides of the same coin – as soul mates should be; we were one…
Later on you grew, as did I. Heh, I remember our first summer job - the one in the greenhouse downtown. It seems so long ago. I remember I always liked to care for plants and work with nature, and this was my dream job. And you where there. God, how I loved you for that. You didn’t even get a job there, and still you came with me. Every single day. You were everything for me. My one true friend. Nay, the only friend I had…
Do you remember the boss at the greenhouse? I know I do. There was something…creepy…about him. Maybe it was because I never saw him during my daytime shift; I don’t know. Nor did I care. He always struck me as the type that didn’t like the day, anyway. And damn, he could scare people!
Do you remember when we came to his office at the end of the summer to collect my paycheck? That dark office of his at the end of the greenhouse; where you didn’t dare to walk inside. That was the only difference between the two of us that I knew: you were afraid of the dark…
And so, I had to go on in alone. I remember, I was actually angry with you for it. I never felt comfortable without you around me. Especially into the boss’ office… He scared me at that time. He snuck up on me, * said he saw a larva on my neck. I didn’t even hear him behind me. I didn’t like the look in his eyes, but presented my neck for him to brush the bug away. Then I remember a sharp sting, then utter darkness…
I don’t know for how long I lay there after blacking out. But when I stumbled out of his office again, you were gone. And I never saw you again.
I searched for you everywhere. It was as if you had deserted me. Like, somehow, I had been cursed to live a life without you; and I did not know why. And all the problems that came with it. For without you, I felt like I was stripped of a part of me. I felt drained, as if I was not myself anymore.
I stopped going outside during daylight hours. I never found the strength to go out and face all the people with all their problems when you were not here beside me. You being there, watching over me was the only thing that could give me the courage to go out there so they could see me and judge me.
I… I started to hate and resent you for abandoning me in that greenhouse without so much as an explanation. Just like that. You left me when I needed you the most.
So, for the first couple of months, I searched for you with revenge in my mind. Each night I would find someone helpless, innocent person, imagine it was you and – and do to them what I wanted to do to you. Rip your throat out, taste your hot blood as life drained away from you; even eat your heart.
Months turned in to years as I continued my search, performing my diabolic revenge each night. Killing you, every night. Years turned to decades. Without you by my side anymore, I didn’t age at all. I stayed exactly as young-looking as I had been when you left me in the greenhouse. I felt as if I couldn’t age when you weren’t there to grow old with me. You were my soul mate. Nay, you were my very soul – that’s how I began to think of you as the decades flew by. You were my soul, and you ran away from me. I couldn’t even cry over it; I never saw any point in crying. I always thought that all the tears in the world would not get you back to me.
Maybe it was because if you leaving me, or perhaps the fact that I couldn’t find you – I started to grow desperate. More and more desperate, I frantically searched for you everywhere.
More days, months, years, even centuries passed and I grew ancient. Gone were the thoughts of revenge and the nightly diabolical revenge-rituals. And still, despite all my efforts, I did not find you anywhere in the world... And believe me – I looked everywhere.
I began to tire. I felt weary of it all, that I had never – not once – even caught a glimpse of you. And in my weary head, I began to toy with the notion that I could move on without you. See daylight again, age – do all the things I felt I couldn’t do without you there anymore.
Each night – each lonesome night – I look upon the moon, wondering where you are. My soul mate. My soul. My one true friend.
But this night is different. I’m standing on my veranda now, wearing nothing but what was given to me by God. I’ve finally decided to let you go. I will face the challenges of tomorrow. I loathe you for not being here with me, but I also feel a profound sadness. I can’t spend eternities looking for you anymore. I long, hunger, for the life I used to have before you left me. But now I must stand here alone, I’m ready… Daylight comes.
And there you were; riding that first ray of sunlight, waking the earth from slumber. So that’s where you hid! How could I have missed it! I’ve spent eternities looking for you in the darkness, when you where here in the light. Two sides of the same coin. God, how I’ve missed you! I see you looking at me again, and we both smile. Tears flow down my chin as all those years of darkness fades away – in that perfect moment when we are reunited.
Then only death…
COMMENTS
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VicereineOfAngels
01:35 Sep 01 2010
Wow! That was an amazing story! I love it!