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BleedingPolaroid's Journal


BleedingPolaroid's Journal

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9 entries this month
 

Boom

00:57 May 29 2006
Times Read: 724










So I graduated, I'm an "adult" now...lol..Riggghht. No.



It was fun, I sat near the baddest people, so it was entertaining. I messed up on the hand shaking, and probably made a fool of myself infront of the board people when they gave me my diploma, but eh whatever.



after that, I went with the family and stuff. Stupid restaurant people sang to me, You know how hard it is to give an "eat shit and die" look while your chewing. >;/



The Ben and Haylee came over and spent the night, got up and then went to Mal's party..which was Awesome.



Gaint blow slides and wrestling rings + water = chaos













Kenna, Matt and I got bored and ran away from the people to the graveyard.....









Look at the craziness of that picture, two matts and two kennas.







Rawr


COMMENTS

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Fear.

23:31 May 25 2006
Times Read: 728






I'm so terrified.



Not of tomorrow, that'd be silly....



But in a few months...I'll start college... get another job (not that bad)...people will start looking at me weird after august, when i say i live with my mom (kinda-ish)...they'll expect me to..





Grow up.





Nasty.





I've never wanted to run away, as bad as i do right now.

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You spin me right round

02:38 May 21 2006
Times Read: 733


So my friday, was such a cool day. I went to school I did well on 2 of the 3 finals i took. Then I went to the senior picnic got to munch on awesome food and the leave early. Afterward, we went to a yard sale wheer I found the coolest record ever...









It's got a story book, sing a long and it tales the story so you dont have to read!



Today I went to ren fest, i'll post most of the picture in my portfolio. It was so fun, I actually had money this year to buy stuff..still not enough for clothes though. :[ But I got a new pentacle, a tarot necklace (the moon- Life of imagination) and...









*drool* This is by far my favorite painting ever, and when I saw it I almost fainted. they had a big painting but that was 500.00 dollars, so i got the smaller version.



It was a fun day.

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I'll keep them still...

05:09 May 18 2006
Times Read: 736






















drink up, baby, stay up all night

the things you could do, you won't but you might

the potential you'll be that you'll never see

the promises you'll only make

drink up with me now and forget all about the pressure of days

do what i say and i'll make you okay and drive them away

the images stuck in your head

people you've been before that you don't want around anymore

that push and shove and won't bend to your will

i'll keep them still

drink up, baby, look at the stars, i'll kiss you again

between the bars where i'm seeing you

there with your hands in the air waiting to finally be caught

drink up one more time and i'll make you mine

keep you apart deep in my heart separate from the rest

where i like you the best

and keep the things you forgot

the people you've been before that you don't want around anymore

that push and shove and won't bend to your will

i'll keep them still





This song puts me in a peace, I put on repeat and i feel nice and comfy. :]

COMMENTS

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It is if everyone dies alone.

04:34 May 14 2006
Times Read: 738


I realized today, that life, is worthless. You go through life with a inner desire for something better, and you know, deep down within, what you choose to ignore, that you will never find it, but you keep on going. You smile, and you keep taking it. My whole life, is shit. Everyone in my life, my past, present and most likely future. They leave, they forget, they abandon, they stop caring, they become human voids to me. I use to picture, a murder coming into my room, and slaughtering me. I imagined, how'd they react, the ones that say they care.



I don't understand it. I try everyday, every minute, to be a good daughter, friend, girlfriend, sister, student. To be a good person. I try and hope that me trying will bring something good into my life. Why is life so hard, why do others get it easy. I want one good thing to happen and not turn bad in the end, just one. I'll keep this, and never complain again, if I could have that one thing. I fail at everything...school, relationships, my family, friendships. I'm never good enough for them, for no one, I fall short. I try, go, but things go wrong, there isn't enough paste to fix it all.



I watched Donnie Darko today, I love the movie. It holds truth. Everyone dies alone. You can try to be good, you can be rich, you can be famous, married and be in love..but in the end you are alone. I think everyone is alone, on the inside. We just lie to ourselves, detach from reality and tell ourselves we have others who care. But really, we don't..no one really cares, if it you was you or them, they'd pick them. No true sacrifices exist. Everyone is in it for their own. That is where sadness comes from, reality. If you live in you imagination, you never feel real things. I think my life is more livable that way.



- Lyrics-



All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, worn out faces

Bright and early for their daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere

And their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression, no expression

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow

No tomorrow, no tomorrow



-



Concrete and water, she's looking for her daughter

At midnight in torrential downpour.

And everything I said about how messed your head is,

Was cut up and left in bits and pieces on the cutting room floor



-

Lie to me, cry to me, give to me

I would

Lie with me, die with me, give to me

I would

Keep all your secrets wrapped in dead hair



-

I can't go on, digging roses from you grave

To linger on, beyond the beyond

Where the willows weep

And whirlpools sleep, you'll find me

The coarse tide reflects sky

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The stars under our feet, well it's the year to be hated.

00:31 May 09 2006
Times Read: 744


So I found out today in art, that the art show thingy is Saturday. I'm really excited, it's hard to think that my stuff is good enough for people to look at, makes me happy , like this :D. I've always loved art, and for my stuff to be in an art show is very satisfying.



Okay, this shows how much of an idiot I was to ever date my ex Josh. We broke up a year ago, blah blah I haven't talked to him in forever, nor do I want to talk to him. Because he is, was, always will be a...dickhead. I got on the internet today and he imed me...



Mr Cremate (5:18:58 PM): ahh your still alive

Petite Mortea18 (5:19:11 PM): of course

Mr Cremate (5:19:27 PM): hmm dunno if thats a pity or a pleasure

Petite Mortea18 (5:19:36 PM): :/

Petite Mortea18 (5:19:51 PM): ah still being an ass i see

Mr Cremate (5:20:12 PM): no, just honest

Petite Mortea18 (5:20:24 PM): yeah




Now really, wtf? Couldn't he just of saved that. That has no meaning, their was no reason for it. Just wanted to be a douche bag. Idiot.



We have senior week next week, which is a week we can dress up and are special and all. Well we got shitty days..



Monday-Hawiian day

Tuesday- Career day

Wedsnday- College day

Thursday- Pirate day (school mascot)

Friday- Senior tshirt day



Lame.



Two weeks to go. Oh no. Dance a lot, and watch the ink blots grow. This is my lil poem, notcha know. Giggity giggity and all that jazz. do a lil dance with my ass.



Oh i found out today, My friend Kenna REALLY is Mexican. Did not know that, i thought we were just joking. lol.

COMMENTS

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Aqui.

22:30 May 05 2006
Times Read: 747


We have to make a movie in graphic art, and Im working with Kenna, Kim, Mal, and Haylee. Our movie will be called "Denile ain't the only river in mexico". Its about our friend, Kenna being in denile about being a mexican. (joke we do bc her last name is Martinez.) I think I will do my own movie, like on the side. I want it to look like Sasmhing Pumpkin's "thirty three" video.*drool*

Finals in two weeks >


I don't want to grow up. :[


COMMENTS

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Repeat Repeat Repeat.

05:17 May 02 2006
Times Read: 751


Drink up, baby, stay up all night

the things you could do, you won't but you might

the potential you'll be that you'll never see

the promises you'll only make

drink up with me now and forget all about the pressure of days

do what i say and i'll make you okay and drive them away

the images stuck in your head

people you've been before that you don't want around anymore

that push and shove and won't bend to your will

i'll keep them still

drink up, baby, look at the stars, i'll kiss you again

between the bars where i'm seeing you

there with your hands in the air waiting to finally be caught

drink up one more time and i'll make you mine

keep you apart deep in my heart separate from the rest

where i like you the best

and keep the things you forgot

the people you've been before that you don't want around anymore

that push and shove and won't bend to your will

i'll keep them still




I really like this song on repeat.

COMMENTS

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Holiday.

18:01 May 01 2006
Times Read: 753


Happy Beltane!



Mayday mayday mayday... (haha)



Rawrrrr.



Almost had a food fight at lunch today.



Wowsers

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