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I want to go home.



But I can't.



And I won't be able to, for years.

So the past two days have been brutal. Not that anything "bad" has happened, just one disappointment after another. The new washer/dryer?



I forgot to (thought my cousin had, and he thought I had) tighten the out spout- so I flooded the clinic, during clinic. Got that cleaned up, realized I bought the wrong hose, bought another, replaced the old... only to find that the dryer wouldn't work. The repair guy came today, only to confirm, it's not the dryer, but the electrical outlet. *sigh* so $50 to him for the visit, and $100+ to the electrician who comes on Tues.



My friend's house warming gift? Showed up in 1,000 pieces. No insurance because they won't insure mail into Canada (because Canadian post is so bad).



My step-father was supposed to go to a junk yard for pieces to my car... would have been 10-20 total. Nope. fucker orders them NEW from Ebay for a 25 year old car.



To say I'm in a bit of a fowl mood is an understatement. I get that these things happen- but all at once? Yeah. I'm watching TV and dealing with the mess of the house tomorrow and Sunday before Mom comes.

Today is day three of my workout routine. I did this work out a few years ago, and after was able to keep things in check with daily yoga, and intermittent weights. This time, I'm starting at home with the goal of ending at home.



Long term plan is to build a home gym with what I need so that I can work out, outdoors or indoors depending on the weather and time of year. I love the socialization I got with yoga, so once I'm "back" I will probably join the local studio to help me meet some people. But first, I have to get back into shape. Nothing from the end of Jan to today, and I'm dragging BIG TIME.



Heck 1/2 of the workouts I'm doing are modified so I 1. keep moving for the entire workout, 2. finish, 3. don't die. LOL the last one is tongue in cheek, but when you're older and your heart rate goes above 170 without being in shape- it is NOT GOOD. And 2 years ago, mine would still hit around 200+ during the harder times of workout. Seems like physiology was partially wrong, not because the "fact of removing 1 beat for every year over 20" but the aspect that I don't think as many people were life long athletes, and that has changed what we know. For the better---



ok time for me to use it or loose it :)



Wait.



I'm gonna use it AND loose it! Heh

Just bought a new(er) washer and dryer for the clinic. Totally excited as it's one of those deals that you simply have to be the first person to respond to get it. Now I just have to sell our current set, by wed. Hopefully it shouldn't be too much of an issue.



OK. So I didn't finish this post as I was contacted by 5 people wanting our washer/dryer set. Sold them and they are gone! That is a huge relief. There still is a ton of things to do, but over all I'm very happy and things are progressing in a manner that has me doing very well.



It doesn't help with the missing my friend though. That is the only thing I hate about all of this.

I have a whole lotta zero desire to do anything, and a whole lotta things to do.



*sigh*

I got in a heated discussion of ACA today, and it hit me...



All politicians who want to pass laws on healthcare must first work as a PSW/CNA for 6 months in a hospice/rehabilitative centre.



Seriously, let them clean the shit. Let them hold a dying patient's hand, who has no family left. Let them see the staggering number of life threatening choices the Dr's and Nurses face EVERY HOUR they work.



Then, and only then... let them pass/write our laws.



Something says we'd have a very different system.

It's becoming abundantly clear.



I would rather be happy, than have money.



Worst part: I don't think I can leave until after my Mother passes (which hopefully will be over a decade).



I have to let this hate of this situation go, not fall into being miserable, but acknowledge that I am- so I can find some "middle ground".



How's that for irony. Suffer, starve and struggle for 7 years because you don't have rights in a country. Return to your country and have everything go "great" and fucking hate it. *sigh*



Some of you will get this, and to you; I'm so sorry. I'm glad there is someone else who "gets" it, but I truly wish I could change it for you.

So we have new accounting software installed and ready to use. Now that it's up, I have the daunting task of trying to rectify the past purchases with current use.



I think I have a way of doing this- but I'm still a bit overwhelmed with it all.



I meet with a relator to get my credit history in line, as that way I can purchase a home at the end of the year- and stop putting equity in someone else's pocket, and start my own. I get that home ownership is a lot, and a lot can go wrong. However long term, if you're like myself who is used to fixing the things or calling someone- it's nice to be able to do them how you want them done.



I'm looking forward to that again. And more space. Living in a round home is great. It does have more space than my last place, however it is lost with the curvature of the walls. This makes it difficult to hang some things, and how to lay things out. In essence it's like living in the same size I had before, but with less functionality- I miss that.



Ok it's going to be a big weekend, we say goodbye to the former owner, and after Tues... it is all just on me. It's exciting and overwhelming... mixed in together.

Today I'm prepping for mother's day. I'm going to walk over to the post office to mail a friend's gift, and then go on the search for some packaging needed.



I also hope to get my bike fixed (the gears are grinding and I didn't notice until I rode it the other day)...



So much to do, and a bit overwhelming- but I asked for this, right?



Yup I did. Now to make it happen. :)

It was a good day, I'm tired and the new volunteer has been trained. This week, a new accounting system is being put into place- which means more challenges, but hopefully gets things moving forward in an easier manner.



We shall see.



Tonight, Hulu with the Originals and paperwork- YAY :P

I could say I would have gone down on you, would that have gotten your attention?



It seems in this day and age we either out live our moments, or let our moments live us.



Meh, time to just live, and if the person is worth it, they will stick around. But if they aren't, cut your losses so you can be present to what is before you.

Having a I hate everything morning.



Hate is too strong a word, but procrastination and not wanting to do anything. Yup, that's me. Right now.