The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

VR Chaos
02:00 Mar 30 2006
Times Read: 1,001

I have been putting a lot of thought into the up heave of House Eternal these past few days. Let me first start out with I am staying and my opinions stated here are not meant to hurt anyone, but are for me to express my thoughts.



When I logged on Saturday evening after a longer absence from VR than is my norm at this point (ha over 16hrs!!) I noticed that I was no longer at the same level I had been. I didn’t read the opening bit as I usually go straight for messages, so I missed Cancer’s announcement. Needless to say I was hurt and confused that Jamie would have removed her mark from me without some sort of message stating why. Not knowing what to think I went to the house, and there I found out first part of the answer- we had a new Mistress, and then I figured that Batchyld had removed marks from those that Jamie had marked and was going through her own process… no biggie, I would wait and see what was happening.



I then went to the house forums and was absolutely APPALED by the behavior of some of my housemates. It seems at the first signs of difficulties they started lashing out, not politely but in a very rude manner. And that caused me to think on several of the things that I have noticed within our House for the past month.



I didn’t consider Eternal home. I loved the house, Jamie and all that she wanted it to stand for. But the special spark that made us really stand out had been missing in my eyes for the past month. People seemed to be shouting “HEY I’m OF THE LIGHT nah nah!” instead of finding balance for the dark within themselves.



While I understand what Jamie meant by too much darkness and needing a light beacon in VR, but one house/person cannot balance out over 6000 members. Plus I think the best way to let your light shine is by embracing and nurturing your darkness as well. That way being light is a choice, not something you do to repress something else. I think what I witnessed in the House was the dark rearing it’s ugly head after being suppressed. Balance is always the key.



Now I am honored to be of some assistance to Batchyld with settling things down and recreating Eternal. However I’m still not certain I will be able to consider it home again. This is in NO WAY stating I don’t think Batchyld is not going to do well. It is stating that I find this system of Cancers flawed. Not intentionally, but I think in the grand scheme of things having Master of the house linked permanently with Administration status is a mistake. Having an Admin in each house is not. But on much reflection, I think it might be an idea to consider allowing a Sire to run the house and “take over” for the Master so that they do not need to be the only “Beacon” as it were. Having a hand picked sire to assist the Master (but to the populace- it is the Sire’s house) would allow for the switch of Administration to not put a house into TOTAL upheaval when someone must relinquish the position. I my opinion it would create a stable basis, and from there the new Admin could work with the Sire to make changes- compromises etc. without there being the feeling of a “major change”.



Thinking of the future, I just don’t know. I have committed to Eternal for the next bit- but long term I really don’ t know if it will be the home it was to me before. It was just so special. I have had thoughts of if/when I make sire, would I do my own coven- chances are good at this point that I would. Details about what I want- well I’m not there yet, but chances are good that it would be a coven dedicated to the healing arts. LOL guess I just want a coven for me to sit around in by my lonesome Hahahahahaha…



I want to end this rant on a positive note:



THANK YOU JAMIE, you have brought so much light it is ridiculous, you should celebrate the magic place that you and all of your hard work created, truly it was my home for several months. I am honored and blessed to have met you. I look forward to our future conversations.

Flattered
08:50 Mar 29 2006
Times Read: 1,003

Kay I have been so flattered by people around here the past few weeks, that I had to return a small favor... so to get here

Welcome sahahria

Your Status:

Incendiary

Pages Viewed:

99999

Time Spent:

35.01 days



I went to Imagesinword's profile :) Share the love folks...



I'll write more soon about my thoughts of this past week.

Insight
06:33 Mar 26 2006
Times Read: 1,019

Am so sleepy I can barely type..... but I realized something today at a wedding.



I am trying to hide from myself. If I don't see what others see I am ok.



I don't want to ever be viewed by just my looks, but it seems to always happen even though there are so many that are prettier, and with better less muscular bodies with perfect perportions.



Desperately I want to be smarter, able to blend, more eloquent, the one that is confident and just DOES things. Not in chaos, but in a planned manner where I can do things from the side lines



Even with that, I seem to stand out. I don't want to waste the talents I have, yet so far have had difficulty accepting them as I stand out more. It seems that I am forever hiding from being in the light, yet in social situations end up going there just to make others feel at ease. It seems that I am my own worst enemy. I could no more not be this way than I could be a toad.



Why is our preception that the grass is always greener? Is it because those might be lessons that we know, and have mastered?





Words that describe what I want in this elemental state

Comfort

Protection

Stability

Organization

Love

Acceptance

Calm

Adventure

Companionship

Partnership

Sometimes I wonder about my sanity...
06:01 Mar 24 2006
Times Read: 1,023

MEH I am sick of candles and wax... 10pm and an hour after my bed time (getting up at 4:30 am) DEAR GOD EARLY =/



Or for the rest of you that translates into Oh dark thirty.

Hmmphhhh
22:35 Mar 22 2006
Times Read: 1,029

So I'm packing getting ready to move, and in doing my taxes- WOW I am doing far better than I thought. Although the fact that insurance companies STOPPED paying me in August has really made it difficult.



Now I am only working with Cash client (one patient is the exception) and I am now almost to the full amounts I was seeing with insurance payments. Less than 7 months and I'm back to where I was before and my heart isn't here anymore.



Such a pitty, as I really hate growing a business- but overall my numbers show me to be well a head of the rest of the pack. Who knew? I guess I sell myself far short- well, lesson learned am stepping into new things... let's see where it leads.

I need a treatment!
15:59 Mar 22 2006
Times Read: 1,032

After reading Khayman's journal yesterday- I totally understand where/why she killed her records. I used to be the same- the only other time I've kept a written record, it seemed to consume my obsession with training... to the point I did some major damage to my body.



This time it's not so bad. I'm sitting here typing with a heart rate between 62-69. Need to get in better shape as it's going all over the place. That or I REALLY need some acupuncture as I'm starting to get anxious again.



Is it because of move-life- work? Probably ALL.. but a few treatments and typically I'm much better. Calm.. I really need a vacation!

We all should Laugh More!!
02:01 Mar 22 2006
Times Read: 1,033

A man is playing golf when a stranger approaches and watches him hit and miss his easy shot.



The stranger asks the man, "So is it worth 1/4 of your sex drive to make the next hole?"



The man looks carefully at the stranger, and reply's "sure it is".



The man takes his swing and makes the shot. "Thanks, that just improved my average,” the man says.



Well the stranger watches the man miss his par on the next two holes and asks the man again if it's worth a 1/4 of his sex drive to make the next hole.



The man this time eagerly agrees, and again he hits a hole in one.



Finally the man approaches the 18th hole, and he is just about to be below his par, a record for him! And the stranger approaches one last time. "Is it worth the REST of your sex drive to make this next hole?" the stranger asks.



The man looks very serious for a moment then slowly nods, "yes it is".



Again the man hits a hole in one and is very ecstatic and goes to shake the stranger's hand. " Thank you, thank you so very much!"



The stranger looks at the man and very seriously states, "Don't thank me yet, I have yet to introduce myself. I'm Satan."



The man looks at Satan, grabs his hand, "Oh, it's a true pleasure, I'm Father O'Malley!"

zzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz
05:48 Mar 21 2006
Times Read: 1,036

what?! *looks around in sleepy manner* you still here? hmmmph... kay, just don't hog the covers... esp the fuzzy one, that's my favorite. zzzzzzz

Friends
07:35 Mar 19 2006
Times Read: 1,039

The part of growing up that no one tells you, is that it sucks when you hit the age where everyone you know is married. Not because you need to be married (those who know me, know that this is not something that is high on my priorities) but because your best friend now has another. This is as it should be- but being the odd one out sucks.



I miss that close communication, more than anything else. Up until a couple of years ago it wasn’t bad, but recently I wonder if I will be blessed with a close friend, more than just a lover, a companion and friend. That would indeed be a blessing.



However blue is a great eye colour and not so great for skin, so tonight I will continue to reminisce on old times, the fun and friendships as they were, not what they have grown into today.

Luck of the Irish to you!
16:29 Mar 17 2006
Times Read: 1,046




***********************

Here's to lying, stealing, and cheating!

May you lie to save a friend;

May you steal the heart of the one you love;

and may you cheat death.



***********************

On 16:10:25 Mar 17 2006 sapphire wrote:



lol...Irishman to bar maid.."do you have any irish in ya?"

barmaid,"no"

Irishman..."would you like some?"



On 16:20:03 Mar 17 2006 sahahria wrote:



An Irishman, Englishman and Scot all sit at the bar for a guiness.



At the EXACT same time three flies land in each of the beers.



The Englishman grossed out pushes his beer away and asks the bar for another.



The Scottman, picks up the fly and then drinks his beer.



The Irishman picks up the fly and starts screaming, "SPIT IT OUT, spit it out you BASTARD!"

*******************************



May you live as long as you want,

And never want as long as you live.

AHHHHHH Chuck Norris....Is no where safe?!
17:35 Mar 16 2006
Times Read: 1,054

sahahria[9:30:40 AM]: I just messaged the tread to Daire...



sahahria [9:30:54 AM]: Much nicer message than the last one I sent



sahahria [9:31:13 AM]: "see what evil you have brought to the forum" with the link....



lady_morticia04 [9:31:19 AM]: lol



sahahria [9:32:02 AM]: I don't dare send it to Cancer... then it would REALLY be on... Daire can only last a little bit before distracted... Cancer can go for hours....



lady_morticia04 [9:32:17 AM]: lol



lady_morticia04 [9:32:20 AM]: yes he can lol



sahahria [9:32:25 AM]: As we both have witnessed O.O

What does it mean
06:36 Mar 16 2006
Times Read: 1,059

I am at a loss as to what is happening these days.



A young girl that I know from infancy was just arrested for rape of a minor. She is now 23 and the boy is 16. In WA state the age of consent is 16- so the charges are being brought up because the age difference is more than 4 years (if you are under 18, your age must be within 4 years of the person you are with).



Knowing her and her entire family I am at a total loss- of what to think, what to do, what to feel. She was always the "Bright one" the one who seemed to have a life that others wanted. Her light shined and shined brightly. And my mother, a good friend of her mother is devastated- she was hysterical when she called me to let me know it was on the news.



Such a waste, considering I dated a 24 year old just shy of my 18th birthday. Now my mother wouldn't have pressed charges, and it is unknown at this time if it is the parents or the school that brought this out. How's that for a stupid mistake that will forever change this girl's life? It is /was so easy to judge this situation when it wasn't across the street- now I am left with only the ability to pray for her and the families involved that all can get the healing they need.

AHHHHH make the bad man go BYE BYE
18:22 Mar 15 2006
Times Read: 1,062

Namely the bad tax man... HOW THE HELL did I end up with SO many reciepts? MEH... almost done- why is it SO difficult to finish...



Probably because I still have to pay. =/

Hahahahaha!
06:15 Mar 14 2006
Times Read: 1,069

http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/badger.html



A good laugh before bed....

Oh My Gawd... I'm a blonde!
06:54 Mar 12 2006
Times Read: 1,083

pe·dan·tic

adj.

Characterized by a narrow, often ostentatious concern for book learning and formal rules: a pedantic attention to details



So I believe in the rules, not in favoritism to break said rules. I view rules as helping create a comfortable place to reside, meet people and generally goof off. While there are parts of being on the internet that I take seriously – typically I am here to play.



Seems that there are those here who feel that in order to receive justice, they may break any rule they see fit- all in the name of “I’m right damn it”.



Well, maybe you are- really I could give a rat’s ass. However be creative and do your damages in a way that doesn’t break the governing ideals here. There are those at play who you are interrupting, and corrupting their fun.



Am I weak for this, you choose. My integrity for what I believe remains intact.



Do I fear? I’m just a girl and while I’m weak and unable to care for myself, I also need people to tell me what to do and think. If this is what you believe fine, all the better for me.



But what does an ignorant person such as myself know? I from your own words do not understand all of this. I am watching and waiting… after all I am blonde with an IQ of 60.

Cats do the Darnedest things
17:39 Mar 09 2006
Times Read: 1,088

So I'm watching a little TV while checking emails this am and my cat comes over and changes the TV station to an animal show (Spazz if you look in portfolio).



20 min go by and I'm now reading journals, and Barney of all things comes on (mind you it's just backround noise to me) and they start singing a song about FIREFIGHTERS lmao



YAY good kitty :P Heh heh time to get to work.

FIREMEN!! YAY
16:30 Mar 06 2006
Times Read: 1,092

Well, what can I say 1,200 firemen have just exhausted me! WHEW...Check out the link these fire fighters worked their BUTTS off, and for a wonderful cause!



Link to articles about the climb:

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/261829_stairclimb06.html

Or

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/eastsidenews/2002843455_grin04e.html



I was there from 8 am yesterday and I left at about 4:00 pm after taking only 2 breaks. The reason- 1 LMP no show and just not enough time to fill the shifts =/





Thank god for the other therapists who showed up, and who have offered to help get us more for next year! Planning this year’s event was a bit of a fiasco- but thanks to the WONDERFUL volunteer LMP's we will have an even better year next!



Now to finish planning the event on the 19th! Whoo-hoo! The few photos I took will be in my Portfolio soon :D