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The words upon these pages are mine and only mine. they are not copy and paste from someone else's tortured mind. my mind wanders and as it does my thoughts become clouds and puzzles in the creases of my mind which I try to unravel. My old site had many of my poems and unwavering thoughts that my mind seems to plague me with. I shall in time start releasing some of my old work here on this current profile (since my other profile was erased long ago) to share with those who wish to read my illogical thoughts. so, bear with me as I push further on in life and try to reason societies destructive nature on us.

Can a face, be no face? Is it so blank that it has no emotion or color that it ever shows? That it is taken as a white slate of absolute distortion. It’s like an artists’ canvas that is marked just merely once but is not yet finished. Can it be like an unfolded cover in a tight bound book, which remains closed and has never let the pages be turned to be read? For the story it holds within it’s stained yellow pages can never be told or finished. So the characters themselves or the mysterious plot can never live or die for they remain frozen in time and space. Which in fact, these pages are stained with the dark ink of the ages on the cloud white paper.

What evil power does desire have over this imperfect human race? The desire for more money, or the desire for controlling power over everything, or the desire for the unforgettable lust that fills are bodies, is this what we strive for. Why can a power so overwhelming be enough to destroy the strongest of our very souls? Why can’t this race be happy with what they have gotten or achieved in ones life to give them the satisfaction of true life. Is this world so mixed up or the drones of people so blind that they cannot see the real treasure by which by any other name is called “LOVE”. The love for people, the love for our families and friends, the love for the dreams that we each have or in fact the love for the unknown in years to come. For this is true content in humans beating hearts and flowing souls; for if they find this, nothing in this not so big world will ever matter.

What evil power does desire have over this imperfect human race? The desire for more money, or the desire for controlling power over everything, or the desire for the unforgettable lust that fills are bodies, is this what we strive for. Why can a power so overwhelming be enough to destroy the strongest of our very souls? Why can’t this race be happy with what they have gotten or achieved in ones life to give them the satisfaction of true life. Is this world so mixed up or the drones of people so blind that they cannot see the real treasure by which by any other name is called “LOVE”. The love for people, the love for our families and friends, the love for the dreams that we each have or in fact the love for the unknown in years to come. For this is true content in humans beating hearts and flowing souls; for if they find this, nothing in this not so big world will ever matter.

My gratitude for the people On VR that have helped me and convinced me to stay. As I looked around at the start the gang of old were nowhere to be seen. Yet a few have come and shown me the true meaning of fellowship within this site. Thank you I hope as the days linger on; I will find more friends to share my time with here. and make some lasting memories of friendship. work is starting write more later.

Off to a living wake today. A dear friend is dying of cancer and wanted to go to his own funeral service. So we planned this for him so he could see all his friends. Now. Before his time runs out.

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CrypticSin
20:40 Sep 22 2023

Im sorry dear

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If I get a premium membership is there friends that will help me set up my profile

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Vodka
20:00 Sep 16 2023

Sure, I will help as much as I can...not the best coder but I get by with a few simple things...lol

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CrypticSin
20:40 Sep 22 2023

Done your welcome dear

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The web of life is fragile under the emotional state of what it clings. For lies, deception will tatter the frays that bind it to the walls of the columns of life. For the blackened heart of life creates cracks in the fine silken threads we call home. Those who think they know the inner workings of me are not even given a glimpse into the blackened vault that is hid from society and friends. An evil so vile that if released would shatter the mirror of society and its paths that I have traveled. The ghosts of the past imprisoned for they have once drained this soul almost to death. Locked up and hid and shunned to let not in my place of solitude. I am me; I can be nothing less or more, friendship that is given is given to protect and entice the will to write and dream and create. I value those who I call friends, yet blackened paths that miss guide this soul will be turned away from and not travel again. A vow I take to myself to veer from the path that harms and devours my essence. Death calls too many times for me to worry about the dramas of others. I am me; I am or cannot be anything else, a friend, and a helper to create the passions hid in your soul.

Found my old profile's journal and portfolio, cool been searching for them and old friends I use to chat with. miss them all.

Memories of youth twisted and feared come into play a lot, the ghosts of the past seem to filter in my mind and the locks on the big wooden doors do not seem to hold back these demons. Yet I do not know how long I can I hold them in , I write puzzles on pages that hint to the clues, yet to unleash the demons means the past could not fill the pages of any book known. These demons housed for so long I thought they would vanish from my mind. The deaths I have seen, the stories of pain and hurt, yet they haunt me to write on the pages of this time.

I shall come back and view these thoughts and try to put some reasoning on this twisted soul, yet tiredness from the week as drain what life I have today. I think I shall rest today and try to find joy tomorrow whether in thoughts of things that had been pictures still fading in my mind. Or maybe I shall drive tell I see the sunset where ever it may be.

Memories of youth twisted and feared come into play a lot, the ghosts of the past seem to filter in my mind and the locks on the big wooden doors do not seem to hold back these demons. Yet I do not know how long I can I hold them in , I write puzzles on pages that hint to the clues, yet to unleash the demons means the past could not fill the pages of any book known. These demons housed for so long I thought they would vanish from my mind. The deaths I have seen, the stories of pain and hurt, yet they haunt me to write on the pages of this time.

I shall come back and view these thoughts and try to put some reasoning on this twisted soul, yet tiredness from the week as drain what life I have today. I think I shall rest today and try to find joy tomorrow whether in thoughts of things that had been pictures still fading in my mind. Or maybe I shall drive tell I see the sunset where ever it may be.

Days have grown long, and this body seems to feel the ticks of the clock on my mind, my mind is blank yet words seems to swirl around in my head and yet does not seem to connect to make words or sentences. The week’s toll seems to be burdens on my life and soul and yet my mind wonders to a glimpse of times when words seem to flow like the blue crystal streams of a majestic mountain. My mind cloudy yet fragmented with darkness, solitude, and remorse. Yet a path in which a soul seems to travel is unknown and unclear for the next division of the path leads to deeper in the woods or away to the rolling wheat fields of the big sky country.

Weekend time. Time to relax and enjoy the down time of the clock. Karaoke time have fun all

Riddles and puzzles or more apparent in life’s struggles for every step seems to be another obstacle or burden for the gods amusement. Pawns on a chess board waiting for the battle that never happens and yet waits in the wind like a solemn leaf holding on to the branches in an autumn storm. Clouded words I put here to reason with the darkness I have been in, death is no more a thought yet there is nothingness, plain and simple nothingness. Words of inspiration I love to create and pictures off the beauty of the world seem to be not there. They say it will get better, I do hope and pray for now I am just sitting by the shore waiting for the mist to fade away from the shoreline.

If this age that has to come to be I do not want any part of it. The sands of the hour glass seem to speed up and the youth I once knew is now forgotten and wrinkles and soreness grasp me in their clutch. Our destiny is not known for the path we are on split every second and confusion comes abruptly if we stop and look down the paths which are not taken. We march on like ants in a concrete world looking for nourishment to keep our life going, yet only seeing more and more walls as we push towards the horizon and the search for the fruits at the end of its vastness.

Ripples of time flow on the enchanted waters of my mind, yet the morning mist still covers most of the autumn shoreline for the beauty of its red and orange colors still hide from my every roaming eyes. I sit on the water’s edge searching for the sun to move the mist away and bring on the days new adventure. But yet it evades me like that of a love given yet not received. My forget fullness seem to be more apparent a side effect of the medication I am on, yet sometimes it scares me on how much I lose in just a short time. Memory flashes in my mind like that of a lightning storm over the horizons in Montana; Glimpses so fast yet soon forgotten like the years of yesterday.

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Shadowing
01:58 Sep 06 2023

This is descriptive, really like it. Thank you for sharing it.

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I've come too see my old friends yet it seems like a site I never seen. Where have you all gone miss you all

Trying once again to figure this out. Been so long since I have graced this sight. Came to find my old journal. Yet to find it. But tired of thieves that steal my words and thoughts

Came back to see what has changed and too see if old friends were still around.