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9 entries this month
Psychology03:22 Feb 23 2012
Times Read: 721
They say that if you dream about someone, that means that whoever you dreamed about is thinking of you. I sure hope the hell not, because I dreamed about Ted Bundy last night.
Ebaying01:40 Feb 20 2012
Times Read: 738
Nothing says "trying to recapture your adolescence" than buying a lot of old 16 and Tiger Beat magazines on ebay. Holy cow.
Facebook Moment16:22 Feb 19 2012
Times Read: 759
I wake up to find a friend request on Facebook. I go to look at the profile, since the name doesn't ring a bell, and I see this on his info:
Political Views: CANNIBAL
Religious Views: SUCK MY TESTICLES
Oooohhkay then.
Feeding Time!00:55 Feb 17 2012
Times Read: 779
Animal lovers, especially kitty people (and I know you are legion out here in VR-land) will love this entry. It has been so mild here lately that we decided to cook out for lunch today, and my bosses set up their grill in the back parking lot. They had been out fishing this past weekend, and had a load of bluegills that they were going to cook. I made a salad, brought in some fruit, and left the guys to do the grilling.
Pretty soon I heard them calling to me. I peeked out the back door and there were my bosses at the grill...surrounded by a semi-circle of four attentive kitties from the neighborhood. They were straining toward the grill, but sat very nicely, tails flashing back and forth over the driveway.
My boss took a bluegill and broke it into pieces, then went over to the kitties and gave them each a section. Well, hell, that was like giving me a sniff of a box of chocolates...bitch, where's the rest! One kitty let out this mournful howl as if to say "Is that IT?" My boss was laughing so hard when he told me to bring out a plate. He took off several fish, broke them up into bits, made sure they were cool enough for the kitties to eat, and set the plate down by them.
Whoosh. In seconds the plate was licked clean and the kitty chorus started up: "Mrow? NOM? OM NOM NOM NOM Mrow?" I went back into the kitchen and scrounged up some left overs, chicken noodle casserole from the day before, broke up some bread and then took out a tupperware bowl and filled it with water so the cats could have a drink with their meal. Soon as I set the plate down they were on it and licked it clean.
They stayed around till all the fish was cooked and the grill got put back in the garage, then they hung around the back door for the rest of the afternoon. One bold one took a few steps inside, but a noise startled him and he took off with his mates. I noticed two of them were back sitting by my car when I left tonight. I should have brought them home to sic on the mouse!
Mystery04:10 Feb 16 2012
Times Read: 795
In the corner of the living room, where I had witnessed a good bit of mouse activity in the past and had set down snap traps, poison and glue traps, I now find a flurry of fuzz. Did the mouse explode? It wasn't there when I left for work this morning. I hope the little fucker got a bellyful of poison and just backed up. Die.
Mouse Redux03:45 Feb 14 2012
Times Read: 818
I have another mouse in this apartment. Well, at least another one that I saw. There may be two, because I don't think just one could eat the entire tray of mouse poison I put out. But then again, it could have taken some, come back, take some more and so on till it's gone. Hopefully he got a bellyful and will die soon.
I saw him running up and down the wall under my air conditioner yesterday. Cripes, another one! I heard something scrabbling under my sink earlier so perhaps that's where they are coming in. I plugged up the holes around the water pipe with steel wool, put out poison and traps...and the damn thing ate all the poison and somehow wriggled itself out of the glue trap. I know he got caught in it cos it was moved waaaaaaaaay over from where I put it. He managed to get it wedged against the wall and scampered free. Fucker.
I bought this contraption, you wind it up and set it along the wall, its supposed to be able to trap multiple mice. There's a see-thru top so you can see how many you caught (the box says it will hold up to 10.) The illustration shows a hand opening the lid to let the mice out after they are caught....ARE THEY KIDDING? THE FUCKING THINGS WILL STAY IN THERE IF I CATCH ANY. I am not letting them out. The entire thing is going in the garbage as soon as I know they are dead.
I've had mice ever since I moved into this apartment. I complain frequently to the management, they come in, poke around and set traps, but hell, I can do that myself. My downstairs neighbor says he never has mice (at least, none that he has seen, and he checked under his sink and reported no mice droppings). So, these little fuckers are coming in outside, going up TWO FLOORS to get to my house. What the hell. And don't blame it on my keeping birds. I didn't have a bird here till 1997, and I had mice years before that.
Hope they die. I hate mice.
Grr04:19 Feb 12 2012
Times Read: 834
That's what I get for eating dinner at 3:30. Now it's 10:30 and I am starving. What to eat before bedtime?
Heartbreakingly Awful01:02 Feb 12 2012
Times Read: 848
Was just reading an article about the awful events that happened out in Puyallup, Washington, last weekend. This was the ending to the saga where the mother had gone missing, the husband had been suspected...and he blows up his house with him and his two little boys in it.
That was terrible enough as it was....then I read this: "The medical examiner's finding that Josh hit both boys with a hatchet before the explosion."
A HATCHET.
These were 5 and 7 year old kids. What the hell kind of disturbed fucking nutjob does that to innocent children?
Oh wait, I just answered my own question.
Horrible. Awful. And he had pre-planned this event, by giving away his kids' toys and books, and emailing instructions to his family and pastor about what to do with his money after he had gone.
Investigators have discovered a mattress in a storage locker that belonged to this jackwagon, which has tested positive for blood. No one will probably ever know what happened to his wife, but it's probable he did something to her. If he can do this to two innocent babies, he could do something to an adult.
Sad. Sad. Sad. :(
Stuff and more Stuff01:07 Feb 08 2012
Times Read: 880
This kind of thing only happens to me, I swear. I'm at the grocery store, getting a few things, and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around, and there is a youngish man looking very anxious. He leans in and asks "can I ask you about something?"
I said sure. He tells me he and his wife just had a baby. The wife just came home from the hospital with the kid, and she discovers she's out of kotex. Apparently not having a period for several months, she got out of the habit of buying anything. She gets home with the kid and...ooops!
Anyways, he shows me the note his wife wrote so he would get the right thing. 'HOSPITAL PADS", she wrote, and underneath it, "ASK A LADY WHO HAD A BABY."
Um? I told him, dude, you picked the ONE lady in this store who never had a kid. He looked crestfallen, but I cheered him up by taking him to what he needed and giving him a couple boxes. Ya don't need to have a baby to know about these things. He thanked me profusely and apologized, I told him don't worry about it. I'm always getting asked where stuff is in the grocery store.
The other day a black guy asked me where to find the creole seasoning. I'm just about the whitest person on the planet, and he thinks I might know about this? We had a great time looking for it and eventually finding it in the spice aisle. Another time an older guy asked me where the hemmorhoid creams were.
Sheesh. Only me, I swear.
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COMMENTS
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Isis101
03:58 Feb 23 2012
Oh damn...lol!
Well - at least Ted Bundy is dead!
If I ever dream about my asshole ex, I'd hope that he'd be thinking about paying me the money he owes...
DemonicDoll
04:25 Feb 23 2012
I wouldn't worry too much...
could be nothing more than you trying to get in touch with your inner serial killer...
Requiem
12:08 Feb 23 2012
Three words:
Sesame. Ginger. Sauce.
Oh, wait. That's Ed Gein.
My bad.
Carry on.
PandorasBx
19:04 Feb 24 2012
LMFAO!!!!!!
xxEmaeraldxx
20:16 Feb 26 2012
Oops!