The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Am I the only one?



There is no good reason

I should have to be so alone

I'm smothered by this emptiness

Lord, I wish I was made of stone

Like a fool I lent my soul to love

And it paid me back in change

God help me, am I the only one

Who's ever felt this way?

A heart that's worn and weathered

Would know better than to fight

But I wore mine like a weapon

Played out love like a crime

And it wrung me out and strung me out

And it hung years on my face



God help me, am I the only

Who's ever felt this way?

Now my sense of humor needs a break

I see a shadow in the mirror

And she's laughin' through her tears

One more smile's all I can fake

There is a wound inside me

And it's bleeding like a flood

There are times when I see a light ahead

Hope is not enough

As another night surrounds me

And it pounds me like a wave

God help me, am I the only one

Who's ever felt this way?



~ Dixie Chicks

I always though it would be you first.

Never love anything so much you cannot see it die

I can not express how much your voice of reason and understanding have meant.



So many comprehend what I am saying, but you understand :D



You seem to help me understand what I've learned and that is the most Yummy bit of all :D



♥ ♥ ♥Cheers to the YummyBratQueen ♥ ♥ ♥

I don't know what has changed.



As I seem to have been sharing more than I intend to. My mouth does that, at the right times... if I trust, I will tell all. Sometimes more.



Fool.



When I just need to do things and I still do not feel up to the task.



Hide.



Somewhere warm, calm and dark. Even chaos needs rest. Enveloping warmth, rhythmic pulsation, breath.



Soon.

Daire and Flannery make me want to barf ;)







Awwww too CUTE! ♥







Yep I think I’ll be sick for another week… and Daire… SHUT it about the comment about me being sick to begin with….



:D

U N G U E S S A B L E



WINNER!

It was my childhood question.



But what if?



I wanted to know the possibilities, potentials, how, why, could I change it, if I could how would it look? Would I change in the process, or would things go on the same-o same-o?



I find myself in that childish space again, where I want to know. I used to drive everyone around me CRAZY with that question. There seems to be infinite answers that fascinate me. So again I find myself asking,



What if Mr.D? What if…

The summer of 1990 is etched in my brain. It was perhaps the only other time I felt that someone had truly gotten under, near to my core. Funny how quickly it all unravels, reality of the truth of me makes itself known. My intent was to never feel that strongly again. Ironic that it should happen 16 years latter during the same time of year, and that my realization has been almost to the date of the previous. History repeats itself.



April 14

April 26



Each Day a different man who has in their own ways pushed me further to who I am to be. At this juncture I don’t know if either will ever truly understand or care, not that it would matter. I saw this day months ago, spoke and joked about it. Perhaps you were correct, you did not hurt me. I hurt myself. The lesson will be learned; better means will be done to distract me from that which is unattainable.



For now I will listen to the music of the summer of 1990 and remember our time in the woods, we were young, carefree and with the world literally at our feet. The nightly campfires, his guitar and our singing songs he had written or silly camp ones. I think that was the last summer I sang and felt it. When we travelled or at night as we lay under the stars, James Taylor would ease us into the night. Several tapes and CD’s later this album is still my remembrance, it takes me right back and I remember the man with a scar. My friend.



In my mind I’m going to Carolina, can you see the sunshine, can’t you just feel the moon shining?

It seems that yet again I am to be made a fool of. I have put myself out further than I intended or said that I would. The worst part of it, I will continue to do so even though it will make me out to be an ass.



I would feel like I was missing a very important connection, worse a very good friend. If I am truly honest, more than that.



The train wreck seems inevitable, and my compulsions push me forward, right through it. One more bend to my consciousness that my God deems necessary. When will I have been put through enough? I know I should not question, and here in my pain it is all I can do, ask why is it needed for me to feel?



It would be far easier if I could keep my walls and hiding, why must I willingly expose myself to ones that will just leave me in more hurt? I would not wish this kind of pain on an enemy.



I fear. I love.



Still I fight; it cannot be real if not reciprocated.



I know. I remember.



And I still find myself walking forward; I cannot leave my path. This is the irony. I have followed blindly in past; gone with the tossing and turns, this time it is my choice.

Those of you who have placed orders with me in the last month know that I am REALLY behind... I have this weekend set while I do my yard sale to make candles and then finish ALL outstanding orders this Sunday. HOLY CRIPES!



3 more wholesale orders this am. Hmmm why is it when you leave everyone wants you to stay? OK... I can do this... I need the money :P



BREATHE.



I might even make a certain person bath salts with lavendar EO and a real Vanilla bean... see if that makes the senses go into overdrive, esp since I think she's only smelt them with Fragrances. ;)



Then the Yummy one needs her sage and Amber. Hmmm creative things... I can't wait to finish!



Someone else I know whats a pillow with herbs... and I think I know just the blend.... Once I finish these outstanding orders... a break until December.



Once I've moved... I am making ~MY~ Red Vinal corest... with this fabric.







It has been years since I spent time making something for me as typically I am in BIG rush... :) I can't wait!

I am SO sunburned :(



But I sold over 200 yards of fabric this weekend and made over 450 :D :D :D



So very sleepy... darn sunburn :(

Last night was tiki... this year's theme was Kong, so everything was bananas... literally they were everywhere. Reason being, the big contest was for a jade necklace the woman with the most bananas wins... need less to say women had them EVERYWHERE. The winer kept her bananas in a bag ;)



Good times, drank way too much and of course have woken up a 4am. No one is here, and well I'm still buzzed and now wanting to chat. lol damn booze made me pass out, but I feel more rested than I have in many many weeks.



I hate to think this is my last tiki party, as I love each and everyone of these folks. They make me bananas.

Imagesinwords just reminded me with her journal entry about the death of Elvis. This brought back one of my childhood memories... where I as asleep in my room, surrounded by my pink gingham canopy bed.



My mother came in crying. "Elvis is dead".



"So, who was he?" was all I could ask, upset by her intense emotion.



She then explained who he was so I would know (I was only 5 at the time although I would have told you then I was 5 and 3/4 thankyouvery much).



Funny how in a world I grew up in, these role models meant something - that affected people in the real world. Now meaning is no longer given enough significance, and self is more than community.



We have become cynical in our daily approach and lives. Even our entertainment is changed to reflect this. How much more will we loose before we are willing to stand up, and change?

Some of you have wondered what on earth could be taking so long with prepping the rental house so here is the list and what it looks like as of this moment.



The rental has squirrels nesting in the attic, we must get rid of the critters and then have the roof repaired from their damage. Guy comes Wed to start this.



Holes all over (thanks to Flan for helping me spackle).



All walls need to be washed as they were spot cleaned, not fully cleaned.



Floors need to be washed and waxed.



A ruined kitchen floor (new one was installed earlier this week).



A rusted main floor sink and a slow leak on the water turn on knob. Unfortunately this was not found until we put the new kitchen floor on... and we may have to do major plumbing. Tues next week.



Needs new carpet (it was old). That will occur next weekend.



Rusted windows (12 of these) due to years of neglect both from renters and previous person who was working on it. I have been painting these for the past 4 days. The problem is they have to be painted inside and out. I will finish tomorrow and then I need to scrape and make them "pretty" plus wash all windows.



Dog shit needs to be picked up.



Cigarette butts need to be cleaned up as they left them EVERYWHERE outside (the house was supposed to be NO SMOKING).



Weeding needs to be done as they mowed but did not maintain this part of it.



New back porch light needs to be installed.



New electrical box is needed.



The inside needs new paint. I will do this in the next few days.



I'm sure there is more that I am forgetting but this is the short of just the rental. So far I've put about 60 hours since last week making phone calls, getting supplies and doing the work. It will get done... how sane I am well that remains to be seen ;)



WHEEE painting.... thank god for small favors (I took today off to do play things PLUS get paperwork done).

I have briefly mentioned before that I get depressed around my birthday. Take no heed of what I am saying as it is just my emotional out put. This is my journal and well I need to just let some of these emotions out.



Today I cried while I was painting. More than I have in a long time, as I realized that there is nothing more important to me than family. So why am I moving from what I believe will be my only sense of this?



It is the dream I had as a youth, of twins. One with lighter hair, one with dark, together standing laughing in play in an area I can’t describe. A town of some sort, one that I have never seen, nor could I describe. At one point I changed my career path to follow this dream. I had other reasons as well. I felt stupid in theatre, I was good at it and it was so much fun- but I was not challenged. I then trained for the Olympics, during this time I felt if you can believe it even more off balance as my life was physical out put only. I need mental stimulation. It is what makes me tick. I am far more turned on by someone smarter than I, then by someone of what I consider physical beauty. I still demand both.



Each time I changed my life in search of these twins, and at each turn it becomes more abundantly clear. This was not for me. It must have been the path I choose at 18, had I gone that route; I would have had that as the outcome. Thirty-five, next month and truthfully I doubt at this point I will ever fulfil this dream of a family. At one point I thought I would adopt. Now with the financial repercussions of my mother’s divorce I doubt that as well.



He won. He effectively made it so that I will never desire what I can have, I will be bitter and afraid of what is offered. As my mother stated, so am I. I do not want what would find me attractive. And the truth is, now I question if I want children. To be a mother even in 5 years would mean I would be almost 60 when they graduate just from high school. In some way I wish I had different standards. I wish I could compromise, not be who and what I am.



But that is not my reality. So at this juncture I continue to work non stop so maybe I can go somewhere to be for a little. Maybe in the quiet I will find acceptance of what I want but cannot have. Right before Ann died, I remember having lunch with her, and feeling that something somewhere had gone wrong, dreadfully wrong. I think it was then that my dream died. For since that time I have had glimpses, but have not fully felt his presence since. Northeast seemed to be the call, but now I don’t hear it.

Lesang87

now, down to business. i was promised sex when i entered this conversation. i signed a damn contract! just ask godfrey. he's out front



Requiem

remember the babe



Sahahria

YAY



Requiem

i remember no sex for YOU in the contract.

specifically.



Sahahria

Yes

you must watch



Requiem

just lots of promises and torments.



Sahahria

not touch anything



Requiem

it says so right here



Sahahria

even self

see



Requiem

*points*

*writes odd facts in*

and you must wear a raccoon suit



Sahahria

NICE



Lesang87

i refuse



Requiem

:-l



Sahahria

although I'm partial to spots my self



Requiem

but then where are we going to put the bottle rockets?



Lesang87

i want to wear my assless chaps!



Requiem

oh

ok



Sahahria

can we change that to leopard?



Requiem

now I know where to put the bottle rockets.



Lesang87

no



Requiem

:-l



Lesang87

leopard bodypaint



Sahahria

=))



Lesang87

lol



Sahahria

in assless chaps with bottle rockets



Lesang87

Yes



Requiem

in very deed. :)

you know

YAY



Yummy



Hmmmm



Stabb has gone all Eternal on us



♥

Ok like I titled this I am going to rant….



I am SICK of people insinuating that because my move is/has taken more than 8 months to complete that is not going to occur.



1. I have paid first and last month rent for the place that Maverick has found (if this falls through, he knows that we will both be staying at his parents- HA!) Papers have been signed folks.



2. I have also paid rent for the space that I am going to be working.



3. I have paid 2500 to a lawyer to process my status for a work permit



4. 1 paid 500 for a required Health Exam that HAD to be processed by the Canadian government BEFORE my work visa would be approved.



5. I SOLD my practice here in Seattle and passed on all my coaching to other people. I have no job here.



6. My mother’s rental was left in horrid repair by the last tenants that moved out Aug 3rd.



7. My house still needs to be packed and cleaned. Don’t believe me about the houses? Ask Flannery- she’s been to both and helped me spackle at the rental.



Just so there is not mistake, when I move I will have little to NO money left over. MY MOTHER will be assisting me. Right now she CAN NOT do that with no rental income as the mortgage takes all her extra money. By my painting/cleaning both the rental and my house, I put us into a different financial situation. It does not change that there is close to 8,000 in taxes that she will have to pay in October.



If I am to move and not end up homeless, I MUST finish here in an honourable way. I will not put my family estate (yes it is meagre but still an estate) in jeopardy because I want to move. By doing that I would hurt my mother, brother and my self financially.



I could give a RATS ass if you understand. This is MY life and I will not leave a mess. I will leave Seattle in a better place than when I arrived. HOWEVER long that takes. Grow up, understand that my situation is not ruled by me at the moment but commitments I made and will be damned if I don’t live up to. I will get to Canada when I get there. Currently it looks very promising for the 1st of Sept, but if something else goes wrong it may be longer. Simple as that, unless you plan on paying my bills when I don’t have enough or buying my pet food, gas, etc – then SHUT it.



/rant

What is the relevance of one foot?



About $429.00 is what.



My piece of flooring is exactly one foot too short to use, so now I must go look at flooring and take pictures so my mother can choose the new one by 5pm tonight. Damn.



Good news is that there will be a new floor in the rental tomorrow. :)



The dinning room window is almost fully painted, 6 more to go! YAY me!

Ok so everyone keeps asking, and I think it will be easier to write this all down once.



The move now occurs the last week of August. See it is REALLY difficult finding a place that will take 4, yes FOUR animals. Making it worse is the problems that PitBull owners have created in Ontario (no the breed- poor ownership). Basically since the laws in Canada are done in a certain way, in order to prevent potential problems with that breed- ALL dogs are not welcome in places.



I have 2 dogs and am not willing to move without them. Poor Maverick has been the one trying to find a place that is willing



1. to have my dogs and cats

2. is cheap.



LOL Well you know I like to eat and such :P



He got confirmation that me and the BROOD can move in Aug 31st, so Ontario here I come :) I am so not looking forward to the van ride with 2 cats that have been indoor kitties and NEVER have been moved O_O anyone know of SERIOUSLY good kitty drugs?!



I leave around the 24th of this month.... YAY!! Eepp! SO much to do between now an then!!! YAY

I now have NO MESSAGES in my inbox.



YAY ME! O_o don't even THINK about messaging me tonight! Because I think it's been since OH last SEPTEMBER that my inbox was empty...



Whoo-hoo procrastination!

So Flannery came down to help me pack today, but unfortunately I needed to get some painting done and to spackle some walls. So she held a ladder for me (I’m afraid of heights) and helped me spackle walls. WOOT. But before we could do these adventures in prepping the rental house, we had Ethiopian food for lunch! YAY eating with fingers.



As I was on the ladder painting, the Seattle sky threatened a good down pour and since I was using oil based paint (I’m redoing the windows) we went in to work on the holes in the walls and then a mini tour of Seattle :)



We started out on Queen Anne hill on a street ironically called Nob Hill, at the house pictured behind Flan, it’s an amazing Victorian that the owners have spent the past 15 years redoing… and adding to. Originally white and plain they have added all the ironwork and the carvings to the house.







Currently they only have the back of the house to finish (5 years ago they still had that and a side to do) AMAZING house to visit.



We then went to the small park on the hill that over looks Downtown Seattle to West Seattle. These pictures go from East to West.



















After a quick jaunt through Freemont, by the water we wandered into Wallingford for Sushi at Kitaro and then I showed her Murphy’s Irish Pub and the Sea Monster. We ended the wanderings at Chocolate a WONDERFUL Coffee / Chocolate shop for much yumminess.



Just in case this sounds normal, rest assured we are both still crazy :P







Although Flan can’t keep a straight face…

So I’m kinda pissy right now. Ever get news that excites you just to have someone deflate the feeling with one phrase. Well, I was accepted to Toxic Cherry~ Thanks to my friend Nic who recommended them since she knows the owners, and she told me some interesting things about suicide girls that REALLY changed my mind about them! I do think that they will be a far better fit for what I really want to do, which is innuendo. They do not require their models to be nude, but it is encouraged since it sells. I’m not so much into the nude, full spread eagle pictures being put online, but I have been fascinated with pin ups of the days gone past. You know, the ones in the bikinis or dresses? So to have an opportunity to create such ideals and push them so that they are modern and fresh is very cool in my thoughts: if I can come up with a fresh spin on it, even better.



In researching pinups the past several days I am noticing some of Marilyn Monroe’s best pictures did not contain nudity. It was her expressions, the draw of the face and then the hint of what would come later. Raw feminine power rolled up into one shot: totally real, and imaginatory at the same moment. That is what I want to explore. While nudes have their place too, I must remember with my profession something like that could hurt my professional life. Whereas suggestive, I can defend much easier with my theatre background. It still might hurt me, but not to the same extent. Who knows where this will lead, I look forward to the ride.



As for the comment, I’m still pissed by it. “I would never be attached to someone who puts them selves forth in such a public manner.” I find this VERY ironic since this person also has told me HOW much they like my photos on MySpace and VR. What is the difference with what I want to do? There is none in my eyes, except the potential for me to get paid for putting these pictures out. Not to mention my ability to work with real photographers, and not me holding a camera trying to get it the right angle or a web cam for my face shots. I feel like he’s trying to manipulate me to “change my mind” by the illusion that there is something more with our relationship than there is.



Am I not seeing the big picture? Perhaps. But I think that women here in the US are beat down enough, and need to embrace their imperfections, with class and style. I can only hope that I am able to do this with elegance.



Nic bless her, had this to say:



“oh... feh.



lol. If you want to do pinups, do pinups. If you want to do spread eagle penetration shots, do it.



If the boy has a problem with you doing something you choose to do with your body...the boy isn't grown up enough to be worth your time.



And if he has issues with the pinups... well, he should remove the 'don't ya wanna do me' photo's from his sight



Roflmfao”



She TOTALLY made my day; I LOVE THAT WOMAN!

So I went where most Seattle folk never stop, Sumner. It is past Auburn, right before Puyallup. It’s pretty much as out there as it gets, cowboys and all. Funny thing was because I’ve been painting and due to the distraction of my previous entry, I did not change from my painting clothes.



So I walk into the country bar wearing my brown overalls, not a stitch of make-up and OOOOOH I stand out. Not only am I one of the tallest women there, I’m one of the tallest people period… Hmmm you know I thought they used to make bikers bigger. Yep I’m the ONLY female slob in the place. Cripes?! What was going to do, pick one of these boys up? Yuck.



On my way home I was traveling hwy 167 through Kent and Renton… ok since when did that area turn into a scene from “The fast and furious”? Only their cars sucked. So I’m driving along, trying to stick to just a bit over the speed limit since when I arrived at the bar I realized that my ID is still at home with my camera. Damn, I’m going out enough that I forget about my license? WOW.



And then I see it… the police lights… fuck right behind me, and then POOF around my Escape. WHEW. You know how much a driving without a license ticket would suck? LOL All and all I had a fun night. My friend had an allergy attack before she sang and didn’t make it to the next round. My other friend however, did most excellent since this is her first time singing in a competition. I remember a time she would rather DIE than sing in public. ♥ I am so going to need to party with them when I come home for holidays. Nights like tonight are why I don’t want to leave Seattle.

On 05:57:53 Aug 06 2006 raziel wrote:



actually dear i am not pouting, im just trying to make a point, i understand you are doing your job but u seem to be gunning for it. i paid to be on the site not long ago and it wasnt like it is now, and i could care less about getting a 1 cause ratings and status dont mean shit to me when i first came here it wasnt just a game as it is now, i just dont see how the site can grow with some many restrictions based on status. if this is supposed to be "The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory" then whats going on, cause there hasnt been 1 database entry added since i got here so how can it live up to its name? its all about this ratings and status bullshit, and i feel bad for the new guy but then again i see alot of them slowly learning about the truth here, and im afraid vr is gonna fall apart



thats just my opinion and the opinion of many others its just im not afraid to open my mouth, but u have to agree with me a little bit



I responded with:



Actually NO I don't. I think you are being childish and immature.



There is a reason that there haven't been major additions, Cancer is doing OTHER things. Major re-workings of code and such so that the site runs better and faster. If people would stop and watch the changes they would notice small bits here and there. These are not done through a “code generator”, they are made painstakingly by Cancer. As for the database, he has a plan to make it easier for Administrators add things as right now he is backed up on them. He KNOWS THIS, and is trying to write the code so that the change can be put into place and MORE can be added.



What on earth do you think rating my portfolio and profile is going to do? I am not the one in charge. You have these concerns perhaps you should take them to an ADMINISTRATOR, not a Dominar.



My job is limited TO ONLY the forums. I have no controls else where, so you measly one was wasted.



Enjoy the rave, I have sent this message to all Admins and Dominars.





FYI for Administrators and Dominars, the message I left on his profile:



Just because you would like to have different rules in the forums does not mean that I am not going to do the job that Cancer asked ALL dominars to do. Should you choose to stop pouting I would be more than happy to go back to the rating that you had before. I wish you luck, as if this is your way of dealing with things, things are sad for you.



***

Then LOOKEY lookey his friend goes to my profile rates it a one with this:



enchantress

| Block |



Rating: 1

Comment: Hey back of raziel he is my friend and deservs the best treatment!

Date: 22:17:15 - Aug 05 2006



****

SO I respond again this tard with:



This is exactly what I said. I have not attacked Raziel, he messaged me. I have to say if you really have issues with my work as a Dominar your time is better taken with discussing it with and Administrator.



Rating me ones on my profile and portfolio does not change that I am and will continue to follow rules. This message is also being sent to the Administration. (I attached the above messages to this one as well)

***



Might I add how satisfying it is being a Sire and watching the score LOWER when my 10 becomes a 1. Besides I don’t make the rules, I just follow them… who said I couldn’t ENJOY following them?! >:)

GAH. There are times, like right now... that I just want to STRANGLE her.



I have not nor will I ever read minds.



If you want me to do something at a certain time... TELL ME.



Do not be upset when I am doing my laundry, dishes, cooking and cleaning when you said you'd call when ready. Funny, you never called. I have been on the phone all of 5 min today and my cell phone has not rung.



GAH, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR



/rant

What do:



-6 bottles of wine

-good food

-4 girls

-hot tub



equal?



One hella good time. OOOh I'm gonna pay tomorrow... WEEEEEEE

Your last message really hurt my feelings. There is going to be a lot of changes in my life in the next year. I do not expect you to understand or agree with MY CHOICES, just as I have not always agreed with yours.



This is my journey Pat, and instead of ridicule I would rather have your support. Just as you tell me there is a lot going on in your world, so there is in mine. I am finally going to areas I have longed to go, and no one will hold me back anymore.



Reaching beyond my grasp. Indeed I am and without apology. I find that every time I have done that, it has lead to the greatest rewards in my life. I may not succeed with what I attempt, but I LEARN from it. I will not look back, I will not be embarrassed and I will not regret. Who knows what will happen? These are things I held back from not because they weren't me but because of other people's perceptions.



I am done with that. To be who and what I am, I cannot lean on others, as they will limit me by their ideas. My ideas and dreams are the most important, not theirs- unless I choose to let them live my life for me.



My hope for you is that you also find your place and path. Do not let anyone, no matter how seductive the thought of them is, hold you back. Be unashamed, you will attract someone who can and "live" with that. To do anything else is to sell yourself short, and you deserve so much more.



Love always,

Annie

Well I have hit the button, submitted my meager photos and am doubtful that I will get a response. But it HAD to be done. I would always wonder, question if I would have been accepted. Now there will be no doubts.



Although, I think I need to go for my run again tonight... I am nuts, you do realize this, yes? I do this, when taking steps to move forward in my life, I tend to do EVERYTHING I've thought of deep in my darkest thoughts. Apply for anything that seemed interesting and go from there. Rejection, well it might come as a welcome "whew". However I do not think so. This is something I had would have done 18 years ago if I had thought that I might be accepted.



My image of self is still not what it should be, skewed by my self dislike, but it does now allow for me to at least see from an outsiders point of view how I might appear. Now I wait, feeling silly expecting the rejection, but a little more free for having put myself out there.



Still confused? Read my application:



Sexuality is a rather odd thing; it is something that seems to be both hindering and freeing depending on the expression a person takes. I suppose you might consider this my, “oh fuck I’m old” break down. I prefer to think of it more as allowing myself to be considered pretty, girly, and maybe to some beautiful. This image I have fought most of my life, shied away from it in truth. I find to fully become the woman I wish to be, that I must break down those barriers and truly accept the me that I hear everyday in my head. The one that really drives my actions, the one does not accept the societal controls. Becoming a Suicide Girl would in fact be a major step in that direction.



Not the easiest step I could choose, but one that will create the fullest affect for my efforts. Somewhere deep down I revel in that people find me to be attractive, while maintaining my rather painful attempts to appear plain and nonsexual. Irony is, to most I just appear as someone in poor clothing choices. Being naturally an hourglass figure it is difficult these days, to dress in the manner that is most flattering, as would take more time and effort than I have invested in the past 10 years of dressing. The funny thing is that I am not ashamed of my body and it’s imperfections, but have grown up dreading the camera.



The infamous dreaded +15lb that the camera adds has women running in all directions to prevent their pictures from being taken. A friend said to me recently that it is all about angle, and I am becoming more inclined to believe that. In looking at photos, straight on only really helps the amazingly beautiful, the rest of us must use tricks to enhance, create the best look of the reality that is us. After all, even the skinny women have pictures that make them look rotund, why should they get the primary use of the art of photography?



In short, I want to be a Suicide Girl for me. To claim, affirm and revel in the beauty of my body and mind.

Buttons are HOT!









Many thanks to CountessMoon for sharing her button ♥