Have often do you watch a t.v. show, only to find yourself disappointed by the last episode. It’s happened countless times for me, ‘Blakes 7’, ‘Farscape’, and others.
But, last night’s ‘Heroes’, the end of series 1, episode 23 that I watched with John was everything I’d waited for.. after his recording didn’t work; and as it transpired, I had a copy of it off Karl, so my wait of weeks, was worth it.
All in all, after the film, the evening was the perfect way to end the day.
Someone is reputed to have said that a wise man will admit to knowing nothing.
Well, I make no pretensions about being wise, but I have come to realise over the years that the best way for me to see myself truly, is through the eyes of another.
So, over the years I have sought to find self-awareness through the reflections others words provide me.
Of late, several intense conversations have proved most fruitful: and what I’ve learnt has opened my eyes and lifted my heart.
I was brought up around antiques.My Father, a model-maker, restored antiques for his friends, in return for bits and piece, like a flintlock pistol, or a halbert, for the wall.
He taught me to fence before I was twelve and at sixteen I could shoot a flame of a candle at twnty-five years with an air-rifle.
Working class and proud of it, I still look back with joy, at the memories my parents have left me with: like castles and old halls and coastal walks.
When my Gran died, I got into volunatry work with social services, doing with the local directo what they wouldn't do.
I became a care assistant.. and loved it.
though the stress of the job nearly killed me: it made me feel valued. Then, after the trial of the ex, eleven years ago, I began work with the soup kitchen.. and those poor benighted sods have been putting up with me all that time.
As it is.. I feel valued: which is something that so few people can say they'll ever experience!!
I'm doing this before getting washed; and going out to see the new ‘Pirates’ film with Karl. And wasn’t that episode of Doctor Who, ‘Human Nature’ the first of a two-parter with him a human, the very best story so far!?!
I’d thought so!!
I had a brief moment of emotional turbulance recently, thank to a couple of comments made I'd responded to.
I'm fine now.
In fact, what they'd said had been useful, in hindsight. It rather put a few things in perspective.
So, it's all good.
..try and get to see the BBC version of the story, with David Tennant in.
I mean, years ago Frank Finley was good.
But, Tenant is brilliant in the role.
, I passed a young bunny in the grass on the roadside verge.
that was a moment to relish.
I've been after this film for ages, an my friend brings it round with him, just before the Liverpool v. Milan match and it would play on the pc.. an AVI and it would.. and it has Eileen Daly in it: from azor Blade Smile'.. and Liverpool lost.
And the disc wouldn't play.. except, in the DVD recorder that doesn't play originals.. and can't record properly.. and now, I have a copy of~
'All about Annie' to watch.
I was just called a 'walking contradiction' and a 'smart arse.' (ex policeman and nine moths time for selling weed!) Luvvit.
I am in a state if anguish.
too much to think of ~
~ I want my mask back!
I felt safer..
I wear a mask and have done so for years. Love is a figgin pain the the ass and I'd rather be shafted than be in Love again, which means that I hate.. but why?
Is that what you wanted to know?
If you look in my journal you'll see that this has burnt me out and frazzled my synapse.
my armour is threatened, my sheilds weakened.
going offline soon.
too much to think about and I need fresh air..
Discussing the merits of Love/Hate, I find my perceptions stretched and my opinions questioned, I feel 'stimulated!'
it's not a single event.
It's a year long event, with many things going on through the year.
But, while it's due in 08, there's changes happening to the city, now.
And.. I'm not good with too much change!!
I hope to be in another film, shot by Fiona Mahr
a friend of hers is the widow of the manager of prodigy.
I broke the dalek in the bathroom, when we were filming 30 seconds of film for Expirydate.
info can be found on Expirydate.co.uk, for that one.
I am who I am, with lack of teeth, bad back and going bald.
I can still get my legs round my neck.. and fuck like a rabbit for hours on end.. with as much foreplay as my partner needs.
just lost two thirds of my favourite tooth.
my last chewing tooth at the back, between two gold caps..
and my Father of eighty has all of his..
stuffy sod!!
Our MP's voted today to keep themselves out of out freedom of information act!
~ it says a lot about democracy, doesn’t it?
Having read the comic that the new film is loosely based on.. I have to say, it is as faithful as a film can be.. to another media, whilst still being a damn good rollercoaster of a movie.
I head someone say it'sa chick-flick.
Well, maybe.. for all of ten minutes of it's 139 minutes running time.. the rest is plain adrenalin rush. In fact, I think it's better than no.2
my Father had been a model maker.
when I was four or five, I had a full-size Dalek hebuilt for me.
although we're not rich, at all, hows that for spoilt!?!
It's sunny as I sit here, after a real heavy nights rain.. I'm very dozy from painkillers in regard of the pain in my wrist and I went to the doctor this morning.
An injection was suggested.
Little Mother is watching Victor Mature in 'The Big Circus' and Dad's just come in from massacring the lawn, yet again!! Damn chafer grubs!!
yesterday.. went travelling to King St:
no Simon.. I'd had money on me.. and no weed: which has been the case for a couple of weeks now, except for the little I shared with Peter and saved for the the day in Liverpool with him at The Cavern.
anyway, it started getting showery...
so I decided to get the bus home..
which is where I met Elaine, the short brunette with stacks on
thankfully it was the 402 to Chester...
which at least gave me a chance to start travelling home before 4:00 and the travel pass running out.
we'd chatted about poetry on the journey to Birkenhead.
As it was, I'd got to Birkenhead Central before four and was able to get the train, which is where I enountered Jason and his daughter, who I'vemet before and seemed to recall me well: and it was he who rooted in his wallet, as the doors were opening at Bebington and had pressed a small bit of green into my hand.
and I got home to find a letter from the magistrate laypersons panel, in regard of my interview with them..
tyhen, this morning, as my parents were 'discussing' how best to get to a particular part of Fazakerley Hospital, I showed them how useful the net can be, (although expensive) by producing a simpler map to understand than the one that had been sent to my Mum!
a nark has two meaning.
angry person.
a grass, or squealer.
and in common parlance, someone may say, "you're a little narky."
It’s the end of the day, as I begin this. Well, as far as I’m concerned. It’s now Friday, but it’d been Thursday, which had prompted my deliberations.
There’s work being done on the Liverpool loop-line and I had to get a bus from James Street Station to Limes Street. Fair enough. No hassle.
But, in the lift I overheard two black young ladies talking, as you do.
One had been talking of a contract the other should sign, which would bring in £500 pound an hour, for D.J. ‘work.’
Now I’d been on the way to help out on a soup-kitchen, which I’ve worked on now for over ten years and I see more people needing us, not less.
But, that isn’t what gets me.
What gets me is that we don’t make anything in Britain anymore: and everyone below the age of twenty-five seems to think they can be a pop-star, or successful footballer: all without effort, or any real training. I’m referring of course to the age of the quick buck, where everyone can be an instant success, or so Pop Idol would have us believe; either that, or overnight, you will be a millionaire, without any effort, of course, thanks to the lottery. What happened to our society?
Why is it we seem to venerate D.J.’s; popstars and footballers, rather than nurses and shipbuilders and doctors and bricklayers?
Does money, the almighty buck, mean that a popstar has more worth in our society than someone who makes the homes we live in? Or, is a D.J. of more worth in our society, than a nurse, who cares for you and your elderly parents?
I mean, just how on earth does that make sense?
"if and when someone can pidgeon hole me, it'd better be a strange shaped hole, or I will not fit it." I'd said..
"But you do fit in.. In a strange sort of way....I love your writings... your personality, dark, mysterious, yet gentle and genuine..... "
She said in answer.
It's quite late and I've been at a Doctor Who Convention at The Cavern, Liverpool.
I've a very little bit to smoke and drink and seen idols from my boyhood and sought guidance from a reputed author, Terrence Dicks.
I even got to have my photo taken with my favourite assistant to the Doctor, Sophie Aldred, who played Ace.
And when my left hand effed up on me and I had helped it up toward my shouldr, to relieve it, the fellow on stage thought I had a question for the sixth Doctor.
I'd said I wish I could see me as you do.
the nice Lady replied..
'I see you as a man, that has a kind heart, one that feels grateful for a smile, you are grateful for the little things life offer. You see the small beauty in life, that people fail to see. To feed the hungry and to see what many would not understand or even try to comprehend. Takes a person with a kind spirit.'
ah wow.
On the 26th November 2007, the most complex scientific instrument ever built will be used in an extraordinarily ambitious experiment. Located within a labyrinth of tunnels beneath the French/Swiss border; the $6 billion (approximately £3 billion) Large Hadron Collidor will be used to recreate the Big Bang. If successful, it is said the experiment could open the door to a complete understanding of the universes deepest secrets and even yield the ultimate goal of physics – a theory of everything. But if the worst happens, the collider could create a black hole powerful enough to devour the entire planet.
Is man so eager to become God that he is so willing to take this chance?
How arrogant are we?
I've only recently I learnt that some bright spark in a laboratory, as part of a scientific project, is going to try and make a black hole, by firing at protons and.. what!
make a fucking black hole, on the planet I live on.
that's not right! A googling I will go!!
effin hate the left.
I'm going to take it to watch 'Saw'
20 years ago I was diagnosed as bi-polar manic depressive.
my mate has learnt he is and keeps telling me I don't understand.
I think it's hilarious when he does that.
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