The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

“When you’re desperate you do what you have to do.” Angel said to Gunn, as they searched a motel room, after the re-born Darla had disappeared.

I’d intended to have a pleasant quiet weekend. It’d been a plan ~ a good plan.

But, what is it they say about the best laid plans of mice and men?

Anyway… I slept well. And, I nearly cut the top off the forefinger of my left hand, while preparing my evening meal.

As it was, it bled for ages; and I’ve only sliced a chunk. Little Mother who did my First Aid, (as usual) has now banned me from carving knives. She had bound it tight, so it might knit properly.



But, thinking about it, I’m glad I haven’t been taking my, ‘anti-tingle’ tablets of late, as they’re an anti-coagulant and it was pretty bad. And, I’d visions of me bleeding to death.

Aye, ever the drama queen, eh? Yet it was scary at the time.

To write objectively of a thing, is one thing.

Yet, after a drought and a long spell without,

I was able to acquire what I’d wanted: albeit

the green and not solid. And afterward, on the

way home I sat down to write some creative prose.

And, there was something I missed, when I’d

written of how to acquire and that was how

good it is to feel real, in a world of plastic.

Yet, once acquired; that feeling is as personal

as it is; and should not written of objectively,

but rather enjoyed; for that moment of Now;

and not explained away with a just mere mouthful

of words.

On Monday I spent my time avoiding serial numbers in the best way possible, I learnt something. With help I turned a Windows 98 machine into a Windows 2000 machine; and at the same time, albeit not literally, I changed it from Fat 32 system to NTFS

And, although I had questioned a lot of people, perhaps to the point of irritation.

Yet the feeling of satisfaction gained was the highest natural high I have know.

Then, as I’d walked down the corridor with an empty mail cage, which had held empty boxes at 5:10 I was asked “You doin overtime, to which I’d said, “No, just doing what I started” to the fellow who had spoken, as I walked through the open plan office, toward where I sit in our enclave, ‘The IT Room’ to find my coat and then begin the journey home…

I’ve been thinking.

Been thinking.

Everything can have… no, whoa… try again.

As I understand it ~ everything that is, can have a series of Now’s.

That is to say: the acquisition of an article and the series of actions leading to its eventual acquisition can be a Now ~ and the present is its acquisition.

But, that was only an example ~ a meandered musing.

Perhaps the search for the article was in vain. What then?

How could that itself have a causal effect? Perhaps, in truth, the answer is naught.

For all our conceived perceptions are quite illusory, when faced with the practical realities of modern day life. That is a Now.

And, I had been musing on dear old Maslow.

Some people, albeit not that many, never get past that initial first couple of levels.

For instance, they might have a roof over their head, yet they never get past that need for acquisition.

I’m quite sure many could recognize that scenario.

Yet, it does illustrate a point, I suppose. Acquisition is.

And, what we know and who we know can be tools in a fashion, to acquire and satiate our need: and the Now.

I mean, there are those who can help us acquire what we want, or in the case of some individuals, need; and, there are also others whose very presence seems to assist in the act of acquisition.

Did that make sense?

There are those people there to help you acquire it; whilst it can be obtained with the assistance of others. But, there are pitfalls that can ensue from this, which multiply exponentially with Need.

There are those who can help us to acquire and there are those who can acquire for us.

Two way’s of leading to its possession.

There are those people there to help one acquire, whilst it can be obtained, with the assistance of others; but this route can be fraught with pitfalls. For instance issues of trust can be brought forth, or one can fall foul of the barriers toward one’s acquisition, of which there are many, like lack of funds, lack of transport; and, the law.

But, then there are those individual whose company allows you the contacts to the people you need to know, to acquire. And, to acquire for oneself, with no third party issues can be the safer option, as previously suggested.

Dear old Maslow talked of his ‘Hierarchy of Need.’ But, when expectation is being continually being driven upward for many, in every that we see and experience: just how are man’s expectations to be met?

But, what’s the point in writing something down as I have?

Simply to understand: for with understanding true perception can follow.

Life seems to be about perceived understanding.

Everything can have meaning: every action, or non-action can have meaning.

But, the nature of truth is very personal. One sees a headline. It is in black and white, so it must be true.

Until the majority of us stop and think about it, that is how we think and understand.

Everything has meaning: and, relevance to an individual.

Yet that relevance is based on a persons own personal belief systems and all that has gone into its creation.

Every perception is based on one’s understanding. That in itself must be reasoned understanding, otherwise a decision that is made will be based on a false perception.

Therefore it can be reasoned that a false perception can lead to one making a bad decision.

In essence, once acquisition has been made that is all… for the Now of one’s Need has ended, for now.

Yet there are those whose lives are caught in a revolving door, repeating events they have lived through, within a system that seems designed to perpetuate itself.

And consider this, if you will?

Have you ever noticed that when you complete a list of synonyms for a word or phrase, it is easier to list the negatives, rather than the positive?

I wonder if his might suggest that we have a natural predisposition to do so, hence the results produced?

It could also suggest an innate desire to deny our word-power, as ‘dumbing down’ becomes more fashionable.

Could it be that we ourselves in a similar manner, considering our lower values to be of more worth than our higher?

After all, as a species, man is a selfish animal and most acquisition is of a very personal nature; some might say selfish.

Therefore it could be suggested that acquisition ascribes to a facet of man’s addictive nature. It is this that makes the action of acquisition so intense.

It is one man, or woman’s journey personal Need. And, although that path can be injurious to oneself, it has to be followed.

Indeed, that path can be full of those negative values, so producing a poor lifestyle, in comparison with their peers, when the Need to acquire exclusivity of all else is where addiction is the sole focus of an individual’s experience.

And, is any obsession good for the individual, when it acts to limit ones experience?

Why is it that there are those, who seem to spend their lives spent, caught within a revolving door: repeating things that they’ve done before?

These individuals are caught within a system that seems to perpetuate itself, with their aid, or without it.

There are patterns within the lives that we lead, that we can see if we but stop to look for them: cycles that can be changed, with thought and action.

But, that entails making a decision.

Just think of how often we say to ourselves, “I’m not going to do that again.”

And, then we do ~ whilst after almost every national disaster the findings of the ensuing public enquiry of the government of the day is the same, ‘We must ensure that this sort of thing never happens again.’

And, it always does, happen again…

Very few people like making decisions. After all, to make one means making a choice. To make a choice we take a risk.

And very few people like taking on too great a risk: especially when they could be wrong. Yet, I digress… don’t I?

Nothing is new. For example: the purchase of a small black book A5 with feint lines, in which to write original thoughts has been done before.

I watched Thursday on Friday, having stayed up till early Saturday morning, to see it.

Of all the post-Tarantino films that were made, I do think it’s one of the best, as the lead encounters the worst day of his life, when his past catches up with him.

And yet know-one I’ve talked to seem to know of it.

It’s not right. The film is brilliant. Thomas Jane is superb in it and Pauline Porizkova is now my current ‘ideal’ woman… after seeing Thursday again.