The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Touched by a Star
00:18 Aug 19 2008
Times Read: 694

I SHOOK HANDS WITH JIMMY CARR! I will never wash this hand again, lol!







OMGOMGOMGOMG :D *explodes* I went up and got him to autograph my ticket, he said "Hey hipster, what's someone like you doing at my show?" and recommend me visit something called the Spiegal Tent because it's something I might like, whatever the fuck that is. My heart was pounding like crazy with nerves because he's officially the most famous person I've ever met, and one that I've always been a big fan of. Although I kept telling myself to relax, I actually managed to forget how to speak when I got infront of him. I squeezed out a "that was fantastic, thank you so much" and got the handshake that I wanted, *sigh*. The show was worth every penny and was absolutely excellent, one liners one after the other, pop pop pop and each one fucking brilliant.

I was filled with such joy and euphoria when I left the venue that I walked for ages in the rain completely unaware of how sodden I was getting. I haven't felt this happy in well, ever I think. *Faints*



It's been a strange and eventful day really, aside from seeing Jimmy Carr. It started with me being woken at 6am by a complete nutter outside on the street shouting and shouting at the top of her lungs for seemingly no reason. It was at that moment that I strongly regretted not owning a sniper rifle. I was about five seconds away from screaming "Shut the fuck up" out the window, when the bus stopped and she left on it. The same mad woman appeared in the Scotmid later on when I had popped in to buy some Irn Bru (buy two bottles get a free glass, woo) and shouted randomly some more.



Erin and I took a short break today at work, when we were blessed with another visit from David the Witch, which had me in fits of silent but hysterical laughter. He was obviously drunk and the shit coming out of his mouth was the biggest load of bollocks I've possibly ever heard. It involved David explaining his imprisonment within Azkaban for a year and a day, us asking him how he ever got past the Dementors, and if he realised that Azkaban was fictional. Also a 'lesson' on human anatomy, Erin explaining how she chose to become a Hare Krishna, and David saying how he was still part of the coven, but was banished and now solitary, and me asking him if he'd ever heard the word 'contradiction' before. So indeed it has been an eventful day. Also, I was up 'til 3am last night furiously writing because my brain refused to stop thinking and let me sleep, but on the plus I got a huge amount of book one done, and I'm very happy with everything new I added to it.

I also went to see another free comedy show the other evening, something about the history of swearing. It was both informative and very funny, and I later gave the comedian a new word, 'Snollygoster' to add to his huge compilation of words. At the end he was handing out free badges (pick your favourite swear) and I got one reading 'Bollocks' lol!

So methinks that's all for now, it may be midnight but I say it's time for more Irn Bru and more writing... because I think I'm still too happy and joyous to sleep. Cheerio!

Entertainment
00:18 Aug 19 2008
Times Read: 695

I've been sat in my room for hours, and yet I am not bored. Somehow I've lost the ability to become bored, which can only be a good thing. But perhaps it's because things keep happening to entertain me. Like just now, I heard the voice of an obviously gay man shout at the top of his lungs, "You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend! How do you think that makes me feel!?". Weekends are the best when I can watch drunken tomfoolery right from my bedroom window, and there's always people shouting or fighting with eachother, there's really nothing like live entertainment. On top of interesting things happening out the window, every night there are firecrackers bursting from the castle, or events to go to if I'm out. Tomorrow night is Jimmy Carr night, ZoMg!!

I worked for a couple of hours today then it started to rain so I left, and upon my arrival home, the sun came out and remained all day. Of course. So I spent the day cleaning up and rearranging my room to make it look less sparse and more cosy. I then ate pizza, watched a DVD, consumed much chocolate, and now I actually have time to write my books. Yes I understand that this is a boring post, but I don't care. I'd forgotten what a day off felt like!

Gáidhlig
00:17 Aug 19 2008
Times Read: 696

I was going to buy a radio but now I know I don't have to, yay internet! I'm listening to Radio Nan Gáidheal, the Gaelic radio station, wee awesome! I can only understand odd words like "thank-you", "and", "it's raining" "how are you?" etc. They play pretty Scottish music too. Yayness *joy*.



Oh yesterday I had a big chat with some cops, just because I always seem to be talking to cops. They told me I should consider becoming a cop because I'm so intimidating LOL.

Deutsche Zeitung
00:17 Aug 19 2008
Times Read: 697

t was a long, fairly boring day yesterday, but three vaguely interesting things happened. The first was two German men speaking to me in German alot and me replying by looking vacuous, then they took some photos of me and managed the words "German newspaper!" Nooo! There was also a tour group composed entirely of deaf people, so they had someone translating for them in sign language. In the last few days quite a few people have tried to sign language to me and I'm like... *blank stare*. Making me think I should really learn a bit of it. Also I need to know how to say "I don't speak French/German/Spanish/Italian/Arabic/Chinese" in those languages. Later on I went to see a comedian who told jokes in a similar way to Flight of the Conchords, like through song. Fuck it was so funny, a bloke called James or 'Freeloader' from Australia. Really really good. Right well, off to face the masses once more.

Witchery, Screams, and Photos
00:16 Aug 19 2008
Times Read: 698

I was lucky enough today to enjoy a conversation with David the Witch.



Him: "So, what is your name?"

Me: "It's Freyja"

Him: "Okay, so what's your real name?"

Me: "..."



We all love this guy because firstly he introduced himself to me like so...



Me: "What's your name?"

Him: "It's...*dramatic pause* David. I'm a witch from the coven in the vaults"



And he has a ring with a pentagram which he likes to randomly show to people...



Him: "I don't wear this ring for the good of my health..." *walks away dramatically*





Anyway, nothing much else to report really. I wore lots of fake hair today which gave me something of a scene girl look, but I like to think it looked fairly natural. I spent all day feeling lethargic and complaining that I didn't have steak and orange juice like I wanted.

Oh oh, and Erin and I joined Terri on her 'jump out' at the end of one of the tours. So in the pitch dark we all hid in the vaults as one tour drew to a close, stayed still in silence, then screamed which scared the shit out of the tourists.

Erm also, I redyed my hair while very tired last night and managed to fuck it right up. The white part is properly grey, and the white roots are still ginger, wtf!?

Well here's a couple more photos under the cut that you probably don't care about, including some with my awesome red tooth enamel...





A woman told me I have creepy eyes, I think she was right.





"Fine Young Cannibal" :p lol. Have you eaten your five servings of finger today?





SHE CUT YEW UP >:D





Yes, I am taking the mickey out of scene kids.

Quoth the Idiots
20:36 Aug 12 2008
Times Read: 712


Quotes of the day...



"Are your eyes real, are you wearing contacts or what?"

"Are you Johnny Depp's girlfriend?"

"Oh my God is that Amy Winehouse!?"



and my personal favourite...

"What time is the Midnight Tour?"



Today Erin and I are famous. Here's a picture of us taken by yet another stranger, I think these were for a photography project. Fortunately you can't see me very well. Anyway the reason we are famous is because we were interviewed on live radio! One of the interviewers was a guy from UK Big Brother! We had to talk about Auld Reekie's but really they seemed more interested in pointing out how scary we were, and when they asked about the tours they didn't give us the chance to mention the underground vaults, which is the highlight of the tours, lol. They took a truly hideous photo of us which is now on their website, oh dear :p and I just found it so here it is...

Anger and Blood
22:39 Aug 09 2008
Times Read: 724

I hate people because people are stupid and they should die horribly because of it.



Anyway I was having a brilliant day today. Erin and I had lots of fun horrifying the massive crowds of people on the Royal Mile. Coupled with our usual scary makeup (her bloody and wounded and I with open stitches) we both wore tooth enamel, her with decay colour and I with blood red. She kept filling her mouth with blood or chewing on a blood capsule and, ensuring there was a good audience around, dramatically vomit blood at people's feet. Also, instead of offering "underground ghost tours" with each flyer, we got creative and replaced that with "free ice-cream", "free cake", "free kisses", "free heart transplant", "free pie", "free brain surgery", "free hot loving" and so on. It was great fun until it started to bucket down with rain, aww. The reason why I'm upset now is because of the bunch of tards giving me shit on the bus trip home, but who cares really because they're just a bunch of dumb dropkicks.

Someone has entered the worst picture of me ever taken into a competition on the Fringe website, and if it wins I believe it gets put in the local paper; the Metro. Pray for me that it does not win. I was also photographed for The Guardian newspaper's website and that should be on by Monday. While being photographed for that there was another man aiming a TV camera at me while I was standing stationary for the man from the Guardian, arrgh. I imagine this is a taste of what fame feels like, except no one knows my name or wants an autograph. Hmm, what else? I have been eating alot of strawberries and cream fraiche. A man selling sticks with a strip of fur and ribbons on the end for a pound each gave me one for free; a black one, lol. Someone else promised to buy me a balloon animal. I wish the rain would sod off for good. I think I'll eat some cheese now.

Well yes I think that's about it. Here's a photo of today's makeup for fun...







Cheerio!

Headlines
22:37 Aug 09 2008
Times Read: 725

Guess who's going to be in the Glasgow Herald tomorrow with this face on?











That's right! I get to look like a knob infront of all of Scotland *thumbs up*.

Random Fringe Photos
23:27 Aug 06 2008
Times Read: 752

Here's one to scare you, some of the Lady-Boys of Bangkok... yes they really are men!







One of the bands in the Festival Cavalcade, stolen from Flickr...









This is 'Tall Helga' I think, not sure what she does, just seems to walk around all day with an accordion player folowing her...











And I liked this one too, it's Circus Oz, taken on top of Calton Hill...







I had another nice one of two random old men I found, but it won't let me post it, aww. Well there you go, that's all fer noo, ps I found another two of me, gahh -____-;

Fringe Photos From Strangers
23:26 Aug 06 2008
Times Read: 753

I found these two pictures of myself on Flickr.com, but I suppose with so many people wanting my picture there were bound to be some on the net sooner or later. I really don't much like either or them but then I don't like pictures of myself!





This one was incorrectly titled 'Mary King's Close Guide' despite the fact that you can see the 'Auld Reekie's' logo right behind, nyuh.





The caption for this was was: "This lady has probably been photographed more than anyone else on the royal mile. She works for Auld Reekie, a ghost tour company, and looks very pretty in a non-descript kind of way." Haha.



Well there you have it, no doubt I'l discover more later.

Scenes and Shows
09:56 Aug 05 2008
Times Read: 742

Yesterday did I ever suffer. I large group of rainbowtastic scene kids came running up to me going, "Can we have a cuddle!?" at first I backed away and was like, "I don't cuddle" but eventually they whinged at me enough that I relented and thus recieved a big cuddle from a group of scene kids who then took their picture with me. Gawd, I really don't like scene kids. They all think they're so cool and glamorous, when really they're just immature and annoying. You know the ones, the wee girls and boys who have all those vanity groups on Bebo and all have screen names that contain 'glam', 'trash', 'X', or 'core'. A large flock of them hangs around the Tron Kirk out the front of which I hand out flyers, so there are always plenty of them nearby. Anyway, later I finally took time off flyering to wait in the half hour long queue outside the fringe box office with hopes of securing a Jimmy Carr ticket... only to get the the front of the queue to discover they've all sold out; every show. WAAAH! This disappointment broke my soul and I spent the rest of the evening felling bummed out. Then my nice friends took me to see a comedy play which was really brilliant and made me feel better. I'm still upset about it cause that was the only show in the whole fringe that I really wanted to see, but uh, shit happens I suppose. I don't get to see the Tattoo either which was another thing I was well keen on cause tickets sell out early, but I guess that too will have to wait 'till next year, damnit.

Bagpipes, Haggis, and Lady-Boys
23:23 Aug 03 2008
Times Read: 756

It's no exaggeration to say that I had my picture taken around 100 times today, phew. Not sure if I like this much attention or not. Anyway the Festival Cavalcade was on today, a really big parade, about 50 times better than any one I've ever seen in Dunedin. There were so many people that the footpaths were literally clogged for miles and there was no moving able to be done by anyone. There was loads of Pipe bands (which is to be expected since it's Scotland), Brass bands, beautiful Asian displays, and one from the 'Lady-Boys of Bangkok'. They're doing a show and I was supposed to go to it for free last night with a few others, but people's plans changed until it ended up being me alone, so I decided not to go. Shame cause it would have been fun, and cripes some of them make beautiful women! Anyway I have delicious cheese on toast and music from a CD I bought from some awesome street performers today called the Saor Patrol; they dress like proper Highlanders, play the bagpipes and beat on great big drums, it's fantastic. I had haggis for dinner so all in all it's been something of a Scottish day. It was my first time trying it (knowing what it's made of has always put me off) but it was very nice. Now to feed myself some more, go to bed, and do it all over again tomorrow.

Smokey Slimy Grotty Grimy London
23:22 Aug 03 2008
Times Read: 757

Well, London is just as awesome as ever it was, with it's ability to be both beautiful and filthy at the same time. Today I relieved myself of well, almost all my cash during an invasion of Camden Town. I walked past someone who I recognised as Elf from Suicide Girls, it's so weird when you see an internet person in real life. I bought three dresses, a necktie, and a pretty pink hat. One dress was 30 pound off, but the zip is broken and needs a few adjustments. Other than that it's really pretty and I'm sure I can fix it if I'm bothered. The other two are both black with white lace but are all pretty and Lolita. I'll probably go back tomorrow, but after that I'll be spending no money on anything, and will be living off canned soup for the next few weeks. Over the Edinburgh Fringe Festival I'm going to start charging people for taking photos of me, like maybe a pound each. I could have made like 30 quid the other day, and the festival hasn't begun yet! Well I'll try, the vast majority of people don't ask before taking photos, which in my opinion is a little rude and makes me feel like something of a spectacle. Anyway, it's extremely hot here, and muggy too which makes things suck. Being in the Underground is like being in an oven, and I find myself soaked in sweat after about a minute. I have two days left here, there's a million things I could do, but I can't afford to do any of them, lol. I wish I could afford to live here all the time in a nice posh house somewhere, but I have rather fallen in love with Edinburgh.

The bus trip here was just as unpleasant as I expected it to be. Nine hours try to sleep on a bus with a strange fellow sitting next to me. It was so uncomfortable and I've realised that I tend to repeatedly bite my tongue when I sleep sitting upright, like on planes or buses. I kept waking up tasting blood and have some nice marks on my tongue, which hurt like hell. In other news just randomly, my camera has stopped working. How convinient. Oh, and I've broken my fourth umbrella this month. Well I think it's time to sleep, so goodnight to all.