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Ive come to realize a great many things...and my love...and affection being one of them

Getting over somebody is hard..I should know....since it is taking me forever...>__>

But after some time...you start to feel refreshed and new...like you can do anything....and that that person who dumped you, did you a favor. to me it feels like Ethan did me a favor...like he was trying to help me be a better person. and I feel like ive reached that goal. and i couldnt thank him in any way....he still means so much to me and I still love him to death..though slowly and surely....i am getting over him....and realizing...that we are just to be friends....nothing more...nothing less....maybe we were never meant to be...maybe i read the signs wrong...i dont know..but.....day after day goes by...and less and less i see him...the more and more i get over him....but everytime i see him...and hug him...i want to hold onto him forever....like we promised we would...there were two promises i made to him....one of them...was to stay by his side forever...like he promised me...the second...was to stay alive for him...i would do anything for Ethan...even give up my own life to let him live. my feelings for him will NEVER change. but the fact that we will never be together and happy again is becoming more and more clear. i do not hate him...or Brina. I do not hate anyone but myself. i have fucked over a great something....and I must suffer the consequences on my own..and thats ok..because it will make me become a better and stronger person.



I dont know about you, but I am pretty goddamn proud of myself. I am finally starting to move on...Though of course you know me...I will still cry over him. And I will always talk about him...And I will always love him. thats just something that will NEVER change...

I love him. GET OVER IT!!! I dont care what you have to say. I dont fucking care if he is with Brina or anyone else. I love him and you cant do anything to stop me from loving him. Even in death I will still love him.





Slowly but surely......Things move on....People move on....I move .. on to better things, better people, and better days.





By the next year rolls around. Just take a good look at me. And you wont recognize me. Thats how different I will be.





And thats thanks to E-kun.

COMMENTS

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MrD
06:37 Nov 06 2008

Moving on can be a difficult thing, and I'm glad to see you are handling it as well as you are. You are correct when you speak of tomorrow, "..better things, better people, and better days".



I do hope that you continue to feel this way and proceed to create the best possible you for the year to come. I've enjoyed this journal.



- D

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