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Days have grown long, and this body seems to feel the ticks of the clock on my mind, my mind is blank yet words seems to swirl around in my head and yet does not seem to connect to make words or sentences. The week’s toll seems to be burdens on my life and soul and yet my mind wonders to a glimpse of times when words seem to flow like the blue crystal streams of a majestic mountain. My mind cloudy yet fragmented with darkness, solitude, and remorse. Yet a path in which a soul seems to travel is unknown and unclear for the next division of the path leads to deeper in the woods or away to the rolling wheat fields of the big sky country.

Memories of youth twisted and feared come into play a lot, the ghosts of the past seem to filter in my mind and the locks on the big wooden doors do not seem to hold back these demons. Yet I do not know how long I can I hold them in , I write puzzles on pages that hint to the clues, yet to unleash the demons means the past could not fill the pages of any book known. These demons housed for so long I thought they would vanish from my mind. The deaths I have seen, the stories of pain and hurt, yet they haunt me to write on the pages of this time.

Riddles and puzzles or more apparent in life’s struggles for every step seems to be another obstacle or burden for the gods amusement. Pawns on a chess board waiting for the battle that never happens and yet waits in the wind like a solemn leaf holding on to the branches in an autumn storm. Clouded words I put here to reason with the darkness I have been in, death is no more a thought yet there is nothingness, plain and simple nothingness. Words of inspiration I love to create and pictures off the beauty of the world seem to be not there. They say it will get better, I do hope and pray for now I am just sitting by the shore waiting for the mist to fade away from the shoreline.

Ripples of time flow on the enchanted waters of my mind, yet the morning mist still covers most of the autumn shoreline for the beauty of its red and orange colors still hide from my every roaming eyes. I sit on the water’s edge searching for the sun to move the mist away and bring on the days new adventure. But yet it evades me like that of a love given yet not received. My forget fullness seem to be more apparent a side effect of the medication I am on, yet sometimes it scares me on how much I lose in just a short time. Memory flashes in my mind like that of a lightning storm over the horizons in Montana; Glimpses so fast yet soon forgotten like the years of yesterday.

If this age that has to come to be I do not want any part of it. The sands of the hour glass seem to speed up and the youth I once knew is now forgotten and wrinkles and soreness grasp me in their clutch. Our destiny is not known for the path we are on split every second and confusion comes abruptly if we stop and look down the paths which are not taken. We march on like ants in a concrete world looking for nourishment to keep our life going, yet only seeing more and more walls as we push towards the horizon and the search for the fruits at the end of its vastness.

Individuality has taken over the scheme of community and society, for not one soul cares for others, they sit Infront of electrical devices and shun the language of taking to friends and family. They hide within themselves and care for what they can get and not what the whole may receive. Youth of my time who wanted to make a name for themselves. Set goals to prosper their lives and leave the names upon record books of the past.

Whether playing music, arts or education. The youth and their individuality have no remorse or idea of what they could do only what the video streams have giving them as reality. They have become cowards, for they would take innocent lives to get some shadow of fame for ten minutes. Many of the youths at this time, life will pass to blackness as they are gunned down trying to stop the innocent slaughter. And then society blames guns or the cops for such a cruel act, when the youth’s individuality caused the death of a coward.

Don’t get me wrong video streams are not the evil of the youth’s mind, society has taught them that no matter what they do that no blame or punishment falls upon them. For discipline is the path that youth of my days were given to set them upon the right path of respect for parents, elders and the community.

My love of classic and current horror films gives me the pleasure or rush in life’s boring realm. Yet I know fact from fiction and the ideas of death are more than what can be shown by some FX illusion in the screen. Youths and those to come need to understand that death is the final stage we must all face when our time has come, and the clock of our life is forever quiet. For I fear the world and society of the future for the path has already been set in the broken path of destruction. Give me back the past years that life was great and manageable for the youth and communities that were held together with respect and generosity.

COMMENTS

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Earthgrinder
00:46 Sep 11 2024

And so it goes...Kurt Vonnegut

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Yet society has lost the power to see beauty, for like ghosts only the pure shall see the reflections of another plane. For as we grow, and society and humanity take control of our minds. The innocence of youth and that all things are beauty and wonderful diminishes into obscurity.

We forget that colors are those that are manmade and destined to be the color we are told as the youth. For than humans put things in groups based on fictional ideas that society says we must fall into. Beauty is held only for the children of the world; basics of life and death are now the corrupt forms of ideology and sociology. For beauty loses its luster by ignorance of the human mind and the teachings we all have been drummed into our thought pattern.

For the seeds of time have sprouted and has withered away, yet those ancestral seeds have passed its time onto a new generation of flowers and of life. Yet in their time what they had sown has now affected the new society in which others call their own. I turmoil that has plagued humans since the start of their beings. So, when does enough become enough, they say history repeats itself yet with new individuals and ideology why or how does the past repeat? For it should branch out like a large oak tree in the springtime, stretching to the sun to warm its limbs from the cool days that have since past.

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STABB666
03:38 Sep 05 2024

Indeed.

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STABB666
03:51 Sep 05 2024

I little corny at the end, but this reminded me of it. I think it touches on the innocence of youth and represents something most of us still have inside. A loneliness of sorts, but on the next level, it speaks of companionship and the coming together of lost souls, siblings across time that are family despite being found in different places, and with new faces.

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