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Fuck this place

I need help finding the real me

This world cannot stand me any longer

This damn world is bring me down

Into a deep dark hole that I really don't want to be in



It's getting worst and it's just hurting me even more

No one to help me any longer

It's getting worst and it's just hurting me even more

No one to help me any longer



This world cannot take my life any longer

I will be taking control of every move from you

Your just bringing me down

Into what you call your home



Your just getting so old

I cannot stand you're feed back

Your just getting so old

I cannot stand you're feed back



It's getting old, but you keep coming back to me

I can't believe that you are so stupid that

You would take me as a fool



It's getting worst and its just hurting me even more

No one to help me any longer

Your just getting so old

I cannot stand you're feed back

It's getting worst and it's just hurting me even more

COMMENTS

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aerostotle
11:34 Mar 31 2010

I LOVE THIS I COULDNT AGREE MORE

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The anger you start

doesn't seem to be enough

You just like to put people in pain

You've hurt me so

much in the past

that I can't stand it...

DON'T YOU SEE



You've put me through so much,

That I can't even breath,

I can't just hold all this shit inside of me,

Do you understand me like you say you do?,

I don't think you do!,

If you did you wouldn't put me

throught all this pain,

If you understood how I feel inside

How much I

hurt, cry, hate

all the anger, all the cuts,

maybe you'd stop then



All this doesn't seem

to be emough for

you, all you want is

to hurt the people

around you,

you don't see!...



How much damage your doing its not enough

that you hurt the people

around you, but you don't seem to see

How much we

all hurt, cry, hate

all the shit we go through

the problems going on with

you happen to us all...

Your not the only one!

Screams in my head, no more reasons for me to go ,everyone pushes me one way, then pulling me the other,

not to much fun there

been abused most my life, been kicked around and

punished for things I never did,

to much there (can't take this life much life much longer)

beed around drugs most of my life, done drugs (what's new with that)



People not understand how I feel and whats

going on (on the inside)

not knowing what is truth from false

My mind is spinning from to many thoughts at one time

make it stop I just want it to stop



I've lived in so many different ways

Moving around like a stray cat

Been screaming for help from someone

I've been trying to find bright stop in a dull area

hoping to find a reason to continue living

Why shouldn't I kill myself, would it ne easier

No, its just worthless



People not understanding how I feel and whats

going on (on the inside)

not knowing what is truth from false

my mind is spinning from to many thoughts at one time

make it stop I just want it to stop



Fucked up people not being truthful

Using me for the time being until I break

until I fall intoa deep black hole and lose myself

to their hatred, its not going to happen

You can go FUCK OFF!!

You told me you loved me, you fucked with my mind,

I believed it and you betrayed me,

I was your best friend and thought that

I could trust you,

But you still fucked with me again,

That was in the olden days, when I was naive

and now I've learned from my mistakes

and I'm not going too believe that shit anymore

I won't be naive any longer

I've changed



I've learned that nobady is to be trusted at first sight

That they must show me what they really want from me

To know that I'm not being used as a toy for what they want



I want to trust you, but I can't

I want to know you, but you won't let me close

what goes thourgh your mind, I wish I knew

You lie to me time and time again and you wonder

why I don't love you!



What you told me was all lies

Just so that you could get what you wanted from me

I won't be fouled by you any longer

I've grown up since you last saw me

Let's just put it this way

You want something you can't have

And you'll never have it again



I'velearned that nobady is to be trusted at first sight

That they must show me what they really want from me

To know that I'm not being used as a toy for what they want



I want to trust you, but I can't

I want to know you, but you won't let me close

what goes on in your mind, I wish I knew

You lie to me time and again and you wonder

why I don't love you!

All the things you told me,

left long ago,

I never listened then,

What makes you think I'll listen now

Your words are useless to me.



I don't want your hypocritical thinking around,

How hard is that to understand

Get the fuck away from me, you fucked up

version of the human race



I tell you time and time agian,

I fucking hate you and I never want to see you ever agian,

but still you keep coming back for more,

trying so hard to be something that your not,

just so I'll be your friend



Remembering once that you told me

you'd never change for anyone,

so why change for me,

I'm not the one for you,

when will you get that though your fucking head



I don't want your hypocritical thinking around,

How hard is that to understand

Get the fuck away from me,

You fucked up version of the human race

Lights surround me as everything flys by me at speeds I can't understand.

The fear of letting go and having endless boring days that mean absolutely nothing to me come across my mind.

What would I do if out of no where I lost everyone dear and close to me?

I simply wouldn't be able to handle it.

It would just kill me.

It'd be like the old days when I relied on drugs.

I'm not exactly sure if I'd go back to my old habits, but either way it wouldn't be good.

In the end I'd end up being the emotionless person I use to be and I really wouldn't like that.

I'd have to start over with everything once agian.

It'd be a fucked up senerio and people would end up seeing me back at my worst and I really don't want that.

If the ones that know me knew everything about me there'd be no way that they'd still be talking to me.

But if they knew me for who I am today maybe they wouldn't care about the things I did in my past.

Everyday something new to add to this addiction,

when will this shit end,

when will all this shit put an end to my life,

the addiction gets harder and harder to get past,

when your body needs the feeling, the taste!



How much am I willing to risk for this life,

Do I really want it that badly,

that I'd give up my life

I don't really want to think about it



I've lived a chemical life for to long

when will this all end

How long am I expected to survive

this treachrous life ( all that I hate )

to much time and sorrow

to put this brhind me



How much am I willing to risk for this life,

Do I really want it that badly,

that I'd give up my life

I don't really want to think about it



All the secrets and denial

When will it all end

All I want is for it to be all over

Or for my life to be free from all of this

I want my freedom, but it doesn't seem to happen that way



How much am I willing to risk for this life,

Do I really want it that badly,

that I'd give up my life

I don't really want to think about it

Best friends to the end was what we said

but its changed over time

we were once so close and now were lost forever

I can never understand what happened

nor do I want to

The way we acted was inapporiate

we went from loving to hating



Its surprising how one person can change your life

how it can ruin or build a relationship

we can look back and try to find what we once had

or we can rebuild a new relationship



A lot has changed and I haven't seen you for a while

some have changed for the worst and others for the best,

but in other ways it will never matter

what we once had is destoryed

I missed you and I'll always love you

but that will never change anything that happened

what we had is gone and truthfully I wan it to stay this way



Its surprising how one person can change your life

how it can ruin or build a relationship

we can look back and try to find what we once had

or we can rebuild a new relationship



I still ask myself why we can't get our friendship back together

I really wish that we could have our friendship back

I don't want it to be like what it was

Only the friendship

Some things will never change, but at least we could try



Its surprising how one person can change your life

how it can ruin or build a relationship

we can look back and try to find what we once had

or we can rebuild a new relationship



Its surprising how one person can change your life

how it can ruin or build a relationship

we can look back and try to find what we once had

or we can rebuild a new relationship

As it starts to rain you look to my face

For a sign of life or emotion,

but you will never understand me

and my issues for they don't live in your world.

Maybe one day I'll make you understand,

or maybe one day I'll go through with my plans,

Hopefully you won't leave before I get

the chance to explian to you why I love you



I fear the day that you leave

and it makes me think back to memories long.

So attached, I don't want to pain you,

afriad to hurt you and have you leave.

I fear the day that you leave

and it makes me think back to memories long.

So attached, I don't want to pain you,

afriad to hurt you and have you leave.



I am not to be trusted

I don't really care what happens

Maybe sometimes I think of all the stupid things I've done

but I don't regret any of it

All I care about is your attention

Still frightened to get to involved



Rain continues to pour down upon my face

I look up to you, see my mistakes in your face,

and I ask myself why, why did I do this to you

I'm now commited to every image, every scene,

to your scent, taste, the way you hold me,

I remember every moment, every feeling I get when I'm with you,

but is this really what I want



I fear the day that you leave

and it makes me think back to memories long.

So attached, I don't want to pain you,

afriad to hurt you and have you leave.



I am not to be trusted.

I don't really care what happens.

Maybe sometimes I think of all the stupid things I've done.



I fear the day that you leave

and it makes me think back to memories long.

So attached, I don't want to pain you,

afriad to hurt you and have you leave.



I don't regret any of it

All I care about is your attention

still frightened to get to involved

Listening to music may not be that fun..

nor reading a magazine..

but as long as I'm with you!

we can do everything hun..



as long as I'm with you..

I can climb the Everest

I can cross the widest river!

I can reach stars..with one touch of your hand..I can do everything no one could ever stand!



as long as I'm with you..

the simplest things can lead to endless pleasures..

we can fly to the skies above..no one could ever measure!..

baby, you and I are a found treasure!



we can challenge our fears..

be there when we cry!

wipe each other tears..

hold to happiness even if we're meant to fly...



and when the nights are lonely and cold..

we'll cling into each other!

never let go...our hands we'll hold!

never quit thinking we're here together until the end of forever!



the smell of your perfume is like the night breeze flattering my face!

the touch of your hands or your warm embrace..

when it comes to this I'm truly in lust..

how could I pick one of my favorite must??



when I'm with you...

everything seems to be prettier!

if I'm cold..somehow I feel warmth!

if I'm starting to crumble..somehow a smile tints on my face...somehow it feels like my favorite place..



where ever I am if I'm with you..I feel home

because I know...whatever happens..you'll be there!

you'll be there for me until dawn..

fighting all my fears..you'll dare!



suddenly when you say I love you..

I feel like they're the only words I ever knew..

like whatever I ought to be I can do!

I only know to say one extra word and that's too!!



for you...I can live day by day..

I can hush all the secrets away..

because without your whispers the night is so loud!

without you myself I'd never found!



with you in my life..no song can express..

what you make me feel...how it's so real!

all the love words seem wrong!

for you are there for me all along..



so baby stay with me..

because after all I've said..and all I've done..

if there's more I can show you would see!

because now you realize..all that you do..

how much I'm happy "AS LONG AS I'M WITH YOU"

Fill me up and poor me down

watch my heart bob then slowly begin to drown

you take my hand but can not pull hard enough

its OK life is tough

my mind wonders but when gone you don't leave it

your love your care keeps my heart warmer then a mitt

don't ever flow away in this never ending black sea

so hold tight and never let go of me

my heart skips a beet with your words, and races with your kisses

you are the only one this heart misses

the only one that plunges me deeper into this sea of emotional wonders

where once inside you forget all life's blunders

take my breath away every moment I'm with you

don't be surprised if my face goes blue

my hearts beets every second every moment for your love

an angle with no wings but you seem to come from nowhere but above

a surprise in the midnight sky

a surprise that lit up my life and made my heart fly

so plunge me deeper into this sea of wonders and love

brace your heart and watch mine fly away like a dove

The warmth your eyes bring to my heart

Is the greatest feeling in my world

How you use to look in my eyes

Still makes my heart flutter



Your sweet taste... smell...

The way you’d touch me so gently

The way you held me

Holds my heart



You are my one and only

I’ll never feel the way I do for anyone but you!

I love you so much

I will forever and always be yours!

I am truely sorry!

Anger, rage, darken skys

I want this pain to be ended

But will it ever or do I really have to die for that

I am not afriad of death never have been and I never will be

It will be an extremely happy day when the pain finally ends



But will it ever

I fucking hope so



I want it to I want my love back

But will he ever come back

This I truely don’t know



All I can do is hope

The movement of attraction is just a bit confusing

You never know whats going to happen

Most of the time you don’t want to know

Or if you should question it

But the days move forward

And each day you get older and older

You see things you’ve never seen before

Things that half the time you didn’t want to know

But the problems still arise

Even when you try changing what is wrong

You learn that life is not easy

And never will be

Nothing you do will ever make it completely easy



Doing the right things can help

But it won’t make everything better



Not everything your told is the truth

Even if you want it to be

You just have to let things fall into place

And hope that everything will be okay

Even if it turns out to be false



The people you love move on

Whether you want them to or not

Theres nothing you can do to change it

Its just a part fo life

COMMENTS

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aerostotle
02:14 Jun 23 2010

every one of them are well written and i know where u are coming from there is someone though who wants to take u and help u fly like an eagle free and wild and brave and even all powerful keep searching

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Brahadair
02:20 Jun 23 2010

Heh this writing along with some others had to do with an ex of mine.

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