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These last few days I have really been asking myself what my purpose in life is? What am I here for? Is there a reason for the many emotions and visions that I have? I have ideas and thoughts about what it could be but I cant know for sure. Maybe it will be something very good, which is what I am hoping for.



I also attended a funeral service for a distant family member today and many people were talking about the difference he has made in peoples lives and I asked myself, do I make a difference? I really hope that when I am gone people will remember me as the guy that tried to help as many people as he could, the friendly guy, the guy that was pleasant to be around.



Soon I will be starting a new chapter of my life as I graduate and leave high school behind. I am excited but I am worried also. I fear that I will loose some of the good friends I have made. There are very few that I feel comfortable that I will be able to maintain contact with over time. One of those will probably read this at some point, she knows who she is, and I just want to say that you are the greatest friend I could have ever asked for and no matter what me and you will always be friends. Even in death we will last as very close friends. Some friends will make this change with me as some will have one more year to go. I wish in a way we could all face it together but then again maybe this way it will be easier for me to maintain contact. Of course I am also excited because it is a big moment in my life and I will step out into the world, become a man and start living my life.



These are just some of many thoughts running through my head as of late. I am at a point in my life where I stare into the eyes of the unknown and must face whatever may come at me from the soul behind these dark eyes.