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Beloved Daughter of Nyx, I ask you to accept my Warrior's Oath. Sworn to you this day I pledge to protect you with my heart, my mind, my body, and my soul. I pledge to belong to you before all others, and to be your warrior until I draw my last breath on this world, and beyond, if our Goddess so wills it. Do you accept my oath?

For once in my life I am going to tell the truth. I realize now that I can't be afriad of the unknown. I have to let go of everything I know and start fresh.



I'm not afriad anymore!!



The truth:



I love having friends and I hate being alone.



I love being around the people I care about.



I can be a bitch, but thats only toward people that give me an aditude.



I'm not very good at opening up and that is because I am afriad of getting hurt.



I can sometimes be hyperactive and can make random noises.



Singing and dancing are two things that make me very happy.



I use music to calm me down, music also lifts my mood.



I'm a very artistic person, I love art and it gives me something fun to do.



Love Is One Of The Best Things In The World If You Open Up To It!



.....and thats what I am trying to do, stay open to all things and to do what is right.....

COMMENTS

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FallenKnight
01:19 Feb 08 2010

So the question is what caused you to tell the truth compared to the other times and how should people of acquiantence know this is the truth??

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Bloodmother
18:56 Mar 13 2010

I believe you as long as you believe in yourself. Just keep telling yourself that even when you're afraid and each step forward in the face of fear will bring you closer to the person you want to be.

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Well lets start it off as I was born March 27, 1988 at 9:55 in the morning at St.Joseph Hospital in Nashua, NH. My full name is Jennifer Ann Resnick. My mothers maiden name is Paula Ann Goddard. My fathers name is Michael Joseph Resnick.



I was born into a family of disordered confusion. My father and mother were a mess to begin with. Both of which are drug addicts. My father was a dealer and owned his own pianting bussiness and my mother worked for him.



I grew up with my father beating my mother and me. I had to watch as my father would beat my mother. I had to watch my controling father push my mother out of my life. My father made it so my mother couldn't see me for most of my life. He took control of me by using the court system to make it so my mother or me had no say in what happened to me.



My father was arrested when I was in 6th grade for drug distrubution and I was focred to make a life changing move to my grandparents house in Merrimack, NH.



I will start from what I remember. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, when I was in first grade, to my father pinning my mother on the bed and he had her by the throat and all I could do was act like nothing happened. I remember my mom telling me that it would be all over soon and that she would take me away from all the pain and hurt and yet I go away to visit with my grandparents and when I'd come back I'd find out my father had took a knife to my mother. I had to see my mother in pain to many times.



Finially when my dad got control of me, he kicked my mother out of my life and from what I know she got more into drugs. I remember special occasions when I'd actually get to see my mom and she'd tell me: I wished on a star last night that I could see you and here I am.



My mother is my world, she is the one person that I'd lose control over if I ever lost her!!



On another note...my school life wasn't that good either. I went to 14 different schools before I dropped out. I went to schools in Manchester, NH; Nashua, NH; Merrimack,NH; schools in Vermont; Keene,NH; Milford, NH; and others that I can't even remember.



I remember people hating me from a early start in school. In first grade in Catholic school, my only friends with guys. There is a reason why I have so many guy friends and that is because from a early age guys were the only people I got along with. They were the only ones that understood me. Maybe its because I grew up around all guys or maybe its just because girls have never really accepted me.



I think my worst part in life was when I went to Dr.Crisp in Nashua, NH. And it wasn't even the school it was my father and his girlfriend who was only 10 years older then me. This was the time that I found out my dad was really into drugs and that he was dealing. I knew only part of it before. I was in 6th grade when I was there. This around the time that my father got arrested and the summer after my 5th grade year. On July 4th of 1999, I was almost killed by my father, from him beating me and from i6t causing a asma attack. He then would leave his girlfriend home during the day so that I could leave the house, couldn't talk to anyone and when someone did come to see me they'd make me go into my room and say I wasn't home. I found a easy escape, one was my window cause I found out it was easy to sneak out of and second was music. I started singing more and dancing agian like I had done before the new girlfriend entered the picture. I also started writing my own lyrics and teaching my self how to stretch my vocals........to be continued

COMMENTS

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markus666
17:37 Jan 05 2010

I don't know what to tell you. life is a complex place. We don't ask to be born and we don't ask to die. But, what ever is between, we must look for those small moments of happiness, ie, when your mother came to see you, and keep those moment alive. What happen to your father? Is he still in Jail?

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Bloodmother
19:00 Mar 13 2010

Don't stop. The story continues.

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