The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Count down starts now... next monday I will have access 24/7... yay... *rubs hands together* what ever should I do first???

I have been a bit sad for the past day. I found out last night that one of my yoga instructors was killed on Tuesday am. In cleaning my mailbox I found an email from him sent not even a week ago.



While the sudden passing is tragic, I can't help but be so grateful for the brief time I knew him- and in our conversations after class, to know that he had followed his passion in life and in fact was a stellar example of how we should live.



To give you a bit more information, he was a dentist that while making good money- found that he was exceedingly unhappy. So he left his work, and trained to become a yoga instructor. While times were rough for him (it was one of our conversations) he simply radiated light and love to everyone he met. He was eager to learn, and so caring it would seem fake had it come from any lesser of a person.



His example is one I hope to follow, no matter how little I see. Had he known he was in the last months of his life- I don't think he would have done anything differently. He daily expressed his love and gratitude to everyone he encountered.



How different and amazing is that compared to the pain most people express?



Calvin, Namaste- your light was not extinguished, it was merely transformed.

I



Have



A



New



Bike :D



wooh! The bike I started to pay for at the end of last summer has been paid off. Tomorrow I pay off most of what I owe my lawyer and then the next order of "doing" is to get the car fixed.



Add to the mix that my router came in the mail (still have to wait for the set up of that on July 5th) and then I'll be back to my normal online self.



Finally ordered the bikini I've been lusting after- and well, it's a good thing as I promised myself if I were able to be comfortable in one- after the work I've done- I would allow myself to buy one that I want.



Right now- I want a nap because I'm suffering from gyros coma... zzzzzz such good tasty food but way too much bread/meat... *drools* zzzzz

Cost of entry: $10



Funds raised so far: $600+



Mortifying Brother with Facebook Photo: Priceless!



GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH MONEY!



Honestly am overwhelmed with gratitude and awe by how amazingly my friends have been on this brief fundraising journey.



No amount is too small- it is the intent behind even the well wish that is a blessing. For those that want to, there is still time to sponsor me, for those that can send their positive energy- it is appriciated.



Most of you remember how I trained so hard in the hopes of making the US national rowing team. Some of you witnessed my victories and defeats as I attempted to take my body beyond where I thought I could. What many people don’t know is that my coach Emil lost his fight with cancer the month that his life goal/dream was to be achieved. He was singly one of the biggest influences on my adult life. It was not in his perfection- but in the standards he had me rise to, as well as the challenges he put in front of me on a daily basis. I learned from him that there is no perfection- and in fact the Olympics is one race, every four years. What that meant was that more than talent and ability would have to get you there- in ways that at times I still only comprehend and don’t fully understand.



At the same time, he encouraged my tenacious spirit to rise above and beyond what I thought possible. I still vividly remember sitting down with him in January of 2007 another hopeful, wondering what I could possibly do. I remember balking when he told me I would have to buy a boat, and more importantly I would have to find a job where I wasn’t on my feet. What he said has shaped my life since that very moment- and in many ways is how I live to this very day:



“If you want something bad enough, you will find a way to make it happen.”



Then, I thought he was crazy, wrong and didn’t understand the difficulties I was facing. December of 2007 my new boat arrived in Seattle- after I had purchased it that September. I also had found a new job that April at Group Health Hospital another shaping stone of what my life has become. Had any of these things not happened, I would not be an Acupuncturist- I would not be living in Canada, and I would not have found my life as I want to live it.



To say that his words were profound is an understatement. His words have become my life. So when Emil lost his battle with cancer before the 2008 Olympics, to say I was heartbroken is another understatement. Knowing what his dream was, and knowing the horrible timing of his demise, was one of the first times my eyes were fully opened to the horrors that face those that live, fight and survive this disease.



That is why I am being a “pain in the arse” for this relay. I watched someone give up their dream because of illness, and if it is at all in my power- I would not see anyone else ever have to make such a sacrifice. So I will leave you with a small remembrance of the good times with Emil. When I joined his sculling team, I was one of only four women and several men. We were at a team dinner when one of the boys decided to tease Emil.



“Hey watch this,” he whispered to us, as he blew air into an empty snickers candy wrapper. “Emil, I don’t want this candy, do you?”



In his accent, “Oh yes!” he responded grabbing the empty wrapper, “oh motherfucker!” to much laughter after.



I will always remember his broken English, how at times his workouts seemed to break me, and most important- I will continue to live based off of what is important to me.

I'm absolutely humbled by the response my friends have done for the relay I'm doing- as well as all the messages about people I forgot. There is still time to support a good cause if you choose to- link is in previous journal entry. While I've hit the goal originally set- I don't see why I shouldn't change it to 500.00... stranger things have happened. ;)



Honestly I've had too many people get sick in the past few months- not to mention throughout my life. I am surprised at how much our society has just "accepted" that this disease is so rampant.



And I am very guilty of this too.



I simply didn't realize until it hit too close- and then I started to truly see how many people I love have died, been sick, or are fighting this horrid thing. It is easily 40% of those I love. The more I think about it, the more wrong this is. How did we get to this point? Perhaps it is the speed at which we live- where consumerism simply took over because we didn't pay attention or whatever...



The reason simply doesn't matter- but moving towards conscious thought and living to prevent when we can, and then treat with compassion when we have to- is worth doing.



I have a "partner" in crime who I'm looking forward to working with a project on for this, while it won't be ready for this event- It will be up and running soon, as this project is something I think is worth doing and is a bit off the norm of what is out there... planning still has to be done and well brainstorming for fun things!



And yet, knowing that I'm doing this fun stuff while a friend is in chemo as I write this simply breaks my heart.

http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_ON_even_?px=3502097&pg=personal&fr_id=5723&fl=en_CA&s_tafId=120767



Ok guys, ya'll know me, and know that I'm a sucker for a good cause. However in light of how extremely cancer has been affecting my life in the past year- I am now officially taking offense to this disease.



Many of you may not realize that a woman I worked with in Seattle died this past October from Cervical cancer- she was only 32 years old. The minister who helped my family when my grandfather died, passed away just a few months ago. My former room-mate had a reoccurrence of cancer in December and still is recovering from her most recent battle, while a close friend of mine is currently fighting for their life.



That is just how I've been touched by this disease since October 2009… Eight months.



I know many of you understand my typical stance of prevention is the #1 way to deal with any disease- but think about what cancer is: it is the body's inability to recognize damaged cells and remove them from our system. What is worse, the body then treats these cells as if they are "self" and feeds them. Talk about the simplest miscommunication- that has the most profound effect on our life.



Yes, I still believe in prevention- but what about those I love and care for, that this is not an option for? We must still find new ways of treatment, and new ways of caring for those who find themselves unable to prevent.



What I am asking is if everyone donates what they would normally spend on Lunch, I will very quickly reach my $300 goal. That is why I ask for your lunch money- it is a small amount, and really- I think everyone of us could forgo a meal out for such a worthy cause.



If times are tight for you, then donate what you would spend on coffee. Just one coffee- and you are making a difference as we try to find the solution to something that will touch each one of us at some point in our lives.



So what do I have to do? Beg?



Not really my style... Click on the link on my facebook profile, that is the easiest way to donate.



I will leave you with the last words my friend sent to me (forgive the instant messaging speak, and I did remove some of her more private details), and I pray you never have this type of conversation ever. Below my friends words you will find the "form" letter from the organization with more information on the event I participate in this Friday... so give a girl a break, and help her make a difference.



Namaste ~A



Happy: Hi

Me: YAY Hello :)

How are you doing?

6:11 PM Happy: I don't think I'm going to make it

Progression to my lungs and kidney

Partial collapsed middle right lobe

6:12 PM Radiation may be next but if not hospice care

Me: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that- when did you find out?

6:13 PM Happy: Friday

Me: :(

I am so very sorry. How are you coping with the news?

Happy: I know, bummer

So long as I get to travel some I am ok with it

6:14 PM me: :)

Happy: I put up a good fight

Me: Travelling is AWESOME

Yes and it sounds like you're planning on going down fighting

Happy: Yeah

6:15 PM I’ll be happy with another 6 months

Me: Good, that I'm glad to hear.

Happy: Honestly, would rather not live 10 years with cancer

6:23 PM People react to cancer in some very strange ways

It’s bizarre

Me: Well it is scary as it is something every person does

6:24 PM cell regrowth- only the cells don't stop

so technically every person alive has the potential for Cancer.

and we have no control

Happy: 1 in 3 people are diagnosed since the turn of the century

Me: yup and that number is growing since we can detect it so much easier.

6:27 PM Happy: My chances are grim but miracles happen everyday

Me: Indeed they do

In some ways each day is a miracle that we all take advantage of in some way

6:28 PM Happy: No more chemo as it will only add days to my duration

Radiation could be an option. I find out tomorrow

6:29 PM me: Just keep fighting as long as you love doing it

Happy: Otherwise, I'm going back to tx and travelling as much as I can

It sucks actually

6:30 PM me: I can only imagine

How hard it is on every level

Happy: It’s no way to live. I've spent countless hours trying

Me: Yes, that I'm certain of

6:31 PM grace and grit- have you read it?

Happy: By doing so I've missed out on so much

No

6:32 PM me: It's written by Ken Wilber and his wife who lost her battle- but there might be some comforting words in it for you

Happy: Maybe I’ll check it out

Me: it's quite a powerful book

6:33 PM as at one point they knew there would be no more treatments for her

And well it mirrors some of what you are looking at

if nothing else I would hope it would give you fresh outlook to determine what is right for you

6:34 PM Happy: :)

6:35 PM Thanks.

Me: That's the hardest part isn't it? Trying to determine what is right?

I know I struggle with it daily

and I don't have a reason such as yours to have it weigh on me

Happy: Yes. And learning the ugly truth behind our cancer industry doesn't help

6:36 PM me: No, sadly the truth about most of our healthcare anywhere is like that.

6:37 PM But that is not you or your treatment- don't forget that

Happy: I've met some amazing survivors and they are proof that miracles do happen

Me: and when you have to, remind your healthcare workers of that

the truth is there is a body/mind/spirit connection we simply don't know

and when we do what is right for us, we walk closer to what heals us on all levels

Sometimes that includes the physical

6:38 PM Happy: A man had kidney cancer predicted to die in 6 months

6:39 PM Happy: He ended up in hospital. His kidneys bed out 3 three times

Happy: When he woke up the doctors were amazed that his cancer vanished

Happy: That happened here in Seattle 3 years ago

Me: That we breathe each day is one

and look for the beauty when it is ugly

6:41 PM because what we focus on is what we inspire

Happy: True

6:42 PM My chances may be slim but I deserve a happy ending

6:43 PM me: Exactly :)

6:44 PM even if you make it yourself :)

Happy: I got a call. I will keep you posted and thanks for sharing the positive with me. I'm blessed to have met you :)

Me: As am I, most definitely am I

6:45 PM and I expect a visit if you travel :)

Happy: I would love that



Want to be part of a community that takes up the fight? Help me support the fight against cancer by pledging me for my participation in the Canadian Cancer Society Relay For Life.



The Canadian Cancer Society Relay For Life is an overnight non-competitive relay that celebrates cancer survivors and pays tribute to the lives of loved ones. It involves teams of 10 people who take turns walking, running or strolling around a track to raise money to support the work of the Canadian Cancer Society. It's a night of fun, friendship and fundraising to beat cancer.



Funds raised through Relay For Life make a difference. They help the Canadian Cancer Society fund the most promising research projects in the country, provide information services and support programs in the community and advocate for public policies that prevent cancer and help those living with it. You can help make cancer history by pledging my participation in Relay For Life. It's easier than ever - just click the link at the bottom of this message to view my personal page and look for the blue button to support me in this event. Online pledging is secure and it saves the Society money by reducing administrative costs. No amount is too small, or too big.





http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_ON_even_?px=3502097&pg=personal&fr_id=5723&fl=en_CA&s_tafId=120767

July 8th will not come soon enough...



I FINALLY will be getting internet at home *woo*



but the best part is, there is no use max, no time limits and it will be 7mbpm, and it's only 15 more a month... YAY



but seriously... I want it now... now now now!



*pout*



Tis ok, I get my couch tomorrow night... ahhhhh fluffy leather goodness.... soon to hold me and my laptop on the late summer nights :P



heh ok now I'm just silly as I'm waiting for my last client of the night... tic-tock... me wanna go home.



o.O



I go now.



Bye-bye!

I wish I had something profound to say... I wish that I were more... but for the moment I will walk home and just be... *bliss*

YAY!



I am now the proud owner of a message box, that has only 2 messages in it... yes that is correct- TWO!



*whew* that took a while to get done... let's see if I can get it down to ZERO



:D