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Christmas is almost here again, A holiday that is supposed to be from the heart: what you give and not what you take: yet it is a holiday that I have no thought to enjoy it at all Call Mr. Scrooge or the grinch it is what it is. It's always been a day of reflection of the past and remorse, for this holiday my father and grandmother both pasted on Christmas eve.

The family always joked it was our curse our legacy, a thought that comes to me every time this holiday comes to be. I have not celebrated Christmas since I was child for something back then turned me away from this cheerful holiday. I try to get thru it with the kids and better halves, yet they all know my feelings towards this holiday of white.

Maybe like the grinch I shall get a bigger heart and enjoy it or be doomed like scrooge with the shackles of my past to torment me.