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So I'm going on vacation to disneyworld in orlando, florida if anyone wants to know. I'll be gone for a little over a week, so sorry if I don't respond to messages and crap as fast as you might like. Other than that, see yah round.

So my weekend was spent helping my older brother move into a new apartment with his two sons. He's getting a divorce so that's a load of fun. It's for the best, the two of them never really got along, and she never really matured enough to be a good mom. When I was there for one of the boys's birthday, I don't remember her coming out of her room long enough to tell him happy birthday. What kind of mother doesn't tell her own kid happy birthday? The boys seem to be happier now, so that's a good thing. I've been really worried about them. Despite not actually giving birth to them, I practically am their mother, especially Cade, the oldest. He used to live with me and I took care of him, until his parents decided to take him back. Oh well, I need to go and get some sleep. I'll try to write more later.

What can I write that would not be cliche, typical of a depressed young woman with few hopes and scattered dreams? Today I was asked to write an essay defending my life, to write about things that I regret. It would have been far easier to ask me what I don't regret. That list would be a far cry shorter, and easier to talk about. But the things that I do regret, the pain that I am filled with at the mere memory, it's almost more than I can bear.

I cannot leave here, I cannot stay,

Forever haunted, more than afraid.

Asphyxiate on words I would say,

I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue.



There are no flowers, no not this time,

There'll be no angels gracing the lines,

Just these stark words, I find.

I'd show a smile, but i'm too weak,

I'd share with you could I only speak,

Just how much this, hurts me.



I cannot stay here, I cannot leave,

Just like all I loved, I make believe.

Imagine heart, I disappear, seems,

No one will appear, here and make me real.



There are no flowers, no not this time,

There'll be no angels gracing the lines,

Just these stark words, I find.

I'd show a smile, but i'm too weak,

I'd share with you could I only speak,

Just how much this, hurts me.



I'd tell you how it haunts me,

I'd tell you how it haunts me,

(cuts through my day, and sinks into my dreams.)

I'd tell you how it haunts me,

(cuts through my day, and sinks into my dreams.)

You don't care that it haunts me.



Oh,

There are no flowers, no not this time,

There'll be no angels gracing the lines,

Just these stark words, I find.

I'd show a smile, but i'm too weak,

I'd share with you could I only speak,

Just how much this, hurts me.



Just how much this, hurts me.



Just how much you...