02:54 Sep 03 2013
Times Read: 590
It's funny, rowing season is full in motion; and I don't miss it.
I have to say it's surprising.
After the fiasco's of the Poker Run (I haven't written about them yet, and I might not. Suffice to say, there was much back stabbing done in a not so subtle manner), I am officially stepping down.
Again, I feel peace about this.
Yet to say these closing of doors is bad, is very short sighted. For rowing, I simply didn't have the time to run a business and coach. It was taking too much from me, and more importantly I couldn't give enough to the athletes. If I were an employee, I could do both, but I'm not- and together it is simply too much to do.
With the Poker Run, the type of event that the group wants requires work from more than just one or two. Right now, the majority want to come day of and volunteer- that isn't going to work. The issues of this year made that abundantly clear. Yes some were assholes, but in general people are well meaning but they simply are not understanding the commitment it requires. To have the bells and whistles takes more than I can give.
Yet I'm already working on a new event. One that is in alignment with my work, and one where I have a few other people like myself wanting to put time and planning in on. I finally feel like things are going in the true direction. Even if some things "fall apart" there is a sense of "keep going, this was where you were supposed to be". Would it be ironic to say Garry was an accidental segue?
Ok. Maybe not accidental, but definitely a segue. Not because of he and I, but because of his attachment to his friends, and their subsequent behaviours to me before and after he died. After a long discussion with a mutual friend who truly loved him, and whom I lived with, I'm feeling better with letting others go. Not in a dramatic way, rather in the strings are no longer attached, and we can come or go as we choose.
Truth is, they are going.
And new people are already here.
I'm grateful for all the help my friends have given, and I'm excited to see what comes of being a part of group of supportive like minded individuals. Because in truth the other aspects, were exhausting. They took away from my ability because of the distraction they required.
Now, I just have to brush up on my book skills for a monster test in October. While I'm truly far behind, I'm not nearly as "scared" as I was a month ago. I still might be a day late and a dollar short, yet that doesn't mean I can't or won't get to where I'm going. It just means I had some pleasant diversions and some difficult lessons to learn.
And I am grateful.
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