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So the end to one journey has come, my mother past into the darkness to be greeted with the light to guide her to her next journey.



I sometimes find it hard to put feelings into words im not a social person and keep to my self alot, if I can only express what im going through at the moment in a few words they would, stricken, broken, lost. I find it hard to believe that today is actually here more like I haven't woken from a nightmare and im stuck for good here.



They tell me it will get better and it will I know that, she is no longer in any pain and has moved on her light carries her to new places and she lives for ever in me.



This is were there words stop, nothing comes to the surface nothing can push through the darkness that sits within in me, I felt reclusive before felt shut off, now I feel empty , soulless.



Im broken, lost, stricken the path in front of me is dark and has many obstacles im afraid but that's life, there's no other way to go then forward no matter how hard it is.



I Love you mom, R.I.P forever will you be with me and others, you changed everyone's life for the better with the light you brought into it and for that we thank you.



You loving son x x x

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ImageMaker
14:34 Oct 30 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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DestroyingAngel
22:06 Oct 30 2010

I dont know what else to say sweetheart...

I am so sorry. I am always here for you Jon. Always.

I miss mom too. She was so good to me....and I just fell in love with that woman. Im glad that we got to know each other and that I can carry those precious memories with me until we are ALL reuinited in that place of light. Our next journey.

*hugggsss and doesn't let go*

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bellasiren
20:20 Nov 16 2010

aww hugs xx u know where i am if ya need me hunny xx

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The stench is filling my nose so much im creasing at my stomach, it takes everything in me not to want to puke. If your wondering what im talking about well my mother had a hip replacement but they never gave her a pressure matress for her bed, so she has devloped pressure sores on her back.



Seems when these fuckers burst it smells like a dead body in your house, I know shes my mom but this smell is worse then when i saw my dads body in the hospital...



I just want out of here, but i need to look after her... im going to puke i cant handle this... i dont know how people do it even when im not here i can still smell it...



Its horrible...

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DestroyingAngel
02:46 Oct 25 2010

Oh my god, what the hell are they doing to her already?! :(

Im so sorry to hear that your mother is going through this.

Im sorry to hear that YOU have to go through this with her. Caring for somebody after a surgery like that is one of the hardest things to do. That smell is horrible by the way....

My friend's mom went through almost the exact same thing. You need to be all over their case about that matress. There's no excuse for bullshit like that. None whatsoever. Send my love to mom and let her know that I love her and miss her so much. Know that I love you very much and miss you even more!

*hugggsss*

You're doing an amazing job Jon, remember that! Im so proud of you!

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So Friday night sitting at home was going out but guess that dint work out as well as i planned, very drunk at the moment taking the edge off a shit week.



So not to sure how many people actually read the shit i write and im sure that's a good thing as it really cant help that many people.



So anyone else not finding the point in existence i mean Jesus, this week i think ive heard every fucking reason why were here, aliens put us on the planet, some big guy with a beard stuck us here , were a freak accident i aint to sure but why is it you cant find out the ultimate purpose in life until your dead.



It seems fucked up that what ever the purpose in life is that they dont want anyone alive knowing everyone who has died knows exactly what this life is for and what it means, damn if it wasn't wanting to visit every historical site on the planet sometimes i wish i was dead and before some of you think omg he wants to die , i have no sadness just the curiosity of what this is all about.



Hence im not afraid of dying on the contrary kinda looking forward to it :)

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DestroyingAngel
06:17 Oct 11 2010

Dude...

Just LIVE life out. The reason for it comes to us later on.

By the way...stop letting chicks sit on your balls so much. It's cutting off valuable circulation to your brain, man lol. :P

*please dont murder me lol*

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