Well London now has a Taco del Mar *WOOT* so for my birthday dinner I had my first taste of mexican food since last year.
That is one thing I really miss...
I don't know if I will be able to live through the guilt.
However I did not do this. I did nothing except put my foot down to move forward in my life. So why the emotional blackmail and hurt?
Because the wounds from me she never wanted to think they would come- she thought I would stay and help forever because for her that was the safe thing to do.
Instead of exploring and creating a new life for herself- she is wallowing in broken dreams and pain that slowly kills her from the inside out.
And I am left to watch and hate myself for finding where I want to be. Helpless in my situation to help since the situation here was not as I had arranged.
I hate this. But I will not give up when what I want is inches from me. I have to trust that even in the worst case she does deeply understand my needs, even if she doesn't like it. I have believe that when my situation has fully grown into what I came here for- that I will be able to get her to let go and enjoy... truly enjoy.
She used to have so much joy, and love. Only to be hurt over and over again. Still she did not learn, and these are not my lessons. I am helpless to do anything but hope and pray.
Google the word: Sahahria
Who do you see?
'Nuff said ;)
Deep gravelly voice. Throw some coaching in, and I'm ready for the phone sex lines.
I just need to set up one of those lines where it's $50.00 per call- YES $50.00 just to call. Saw that late last night on TV. Shoot I could SO be raking in the dough. Hmmm may have to be a big adventure in 1-900-HOT-BIDY...
Is only text deep:
COOCH!
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:P
Really I really LIKE pickles, esp wrapped in a piece of ham, turkey or chicken. Hmmmm
I will not suck on them, because the crunch is so much better.
However gherkins can go up the bums of the idiots that think they were wronged in the House Eternal contest.
Hey folks- I was a judge, there were SEVERAL Judges... Heidi went with what they said. Deal with it. Better yet, start your own bleed heart contest that YOU can win.
btw... Morrigon does rock.
Back to my illness and way more sleep than I've had in the past month... and maybe a pickle or two...
Damn, I pushed just a little too much this weekend.
I knew when I woke up with the metallic taste that I should not have coached this am.
4 1/2 hour nap this morning/afternoon, and now I about to go to bed after marketing this afternoon. I just hope I stopped soon enough.
Lesson: Do what I tell others how to do... I know how not to get sick, if only I pause long enough.
G'night.
Welcome sahahria
Your Status:
Sire
Pages Viewed:
307744
Time Spent:
100.00 days
Not as good on all accounts, but still the women did very well. Again, several first place finishes... a couple of 2nd and well the rest were what we thought to begin with.
OH Maverick- RIGHT NOW... his team is in FIRST PLACE!
WOOT... now they just have the final. I hope to post something even better tonight :D
Kay off to eat and then to the painball nationals :D :D :D
So today was the crew's frist races- 1st in every event (at least that I saw) with the multiple entries getting 2nd or 3rd mainly.
Not bad, but for being up from 5am till now- I hurt.... :(
Beddy poop time for me.
Is there anything better in the world? :P
So... me thinks.... O_o
Cancer added to Friends List
Cancer has been added to your Friends List.
What I have seen I do not like.
21:44:49 - Sep 09 2007
Times Read: 12
ADMIN: | EDIT | DELETE |
Many people have treated me with scorn and distaste because I am in Purgatory without asking anything about me. Assumptions have been made that are totally incorrect.
I came to Purgatory because of a friend, to try to make it a better place, because Jamie is a friend of mine. I wanted to walk with her even though I did not make myself known. I tried to bring some light aspects to Purgatory and still follow the Master's wishes for that place.
Instead I found spite, ignorance and malicious behaviour both to this profile and about my person.
You have all shown your true colours, and after you have read this I will delete this profile. If you know me find me on my other profile, but do not expect open arms if you have shown me that you are deceptive.
Don't ask, I won't tell :P
Cancer 02:15:31 Sep 12 2007 Remove
aka=something is rotten in VR HAHAHAHAHAhA
Biddy one: I want to tattoo all the names of the douche bags here on my anus.
Biddy two: I'll spank yer ass!!
Biddy one: So I can wipe them everyday, and the spankings are just BONUS
>:)
It is only love if mutually shared on equal planes, throughout your being.
The shit you pick up is your responsibility.
Cancerlicious... so delicious!
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA thanks muh biddy ♥
Still no photos... *shucks* :P
Perhaps my trust is misplaced. I expect people to hold the same standards of integrity that I do. Those who know and have asked, have been given the answers.
You will never know how much your betrayal hurts, because from this point on I will never trust you. Period.
Next time consider others before yourself, karma can be a bitch.
I wrote this for the halls of Eternal (I fixed my grammar errors that they get to see :P), but it pretty much states how I view the VR status system and how we as people fit in it:
It can be interpreted that we create our own hell. Our words and actions here do matter.
How I see the rave is this:
Real people having real interactions. While here on VR they:
1. Log on
2. Are given a status when they log on
3. Are given powers to go with their status
4. Can have actions performed on them by others with higher status
5. Must follow the rule of the site.
Face it VR is huge place that has many layers. You CAN ignore the game aspect and not participate by just being silent.
Or you can draw attention to yourself by refusing to see that there is an underlining game to everything you do here, and by announcing you will not play.
The way I see what has happened (make no mistake, Jamie is someone I both respect and consider a good friend) is that a persons words are being used to show where their actions do not match their words.
I was one of the first 100 that Jamie did force induct. However we viewed it as a compliment to be chosen. Also, even then I adored the game aspect.
Does that mean I am not a real person?
No, it means that I am aware that my actions here contain many levels and so I have to say what a mean and feel; not just one or the other. Also- I typically will watch to see if what is happening is 1. About me 2. About the game.
I do not see how this hinders VR’s Database purpose. All of us have many real life dualities; some of the more common ones are: Child, spouse, parent. Are you only one of these? Or can you be all three at once?
When you try to ignore the game and only focus on the "real" you miss a vast portion of what make VR so incredibly special and vastly unique.
♥ to morning phone calls from Mom :D
So you think you can just piss all over my things and I'll take it. You think that by tearing things to shreads that mean something to me you are bothering me.
You are so full of yourself with uncalled for arrogence, and still have the audacity to be nice when you want something.
Hear me now: I am SICK OF YOUR BEHAVIOUR. Look out or you will be looking for a new home.
PS-if you are not 1 foot long, 13lbs, covered in Grey fur, and responding to the name Scrapper- this entry is not about you.
No one is out to get you, we are merely doing a VOLUNTEER job. And knowing how many times you have "ooh really, I didn't know" your way out of issues; enough is enough.
You are not different, these ways of "upping status" have been done before, and have always been frowned on.
Get used to the rules folks, at times we have been very patient. Right now I'm done with BS, "time to pay the piper" or be flooded by rats.
By level 17 every member is expected to have read the manual. But because you cry this is the first time here is what I have:
1st sign of not reading-
MysticValentino
Savage (17)
Posts: 12
Levels 25 -28
Posted: 13:49:10 - Sep 05 2007
Times viewed: 85
ADMIN: | EDIT | DELETE | MOVE | OPEN | RIP | RIA |
Do you, or someone you know have an account with levels 25 - 28, that has been inactive or barely active for a good while? Do you want to get rid of it somehow or just wanna kinda leave it on VR for memories? Well now you don't have to.
From today until October. 5, 2007, I will be buying off any account that has been inactive for a while and not wanted by their owners anymore. I know that it's pretty hard to reach these levels, and some people with these levels just don't use Vampirerave.com that much anymore, so I will buy them off for fair prices.
Prices range from 100$ - 500$. These prices are not solid, and can go lower or higher, depending on the conditions me and the owner(s) might or might not agree on.
The level, rate, date joined, and any other history of the account won't matter, as it will all be under new management when and if you decide to sell it.
Please contact me via VR inbox or at blitz.storm@hotmail.com for more information.
**Oh I'm not allowed to buy someone else's membership?**
2nd sign: Reopening a thread to RIP after an RIA was put on it.
3rd sign:
sahahria
Sire (28)
Posts: 715
Re: My First Suicide!
Posted: 14:29:05 - Sep 05 2007
Times viewed: 52
ADMIN: | EDIT | DELETE | MOVE | OPEN | RIP | RIA |
I am reopening this because it is a prime example of how few people read the VR Manual and infact then create their own virtual hell that they feel the only escape from is "virtual suicide".
Do yourself a favor, take a moment and read...(link to manual here)
MysticValentino
Savage (17)
Posts: 12
Re: My First Suicide!
Posted: 14:33:41 - Sep 05 2007
Times viewed: 45
ADMIN: | EDIT | DELETE | MOVE | OPEN | RIP | RIA |
Does Cancer allow this?
Sahahria edit: Please point out the rule broken and I will gladly close this. As it is now there is no VR rule being broken- except personal taste.
4th sign: your journal.
As stated before, ignorance is not an excuse.
I should never see this BS from a level 17, or then have my choice publicly debated when I have put the direct link to the manual page that covers it. Make no mistake, this is why the suspension happened.
*Because you publicly admit your lack of the VR Manual I'm giving you two days to learn it.*
omfg omfg -emo tear-
14:46:37 - Sep 05 2007
Times Read: 12
So the thread I posted is, according to one of the forum admins, against 'VR rules'. I didn't know this....but okay.
So she RIA'd it, and I RIP'd it. Then another admin comes yapping at me all 'If an admin RIA's a thread, do NOT change it'.
I can't change my own thread? wtf? Go get shot.
Do not think you can fool me. Your two faced behaviour is well known to me.
While many don't understand, you aren't meant to. Know this, I watch and stand by what I have said all along.
There are no surprises with me, even when things seem to not add up. Stop ASS=U+ME imagine taking the time to talk someone directly.
Enough said.
So I don't drink much soda... but I dig the Dr.Pepper berries and cream. Best part it was .47 a 2 liter :D
Just have to remind roomie to look for keys by the sink? *Long story- he lost keys- becuase they were placed by the kitchen sink*
This is the version I wore out on my record player. The beat, and still just as haunting as the original more played version.
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