The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Jade Bruns
23:50 Dec 05 2005
Times Read: 592




At one time you were the only thing keeping me standing. I love you and you are the only one that's never left me.You are the only one that's never betrayed me, you are the only one that's always said I love you, you are the only one that could ever make a friendship seem like true love. I can't believe that I almost lost you. This cloud of white quickly turned to red. Without you my heart would lose purpose, the fact that I almost lost you scares me. I have neglected you for too long, I need to clean our sores. When that whisper met my ear my eyes began to soar, my heart began to weep, my knees got weak and I fell to the floor. It's my fault and I'll never be able to forgive myself. If I lost you I'm afraid of what I would have done. I love you Jade, and I'm sorry I denied that, just don't ever scare me like that again. I'm so sorry.

Empathy for the Cold-At-Heart
07:18 Dec 03 2005
Times Read: 604

These bullets can only be candy coated so long. Soon they will turn back to bitter. If there was only one way I could make them last longer I would. The next dawn will only bring more fear for the next dusk. As this axis turns I will crawl further into this paradise of intoxication. If the shadowless hands would only reach down and take it all away. Take away this fake happiness and give me a way to make it genuine. Take away the hours spent staring into this nothingness hoping that a voice will spring up. Give me motivation to actually do something positive for someone else. I'm tired of feeling self-centered, but everytime I try to help I screw it up. I know that if I can grasp a state of empathy then I can feel joy. I finally lose effort and mold my legs into scratching posts. As the relief roles down my leg I realize once again that everyone is on their own.

The Depression of the AM
06:20 Dec 03 2005
Times Read: 606

This poison tipped dart of darkness is drilled into my arm. The snakebite sinks into my skin and again I have found myself on the same asphalt path. Eyes letting out the evil, footsteps sailing along. More pointless hours are spent ontop of the world looking at the open concrete like a pillow. So easily it would be, fall from this ledge head heavy. Drift away for only a few months of peace, awake grogrey and free of my split personality. It would be so nice, it would be just right ; but what if it went wrong what if I found myself in the heat of all evil. As the sweat drips through my eyes I squint because the screaming artificial lies are to bright to see the truth of my presence. Why can't the time of depression and darkness be lit only by the moon. I jump from this friendly spot of sadness and crawl home. The sun kissed the sky while I slipped onto the pillow and fell into a dream of better times. Times when everything made me happy and the smallest hug blew away any feeling of the doubt of life. I awake with a smile knowing that however deep the wound, however red the blood, in the end the pain is gone. But the regret is not.

Our Self-Destructing Hearts
06:15 Dec 03 2005
Times Read: 607

Everything around him seems to be dieing away, inside and out of his concrete confinment. Two giant peices of his heart have been returned to him smashed and broken, both from his own errors. The biggest part of him turned around and ran straight from tile to asphalt without thinking twice about it. Leaving him cold and alone to find his way back blind and blurred. Running back to the only comfort that never turned it's back on him. Content with the artwork, he walks on pretending that the world below him isn't crumbling apart. His denial starts to sink in, everything closes in on him. The only things that let him escape are his paintbrush and the earsplitting silence. It finally bursts inside of him, and he snaps. Charging the door, steel in hand, he breaks through with tears in his eyes. He grabs her and holds her tight, she pulls away remembering how he hurt her. She kisses his cheeck with the palm of her hand. He falls to the floor and asks for forgivness. Turning her head her voice cracks in rejection just before the hammer finds its old home. The only soul that ever brought him joy, the only soul that ever brought him true happiness and he can't even hold her now. He can't be with her because his body has fallen lifeless. An act of a self inflicted storybook ending. He has completed his masterpeice, a web of spirals and hearts all from a never ending story of lonliness.

Silence
06:12 Dec 03 2005
Times Read: 609

The whisper of candy rests on my taste buds



Crawling in and sleeping there for an hour or so



Surrounding me are the benches of brick



Lying like a troop of warriors ready to attack



A small box of dull green limbs grows from the vertical stone floor



Awakening from their year-long slumber



Tiny heads of pollen and petals stretch from their place of resting



The tiny towers tease my eyes with their small pink beauty



The earth shadows them yet they stand unafraid



Every one of their small arms reaches out to me while they silently scream



Wishing for their short flight to reach my nose



The only smell I find is of the thousand tears from the sky



Each one releasing its loving scent when it reaches the destination of its death



Their mission is to feed the mouth of every one of nature's beauties



I lay my head back and view the wall of grey that blocks the light



They both struggle in a never-ending battle to fight or feed the soil



The cold stone that sleeps under me is bone chilling



It seems to grow harder with the turn of each clock



Every muscle in my body twitches as I try to find someplace comfortable



My limbs surrender, relax, or adapt



The soul inside of me smiles



It has been so long since I had a chance to take in the beauty of this world



Including the bite of the earth's lungs digging their fangs into the back of my neck



Drilling their poison into my skin and turning it raspberry red



The blood around my spine begins to ice over



I run my fingers over it in an effort to calm its cry



The distance yells to me



Four pistons each making their unique voice



The screams of pollution being birthed into this world



Trying to smother every pure lung



In an effort to over power the cement of the interstate is a sun-colored bird lost in song



Shaking its feathers it opens wide and pretends that no one is listening



The perfect melody leaks from inside of its beak







I close my eyes and start to drift away in the setting of sleep



for it is a glorious day.

The Loss Of Friendship
05:42 Dec 03 2005
Times Read: 611

A bitter end has just been injected into a world of happiness. I thought we were unsinkable, but we just hit an iceburg. It seemed as though our hands were cuffed together with no key in sight ; the hacksaw came in the form of new beauty. I never thought that our flesh-bound hearts could be separated. The times we flew were unspeakable, the times we crashed left me breathless and full of pain. Many lyrics of love have been penned in your name, but none of a sorrowful departing. I will remember the sweat dropped into stars, the blood smeared during our wars, and the tears tattooed into our arms. I will always have an ear waiting for you, should evil scratch at your door. I will always have a chest to lay, if the drain of the night should weight your eyes. I will always have a warm body to pull you close, if the needles of night were to prick at your tiny arms. I will always have an out-of-tune lullaby, to calm your tears. The silent words screamed under this moon will cause me to change my ways of destruction. I will grasp onto those still closest to me and hold on tight, but I will not let go of the one I care for. Your misery filled eyes have caused me to fall to my knees. No matter how dark, cold, and alone it is outside; I will always be here for you. My eyes are out of salt-filled agony. You will always be the holder of my heart. I love you. I will miss you. Goodbye.

A Suicidal Dawn
01:38 Dec 03 2005
Times Read: 614

Don't leave me great beauty, may my eyes gaze upon you only a few hours more, you can't stay, I know. This loneliness grabs my heart again, so may I stay till your waking. The darkness is back, it always surrounds me, steals all of the smiles away. I lay awake waiting for peace to cover my eyes, but yet again it fails to take me to happiness. The minutes crawl, the hours turn. I fill my head with Conor's words of wisdom. My feet find cement, numbing all the feeling. My toes grip asphalt for hours. I walk silently up the hill and, again, after years of sadness. Your shine greets my face, and I realize that your love can't lift me, your love doesn't take away the water that clouds the sky. My feet find the door again, the clock's face greets me with dawn. My fingers crawl over the metalic shine of death. My tips stroke the curve that holds the voice of the devil. I stare down the dark tunnel, and realize that to make this the end, is too much effort. My fingers do not have enough hatered to gain the strength to pull it back. May the earth take my body, and not my hands. For if taken by my fingers, would only send me too greater sorrow. My wandering eyes wait for the time to find my taking.

Passionate Jealousy
01:34 Dec 03 2005
Times Read: 616

Dreams of freedom fill my unconcious mind. My head overflows with joy from you, your smile frees my sorrow. My grief is spilled onto your shoulder, how can you be so evil to your love lost, when the past of your inner beauty was so pure? Has he always meant so little to you, or only when you tried to escape him? I don't want to forgive you, but I don't want to forget you. Your arms have not seen my shoulders in months, I try to fill the void with greater embraces from those who don't mean the same. Come back to me, but leave your evil. The night of your touch will float in my head for years to come. The warmth from your face chased the darkness away. Moonlit tears fall to their death, without a sweatshirt to catch them. Today I held your hand, it was for the wrong reasons, but it made my heart so much lighter. Why would you do that to him, why would I try to do the same to you? Have I turned to the wrong actions to venge the same actions that hurt me? My lips will never feel yours, but the closeness of your breath soothes the pain. A tear has fallen in this confession to you, it will not be the last. I have spoken lies to hide the truth, I say that the day of your leaving is darkened for my eyes won't gaze upon those I have met in the past months. The truth is that it will only be darkened by not having the joyous sight of placing my feet next to yours daily. I have looked upon the date of your graduation as a releif the weeks before this, but now I fear the day which you leave. The date in May will come too soon. The month of May holds a dreadful day.

Love Keeps Me Alive
01:22 Dec 03 2005
Times Read: 617

Blood crawls, tears fall. Why must I inflict this torture upon myself just to take away my pain. I can't stop tonight, because if I do it'll only be worse tommorow. A few tears used to work, now it's up to this sharpness to take away my darkness. I try to stop myself, think of my love for her, then I remember how I have neglected that love, and that deserves a scar. But soon this will only go so far, and I must resort to more than a few scars, and more than droplets. Tears to scars, scars to stitches, stitches to bones, bones to bullets. These actions will soon pay their fees, and this blood will reach my knees. Carry me to my sanctuary of enternal sleep, and give me a picture of hers to keep. I shall wait for my wind at the gates, I will meet you with an embrace, lay a soft kiss upon your face. Please keep that smile as long as your heart churns, and never let it burn. Your eyes will be the last to fill my thought, I shall kick the chair, and then be caught. The wings shall free me or slay me. Whatever the last page, you will always be in my head, trapped inside a cage. For I will not let you go, I cannot let you go, after the bloodflow, after the pain, and crying, and times we've been through. Your beauty will be with me always like new. So I say to you one last time, I love you.

An Icy Rejection
01:15 Dec 03 2005
Times Read: 618

The ice of winter freezes the hearts of the brave. Hold the hand of the lost and guide them home. Frozen breath confesses love to the heartless, viewed from afar this love has only shown its face to the beholder. He presents a hopeful gift, a head of petals standing ontop of a thorn filled neck. As the whisper reaches the scarlot ears of this beauty, she turns in distgust, snapping the small fragile body of the rose. It falls to the ground, and is instantly blackend by the wrath of heartbreak. Isolated again it digs into the frostbitten dirt, this last feeble attempt at life seems pitiful to the eyes of glory. The burning weather gives no haste to the bones of the heartbroken. A hateful flame seeks into the tearful bloodstream. Settles itself in below his clouded thoughts. It burns away the thought of everything pure, only leaves room for evils and wrong-doings. Through these steps of sloth a nightmear appears in daylight. A featherfilled warmth lies onto a soft, cold, powdery pillow. Away from the eyes of joyous laughter, a small crimson crawl melts the ice of the previous night. The cause of the red pool is not sharp, nor is it loud. The cause is a small seven letter interjection of rejection. The loss of hope, and a tiny broken heart that has been exploded by fear.It weeps its contents onto the slick pavement. Taking the life of a small boy who's only crime was adoreing a beauty.