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Angelus's Journal


Angelus's Journal

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69 entries this month
 

Blades End.

23:37 Mar 31 2008
Times Read: 1,045


I just awake and I need sleep. I am not good at runaround, when others are ill and I feel rotten still. It's the faceache that gets me:that and the exhaustion.

But, I did get to see the last episode of ‘Blade’ with a smoke.

And boy, was it worth it! **Grins**

That show has been far better than ‘the critics’ said and I’ll miss it.


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..boy, do the taps gleam.

14:04 Mar 31 2008
Times Read: 1,023


Till just now, I’ve been wandering round an empty house. Dad’s taken Mum to the hospital for an X-Ray, after an emergency appointment at the doctor’s.

She’s been having real bad backache, (as well as the chest-cold), so after he’d done the housework, the appointment was organised. Now I’ve been wandering around, waiting, cleaning taps, emptying bins.. and boy, do the taps gleam.


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Joli
Joli
19:15 Mar 31 2008

I just did a huge refrigerator cleaning. There were a few scary moments and health concerns, but now, every shelf gleams and Gordon Ramsey, himself, would be welcomed to open it and help himself to a glass of juice. I feel incredibly satisfied by a job well done.





 

'frustrated, but optimistic'?

22:50 Mar 30 2008
Times Read: 1,031


I try to remain optimistic. But, it’s difficult right now, as my little Mother sounds like I did last week: and she's a Bronchitic. I don't know what to say, or do, except what she asks for: and fuss over her. It’s so frustrating to know that’s all I can do for her when she’s like that. Meanwhile dad left two thirds of a good red wine for me to finish and I just woke up, after my roast dinner.


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"Was it worth it?"

14:05 Mar 29 2008
Times Read: 1,040


Standing at the busstop, with frozen hands in the dark and cold, I had to ask, “Was it worth it?” I’d had to travel. I’d had to sign on. I’d not had fun at the dole either, as I’d had the need to talk about jobsearch and how it wasn’t going as well as I’d like: and, an agency hadn’t phoned who said they would. And, then I’d gone travelling, instead of going home, drinking hot coffee and dunking rich tea biscuits. But instead I was there at the busstop and the one I’d needed had gone, as the bus that came along was the very next one. That meant I had to wait I had in the cold and dark for the last bus, instead of talking to my Internet Ladyfriend. Thankfully, it wasn’t raining. And, my friend hadn’t been a happy chappy when I’d called earlier, as that past week, many had asked him to acquire for them, including his sister and the fellow who used to acquire for him. Then feeling a tad guilty, I’d asked the same question they had.

“Yeah, I’ll go,” your friend had said, “but only ‘coz it’s you…” So a game had been played, as a smoke had been laid; and then he’d been ready to go out for you.

He had gone out to the phone-box, as I’d waited in the warmth, watching football being played by someone you hardly knew, whilst sitting on a bookshelf was mirror with temptation in white upon it, played with while I waited, just a tad frustrated. Yet, you’d finished what I’d built earlier, with the game player. Even so, it was hardly any form of compensation, for a long, cold wet and irksome journey. And then, there’d been the matter of what I’d gone there to ask about. That’d been the topper to end all, as “nothing will be available till the following morning.” So, I left the coin and made a booking “as you should have” and have to return, yet again.

Now having completed your journey’s I am sitting on the train and write yet again, “Was it worth it?”

..

Then when I’d got in, I’d looked at The Radio Times. I’d missed the penultimate episode of ‘Torchwood’: and I asked again, “Was it worth it?”





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'click'

10:46 Mar 28 2008
Times Read: 1,052


Neil Kendrick: hate the hand

Neil Kendrick: click

Neil Kendrick: click

Neil Kendrick: friggin click

Neil Kendrick: bugger

***** ******: I sorry

Neil Kendrick: nah..

Neil Kendrick: don't be

Neil Kendrick: 49

Neil Kendrick: going bald

Neil Kendrick: with a left wrist that clicks

Neil Kendrick: and I like Spinach


COMMENTS

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Remedy
Remedy
10:59 Mar 28 2008

Mmm.

Spinach.





Drakontion
Drakontion
21:25 Mar 28 2008

ok so the spinach is right out there :P





sPerAnZa
sPerAnZa
02:04 Mar 29 2008

Now I have this urge for Poppye





Angelus
Angelus
14:32 Mar 30 2008

"I yam wat I yam.." PooP, PooP!





 

The Unit

10:39 Mar 28 2008
Times Read: 1,053


I have now watched a large portion of two episodes of ‘The Unit’ and have come to the conclusion that it’s one of the worst things ever to be made. From it’s opening credits and the drawling monologue, to the jingoistic, pro-western stance the series takes, one would imagine that everything ‘WE’ do is okay and everything that ‘THEY’ do is counter out values and there to be ‘taken out’.

It’s naught but, pro-western propaganda.

..

Needles to say, it has stars people know and identify with and looks great: Personally, I would have expected a show like that to be made during the height if the Cold War.

..

Or, are we in the midst of another Cold War and I haven’t yet noticed?


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says about onesself.

19:41 Mar 25 2008
Times Read: 1,073


Angelus: ex policeman, ex pot-dealer, done 18 moon.. two ex-fiancee's? It wasn't how I talk that made me strong. Y'know??



Angelus: I like the next day.. whenever it is. And I was classed as manic depressive... past tense.. weird.. how did I get 'cured'??


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Sinora
Sinora
19:43 Mar 25 2008

Is there an echo in here ?...I aint talkin marg either lol





 

‘Zeitgeist , The Movie’

16:51 Mar 25 2008
Times Read: 1,077


Having watched ‘Zeitgeist , The Movie’ I sat back, incredulous that the film had been made. It’s the ultimate conspiracy movie ~ telling truth’s that the majority don’t want to know, or just plain ignore. It’s surprised that it got made; it’s out there; and that it’s makers haven’t been assassinated.



Take for example the story of Louis Mc Fadden, talking of the crash of 1907, “It was a carefully contrived occurrence. International bankers sought to bring about a condition of despair, so that they might emerge the rulers of us all.”



After two attempts on his life, the third was successful, when he was shot.



As I say, I am very surprised that this film is ‘out there’ and fervently hope everyone gets the chance to see it.



It’s a pity it’s being streamed, as it keeps pausing.. but stick with, the film is both informative.. and scary.



http://zeitgeistmovie.com/main.htm


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CelestiaNocturne
CelestiaNocturne
23:28 Mar 25 2008

Neil I watched that movie as well, and it really made me think. So glad you watched it and think the same as me!





 

'onlie-ones.'

00:54 Mar 25 2008
Times Read: 1,085


..in comic-class, the first thing teacher showed us, was that all of us, who sat and created in the early hours, thought were were the only one's.

..and there we all were, a whole class of 'onlie-ones.'


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oh-my

16:12 Mar 24 2008
Times Read: 1,105


Well, would you believe it? I’m sitting here in the backroom as I begin this and the sun is out once more and so strong I’ve had to close the curtains, because of the glare on the monitor and I just brought the washing in prior to it sleeting down, a short while ago. Although, I had managed to edge the lawns, hoe the borders and tidy up before it had started. Then when the light returned, oh-my, the yellow of the daffodils looked good.


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priscillak
priscillak
00:17 Mar 25 2008

beautiful





 

"Oh, give me strength!"

23:06 Mar 23 2008
Times Read: 1,125


Just checked out a goon, name of natas696

there's another one sounds like him..

I assume it's the previous username, he forgot.

..

the fellow and his other profile natas7399 belong somewhere, but here isn't it.


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There's a script?

16:11 Mar 23 2008
Times Read: 1,134


On 19:28:21 Mar 19 2008 (-6 GMT) Angelus wrote:



ello Splodge.



On 19:32:18 Mar 19 2008 (-6 GMT) ****** wrote:



Heya Sprite.

What's happening



On 19:36:34 Mar 19 2008 (-6 GMT) Angelus wrote:



being playful, gelfling.



On 01:09:07 Mar 20 2008 (-6 GMT) ****** wrote:



What does that consist of, Heartlet?



On 19:39:45 Mar 20 2008 (-6 GMT) Angelus wrote:



beining anything that isn't what's on the script.



On 01:40:24 Mar 20 2008 (-6 GMT) ****** wrote:



There's a script? I want one!


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.. so what?

15:11 Mar 23 2008
Times Read: 1,135


I guess I annoy more than I talk to .. so what?

my heart in the right place and I only try to help and see the best in the people I acquaint myself with ..


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Ain't that cool ...

14:52 Mar 23 2008
Times Read: 1,140


A Sunday, VR is quiet and I've been checking out stuff and doing things for people, as you do.

And I checked out my 'Last 10'.. and, ain't it weird the people who check you out,when you're as open as an open book?

I saw traces and footprints not usually left, by those who I realise visit, but lurk.

And it was a pleasure to see they recall me, II hope they do so well.

Yet, as to some other, well: all I can figure, is that it's a reall honour for someon to want to oay so mych attention, to the words of someone who likes to speak his mind. Ain't that cool ...


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mysticwinds
mysticwinds
18:38 Mar 24 2008

Your words are cool and many can relate to your words.





 

it's nice to have friends

13:53 Mar 22 2008
Times Read: 1,173


a friend told me of DE's comment left on the previous entry: so I deleted it.

for some reason the racist doesn't like me??



**raises eybrow**


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CryingMist
CryingMist
14:59 Mar 23 2008

racist should be shot on sight





mysticwinds
mysticwinds
01:52 Mar 24 2008

You racist...Rubbish



You are always a gentleman.





Angelus
Angelus
19:06 Mar 24 2008

my remarks about 'the racist' were about DeathsEmbrace.. the fellow who disses Mexicans in the Vampbox, then leaves nasty messages in my comments box.





 

That explains everything.

13:48 Mar 22 2008
Times Read: 1,176


On 08:14:48 Mar 22 2008 (-6 GMT) ****** wrote:



Ooooh. Neil, I'd watch it if I were you. You got DeathsEmbrace headed after you to "piss in your cereal."

*dies laughing*



On 08:21:42 Mar 22 2008 (-6 GMT) Angelus wrote:



I've had five attempts on my life.. do you seriously imagine a no-mark bigot bothers me?

..

course you don't!



On 08:27:20 Mar 22 2008 (-6 GMT) ****** wrote:



*gigglefit*

People like that are so good for entertainment.

Five attempts? What kind of people have you been pissing off, honey?



On 08:29:01 Mar 22 2008 (-6 GMT) Angelus wrote:



I'm an ex policeman of eleven days, who is white and considered middle-class, who sold wee & got beaten up and arrested by the police. I served time.





On 14:30:43 Mar 22 2008 (-6 GMT) ****** wrote:





That explains everything.

Eep.

*clings*







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..deaths embrace

12:56 Mar 22 2008
Times Read: 1,191


..gawd, I so dislike bigots.. won't see me in the Vampbox while he is there. ratty me, in seconds. (I like several Mexicans.)


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three formats

12:32 Mar 22 2008
Times Read: 1,192


It’s sunny and fluffy outside: I’ve just kept a promise..

So I'm happy.

This ones taken years to fulfil. .. three formats.

So, all the better, to have it done.


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'pisser'..

01:04 Mar 22 2008
Times Read: 1,198


'pisser'.. very English.

one of mine.. 'narky'.. got picked up on here, as snarky.. similar meaning.

here, a wacker is a scouser.. turns out a chicago postal supervisour knew it and thought it was American.


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‘Black Sheep’

00:29 Mar 22 2008
Times Read: 1,201


Outside the wind is building up. I hadn’t minded, thanks to Karl, I had ‘Black Sheep’ and ‘Alien Agent’ to watch. I got through ‘Black Sheep’, a New Zealand horror, in a similar vein to ‘Braindead.’ O-boy, do I recommend it, for “adequate distraction.”

I’ve needed it. I’ve been coughing: otherwise fine. But, the damn things lingering like an unwanted ex. Just, too much coughing right now. I sound like a smoker, which I maybe. But, I don't normally sound like one.


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a proper full moon

13:52 Mar 21 2008
Times Read: 1,210


Well one can tell there’s a proper full moon around. Early in the morning it had got really stormy, yet as I write it’s light and blue and fluffy outside, with a bright sun. You’d hardly imagine there’d been the deluge there was just less than half an hour ago. And after I’d wiped the windowsills down, after helping the folks with the weekly shopping I’d just stood on the back lawn: everything looked so fresh and new. I had just turned round and smiled.


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ladylilac
ladylilac
22:13 Jan 07 2011

this was the first journal entry on my birthday :D





 

2 donuts in a hotdog van.

00:39 Mar 20 2008
Times Read: 1,226


Outside it is raining. Just started. I’ve eaten a little too much and I’m warm.

Just got back and have eaten: and while I was outside, watched one of those uber-violent X-Box games. The fellow playing had pulled 2 donuts in hotdog van.

..

Gawd, did I find that funny.


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..exercise??

00:24 Mar 20 2008
Times Read: 1,230




Neil Kendrick: and it seems I have exercise booked before voluntary work tomorrow,

**** ******: exercise?

Neil Kendrick: to acquire what I bought.

**** ******: Your confusing me

**** ******: lol

Neil Kendrick: you're confused?

Neil Kendrick: try being me.

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"You ready for your close-up Mr De Mille?"

23:19 Mar 18 2008
Times Read: 1,253


Well, I went to hospital. The MRI showed damage & I’m going to have an arthroscopy. In an arthroscopic examination, an orthopaedic surgeon makes a small incision in the patient's skin and then inserts pencil-sized instruments that contain a camera.

It is a surgical procedure used to inspect and treat problems inside a joint.

Doctors use arthroscopy to remove loose bone and cartilage and repair damaged tendons and ligaments.

And, that’s what I’m going to have done.

..

That said, the walk home was good.

..

I then went to my doctor’s, at short notice, about my chest & got some amoxicillin, for my chest.


COMMENTS

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LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
03:19 Mar 19 2008

Well at least you know now hon and I hope you are feeling better soon.



Drakontion
Drakontion
09:02 Mar 19 2008

*nods* and they get good results from those too. the bonus being it's way less intrusive and damaging, so recovery time is quicker and less painful.

*hugs*





Sinora
Sinora
14:27 Mar 19 2008

*leaves a hug*





RedQueen
RedQueen
20:55 Mar 19 2008

EEEEEUUUUUWWWWWW!!!!!!



blood and stuff



*faints dead away...*





 

..mri results

13:46 Mar 18 2008
Times Read: 1,264


It's sunny & I’m off to hospital soon.. gonna find out about the mri results.

It's down to an old injury. I'm just pleased that something is being done about it, though I'm apprehensive about the prospect of having a camera in my wrist: which is a prospect.


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Sinora
Sinora
14:34 Mar 18 2008

Good luck





CelestiaNocturne
CelestiaNocturne
19:03 Mar 18 2008

Hope all is well :)





Drakontion
Drakontion
20:32 Mar 18 2008

Good luck! Hope your results are good =)





 

bored?

00:05 Mar 18 2008
Times Read: 1,273


Neil Kendrick: how anyone can be bored.

******** ******: lol

******** ******: maybe its cause no offense your older?

Neil Kendrick: no offense taken..

Neil Kendrick: but there's more there for younger peop-le than grups.

******** ******: true if you live were you can have fun

Neil Kendrick: anywhere.

Neil Kendrick: you live you breathe

Neil Kendrick: you have the internet.

Neil Kendrick: there is no limit

Neil Kendrick: except your imagination

******** ******: yeah


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Drakontion
Drakontion
10:34 Mar 18 2008

OMG that is so true. And something so many people ignore or forget about. Something that makes me feel like shaking them and telling them "in my day..!" lol...





 

..a long road, on a sunny day

23:21 Mar 17 2008
Times Read: 1,278


So besides the stuffed head and aching sinus, I feel good. That said, concentration wasn’t fun at the weekend as I was filling out an application form. I could it done though of course, with the understanding that come Monday, St: Patrick’s Day I’d hand delivered it. Well, the weather was absolutely beautiful, as my Father drove my Mother to the surgery and the application form got delivered, as I’d intended. So, at least from my point of view, she knows I’m articulate and presentable: and, ‘she’ had said she would welcome me doing so. That done, I wandered slowly home, from Eastham, back to the Brookhurst in Brombrough down Plymyard Avenue, a long road, on a sunny day, with a blue sky overhead and blossom on the trees. By the time I got home, my parents were already back home and my Father was ready to start the housework. When my Mother asked me to get the maidens from beneath the bed for her, I’d thought I was witty saying, “Okay, I’ll get the virgins out.” Uh huh.

And as I plodded through to my room I’d looked out the windows, saying to my Dad, “I’ve got windows to do.” Well, with the weather being as it’s been of late, with the storms we’ve had, they do need doing, so a change of clothes is required I guess, then I’ll be getting them done.

It’ll be sheer pleasures to get some physical work done on a pleasant day, in effect, damn good therapy for my shoulders. Hence looking forward to it.

Whilst fitting into my parent’s routine isn’t always easy, but it is possible. And whereas it does seem that their tolerance is stretched at times with having me around, they get as much assistance as they need. Well, as much as I think they need, like dusting where my Mum can’t reach. Things like that.

As I’ve been typing away, I have been listening to our local radio station and learnt that the motorbike Steve McQueen rode in ‘The Great Escape’ was also ridden by Arthur Fonzerelli, in ‘Happy Days.’

Furthermore, as I’ve just learnt, the rubberband was invented, for parcels etc in 1845 on this day, in England, by Mr. Perry, from a firm with his name in it…

Then just a short while ago, I went up the road, for stamps and airmail stamps and a Robin shot across my path, to sat on the wall, just to my right… Yep, all-in-all, it’s been a pretty good day!









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NZ MATUA Valley

19:04 Mar 16 2008
Times Read: 1,299


..no matter how many times I sit down to eat a chicken roast with the trimmings, with my folks, it always tastes different. could be the spuds.. the Azda pre-cooked chicken.. the fine red wine.. in this case a NZ MATU Valley.. or the fact that I can still sit down and eat this meal with parents I Love.


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sometimes I feel..

14:16 Mar 16 2008
Times Read: 1,305


Karl phoned, 'I won't be in till late.'

thing is, he's young and has a ladyfriend.

I understand. Of course I do.

But understanding doesn't alway's help: sometimes I feel that all I know and like is changing and moving away from me.

..

I just miss me mate.. but he's discovered a ladyfriend.. and he's young and I understand.. I'm just a little a a loss today.. I'll adapt.. I always do.


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old enough

00:08 Mar 16 2008
Times Read: 1,316


As I ate my split pea burgers, with melted cheese on top, served with Chilli Baked Beans, I listened to the local news and the latest street horrors. And, I thought to myself, after reading of three instances in The Metro last week,

‘if someone is old enough to commit such extreme acts of violence against a fellow human being, they are old enough to have their names printed in the press.’


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RedQueen
RedQueen
19:10 Mar 16 2008

not to mention the fact that they are old enough to be tried and convicted as an adult...





Joli
Joli
02:35 Mar 17 2008

Not to overlook the main, but "split pea burgers?"





 

Okay, I won’t..

13:57 Mar 13 2008
Times Read: 1,337


I'm out of bed, as you'll notice. I have to be.

I have voluntary work today..

..

I’m seriously thinking of getting my little Mother to write a letter for Roger, the projects team-leader, saying something like, “My son got out of his sick bed and wrapped up well, to open up the church, so you could have your day off.”

..

Okay, I won’t.. but gawd, my sinus ache, so much!


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Sinora
Sinora
19:59 Mar 13 2008

You should have stayed in bed.





ladygoddessaries
ladygoddessaries
20:30 Mar 13 2008

Believe me I know how you feel.. *cough, cough* arg.





 

Overt prejudice and the Vampbox

17:33 Mar 12 2008
Times Read: 1,351


I openly acknowledge I can be a belligerent so-and-so at times. Yet, that said, it’s always for a reason.



Gothic Angel said in the Vampbox her computer was “acting jewish” .. (‘no offence,’ she added.)



Leviathandelioncourte gave ‘the finger’ to them. Now I’m not jewish, but I regarded the comments like I regard the comment, “its gay.”

Annoying.



I would have expected better from Goth Angel, who speaks well on her profile of her academic achievements.



So I asked what she’d meant, then saw ‘the finger’ ~ so said in turn, “sad f*cks.”



Thankfully, before I could get wound up further, CountessMoon cleared the Vampbox. I just have to wonder, where did these ‘kids’ gets their thoughts from?


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..following the news.

17:30 Mar 12 2008
Times Read: 1,353


Through the news I've been following US politics avidly right now.

Here's a thought ~ Bush has about 6 months left - ish. What do you want to best, there's a 'terrorist' attack within that time, providing due cause for an invasion of Iran.


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Acquisition ..a rambling

16:46 Mar 12 2008
Times Read: 1,354


I’ve been thinking.

Been thinking.

Everything can have… no, whoa… try again.

As I understand it ~ everything that is, can have a series of Now’s.

That is to say: the acquisition of an article and the series of actions leading to its eventual acquisition can be a Now ~ and the present is its acquisition.

But, that was only an example ~ a meandered musing.

Perhaps the search for the article was in vain. What then?

How could that itself have a causal effect? Perhaps, in truth, the answer is naught.

For all our conceived perceptions are quite illusory, when faced with the practical realities of modern day life. That is a Now.

And, I had been musing on dear old Maslow.

Some people, albeit not that many, never get past that initial first couple of levels.

For instance, they might have a roof over their head, yet they never get past that need for acquisition.

I’m quite sure many could recognize that scenario.

Yet, it does illustrate a point, I suppose. Acquisition is.

And, what we know and who we know can be tools in a fashion, to acquire and satiate our need: and the Now.

I mean, there are those who can help us acquire what we want, or in the case of some individuals, need; and, there are also others whose very presence seems to assist in the act of acquisition.

Did that make sense?

There are those people there to help you acquire it; whilst it can be obtained with the assistance of others. But, there are pitfalls that can ensue from this, which multiply exponentially with Need.

There are those who can help us to acquire and there are those who can acquire for us.

Two way’s of leading to its possession.

There are those people there to help one acquire, whilst it can be obtained, with the assistance of others; but this route can be fraught with pitfalls. For instance issues of trust can be brought forth, or one can fall foul of the barriers toward one’s acquisition, of which there are many, like lack of funds, lack of transport; and, the law.

But, then there are those individual whose company allows you the contacts to the people you need to know, to acquire. And, to acquire for oneself, with no third party issues can be the safer option, as previously suggested.

Dear old Maslow talked of his ‘Hierarchy of Need.’ But, when expectation is being continually being driven upward for many, in every that we see and experience: just how are man’s expectations to be met?

But, what’s the point in writing something down as I have?

Simply to understand: for with understanding true perception can follow.

Life seems to be about perceived understanding.

Everything can have meaning: every action, or non-action can have meaning.

But, the nature of truth is very personal. One sees a headline. It is in black and white, so it must be true.

Until the majority of us stop and think about it, that is how we think and understand.

Everything has meaning: and, relevance to an individual.

Yet that relevance is based on a persons own personal belief systems and all that has gone into its creation.

Every perception is based on one’s understanding. That in itself must be reasoned understanding, otherwise a decision that is made will be based on a false perception.

Therefore it can be reasoned that a false perception can lead to one making a bad decision.

In essence, once acquisition has been made that is all… for the Now of one’s Need has ended, for now.

Yet there are those whose lives are caught in a revolving door, repeating events they have lived through, within a system that seems designed to perpetuate itself.

And consider this, if you will?

Have you ever noticed that when you complete a list of synonyms for a word or phrase, it is easier to list the negatives, rather than the positive?

I wonder if his might suggest that we have a natural predisposition to do so, hence the results produced?

It could also suggest an innate desire to deny our word-power, as ‘dumbing down’ becomes more fashionable.

Could it be that we ourselves in a similar manner, considering our lower values to be of more worth than our higher?

After all, as a species, man is a selfish animal and most acquisition is of a very personal nature; some might say selfish.

Therefore it could be suggested that acquisition ascribes to a facet of man’s addictive nature. It is this that makes the action of acquisition so intense.

It is one man, or woman’s journey personal Need. And, although that path can be injurious to oneself, it has to be followed.

Indeed, that path can be full of those negative values, so producing a poor lifestyle, in comparison with their peers, when the Need to acquire exclusivity of all else is where addiction is the sole focus of an individual’s experience.

And, is any obsession good for the individual, when it acts to limit ones experience?

Why is it that there are those, who seem to spend their lives spent, caught within a revolving door: repeating things that they’ve done before?

These individuals are caught within a system that seems to perpetuate itself, with their aid, or without it.

There are patterns within the lives that we lead, that we can see if we but stop to look for them: cycles that can be changed, with thought and action.

But, that entails making a decision.

Just think of how often we say to ourselves, “I’m not going to do that again.”

And, then we do ~ whilst after almost every national disaster the findings of the ensuing public enquiry of the government of the day is the same, ‘We must ensure that this sort of thing never happens again.’

And, it always does, happen again…

Very few people like making decisions. After all, to make one means making a choice. To make a choice we take a risk.

And very few people like taking on too great a risk: especially when they could be wrong. Yet, I digress… don’t I?

Nothing is new. For example: the purchase of a small black book A5 with feint lines, in which to write original thoughts has been done before.











COMMENTS

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LAZARUSAD
LAZARUSAD
18:17 Mar 12 2008

Another deep and well defined journal entry, only to be found here at VR. Kudos. This one is a 10 (as are many of your works)

Now if there is just enough non egocentric and un narcissistic brainpower around here to appreciate the gravity of these writings.

The dumbing down has certainly been going on for at least the last generation or two... But I still have hopes we can rise out of it...





 

Cancer, "thank you."

14:21 Mar 11 2008
Times Read: 1,367


I so appreciate the comments section, to me it's ever useful. When I write my little stories, like many creatives, I thrive on feedback.

To get it, means oh-so much.

..

So Cancer, "thank you."


COMMENTS

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what does narky mean?

00:13 Mar 11 2008
Times Read: 1,378


***** ******: what does narky mean?

Neil Kendrick: opstreporous

Neil Kendrick: awkward

Neil Kendrick: belligerent

Neil Kendrick: a pain in the fucking ars

Neil Kendrick: e

***** ******: I personally like it.

Neil Kendrick: **laughter**

Neil Kendrick: a narky Neil.

Neil Kendrick: finding fault in the world.

***** ******: ok

Neil Kendrick: yep

Neil Kendrick: it is.

***** ******: Didn't say it wasn't.

Neil Kendrick: ah

Neil Kendrick: my affirmation of a character trait I like in me.

***** ******: I see


COMMENTS

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CelestiaNocturne
CelestiaNocturne
22:50 Mar 13 2008

'Snarky' one of my favorite words ;)





 

the pop

23:35 Mar 10 2008
Times Read: 1,384


I've been writing all evening. I just logged on.. and all I got on YIM was earache. After all the hassle of the other day.. it's the last thing I need.. the pop, messenger flashes up on the taskbar.. and I answer, so pleased that all is well.


COMMENTS

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...and **** replied

17:33 Mar 10 2008
Times Read: 1,392


On 11:45:10 Mar 10 2008 (-6 GMT) Angelus wrote:



Can you imagine 'them' marketing leperous corn??





and **** replied:



absolutely! How about: Magically delicious Leper Corn, So good your toes will fall off!



COMMENTS

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I thunk so

15:34 Mar 10 2008
Times Read: 1,400


Skies that were blue earlier are turning are turning dark as I write this. Storms are expected and it’s not going to be as pleasant as it was when I went travelling. I had taken a few photo’s downtown, ‘coz I liked the look of the sky and then continued with my journeys. After my head going whirligig the last few days and with money in my pocket the travelling led to a friends, whiskey, etc.. Maybe not what the doctor what have ordered, but certainly what had been needed. Well, I think so.


COMMENTS

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uhuh??

23:50 Mar 09 2008
Times Read: 1,410


well away with the lepra corns, laprecaun.. pixies.



..



uhuh??


COMMENTS

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Joli
Joli
16:39 Mar 10 2008

I hate leperous corn, but that's just me ;)





 

'a truth'

13:27 Mar 09 2008
Times Read: 1,429


I am interested in the truth.. but to a lot... they're concerned with 'a truth', their truth.


COMMENTS

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sahahria
sahahria
14:04 Mar 09 2008

Perceptions, it is the enemy of truth as it creates what someone will consider to be true.





feralmuse
feralmuse
14:49 Mar 09 2008

All truth is a personalized thing. And that is part of what it is... what calls to us as individuals. *smile* But I do love what you wrote, its nice to see people delving into the spiritual aspect. Have a wonderful day ~Muse~





ladygoddessaries
ladygoddessaries
17:58 Mar 09 2008

Am a little confused here.. how can ones own truth not be the real truth?





 

**shakes head**

13:14 Mar 09 2008
Times Read: 1,431


**shakes head**



..taking the truth is one thing.

allowing a truth to overwhelm all other thought to the exclusion of the pleasure of life is plain wrong.


COMMENTS

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just like 'all the others.'

02:27 Mar 09 2008
Times Read: 1,442


I learnt to thrive on conflict.. after an ex. Now.. I avoid such things like the plague. I've had too much of it..

..

I am shattered. emotionally drained.

this is twice she's got me like this Now.





or.. to be pedantic.. some people keep pushing you away.. and then wonde why you have.. in fact, revelling in the fact that thet can now go round saying, "See, I told you he was just like 'all the others.'"


COMMENTS

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..upset.

01:12 Mar 09 2008
Times Read: 1,454


I had expectations. I shouldn't have. But, I didn't wait a week, for that. noway.

I said I didn't want to argue. The rest followed on. And, talking about it doesn't help. I’m just very upset.


COMMENTS

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..f*ckit

00:03 Mar 09 2008
Times Read: 1,463


..and I should stop trying to get close to people.

..sitting here with an overwhelmoing urge to cry.

..

..this bdsm website, so many are on here, has changed the girl I've been talking with.


COMMENTS

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Drakontion
Drakontion
01:30 Mar 09 2008

bdsm has a habit of changing people, for better or for worse. you're not the same again once you've embraced it.

*hugs*





 

Well, I'm going to read them :)

23:51 Mar 08 2008
Times Read: 1,466


On 17:32:08 Mar 08 2008 (-6 GMT) ******** wrote:



Please dear God and Goddess tell me this one isn't true, coz I'll never leave my house again!!! lol. And WHERE are you getting these stories from??



On 17:34:24 Mar 08 2008 (-6 GMT) Angelus wrote:



..my stories.. the early ones..

the ones no-one reads..



On 17:36:30 Mar 08 2008 (-6 GMT) ******** wrote:



Let me tell you, if you put em on here, I would read them in an instant, and so would many more people, I think. They're abseloutely AMAZING. :) You really do have * a way with words* my friend.



On 17:37:50 Mar 08 2008 (-6 GMT) Angelus wrote:



..they are here. no-on reads the stories I've written before this Now.





COMMENTS

-



crowgirl
crowgirl
00:47 Mar 10 2008

Awww shucks! you put lil ol' crow in here? I am so happy, I could dance. And I have no idea why that came out in an american southern accent. 0.o too much Calleigh on CSI, methinks.





 

..and another one bites the dust.

19:30 Mar 08 2008
Times Read: 1,487


..and another one bites the dust.

It seems yet another VR member has left. no names, no pack drill, but she's been here several times, likes a lot of people.. but in her final message, let me know how cheesed off she'd become, 'with a few.'

..

....the more good folks leave, the more VR will become like VF


COMMENTS

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..a thought, or two.

18:51 Mar 08 2008
Times Read: 1,488


Consumerism and the expectation or more has been foisted on us, for a long time. For the individualk to be more than the collective, 'the herd', he/she must act in a way that is better than the whole. Yet, if one stops to analyse ones own actions too much, it is posible to think there is no way out.. hence my agaraphobic friend and others like him, who see what I do ~ yet, maintain that tomorrow can't be something different, than today.

It can be more than it is.. by being; by living; and doing the best that you can. Over analysis though, can provide more questions than answers.


COMMENTS

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the perfect excuse..

14:53 Mar 07 2008
Times Read: 1,498


It's time for a walk. it's pleasant outside and my Mothers hairdresser left her coat here.

..

the perfect excuse, I needed.


COMMENTS

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..corruption

14:09 Mar 07 2008
Times Read: 1,504


..corruption in our society is endemic. but that cannot be a reason for complacency. if someone else does not show responsibility for their action and we feel the need to criticise, it well behooves us to be better than those we criticise.

..if we don't set an example ourselves, let alone 'them', then we're letting ourselves down, I feel.

..I mean, society as a whole may be going to hell in a hang basket.. but thats all the more reason top be more than the whole, aside from the collective.. and better.


COMMENTS

-



 

..the mass, the herd

14:06 Mar 07 2008
Times Read: 1,505


..the solitary 'monkey', man, away from the herd is the one who can attain, as it is he who is not constrained by the opinions of the mass.

..

..the mass, is just that, a collective mentality and cannot be treated the same way at all.


COMMENTS

-



 

Maybe he needs it..

13:57 Mar 07 2008
Times Read: 1,507


..if the Bible is more than a story, it says what happened to the last messiah man had. personally I don't think man wants guidance. Maybe as a species, he needs it.. but ask yourself, woyld 'they' allow themselves to be shown the path to enlightenment Now. It's why I feel only the individual can tread that path.


COMMENTS

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..a liberating experience.

13:45 Mar 07 2008
Times Read: 1,507


I used to be a very closed indiviual.. and, sharing some of my stories has been a liberating experience.

..

hopefully people like them.

..

some seem to.


COMMENTS

-



KamarillaKaine
KamarillaKaine
21:45 Mar 08 2008

and some people..

LOVE them

and you

*hugs*





 

..rating whelps: and bangs head on keyboard.

13:40 Mar 07 2008
Times Read: 1,508


Profile for the whelp ‘icutmyself’

Details, n/a and the quote, 'Quote: i h8 vampires'



Wtf.. why is he here??


COMMENTS

-



Oceane
Oceane
19:37 Mar 08 2008

lol here a pellow lol try not to make a mess





hellseeker
hellseeker
23:57 Mar 17 2008

I rated that person a 1 lol





 

something to look forward to…

12:39 Mar 07 2008
Times Read: 1,511


..woke up, with the sun outside, bright and shiney: and an aching back.

A few stretches and I felt better, much better.

I enjoy doing my voluntary work, but wow, the next morning I pay for it.

Just getting old.. I guess.

Then, awake finally after four coffees and a painkiller or three, it was time to do my job for the day and please my Mum and tune in the stations on the old t.v. in the backroom. But, I couldn’t progress without another coffee, of course. So I plodded through the front room, looking out at the tree on the verge, its blossom now almost all out, a sort of light pink.

Made the coffee and saw to the mail sitting on the mat, a job rejection and a hospital appointment, regarding the results from the MRI on the wrist, I assume.

Ah, something to look forward to… !



COMMENTS

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..the waste-bin concept.

16:24 Mar 06 2008
Times Read: 1,519


..people will pick up the discarded papers, to put in the waste-bin, when they're shown the bin exists; and that it's constructive to do so.


COMMENTS

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..well

16:08 Mar 06 2008
Times Read: 1,522


..you can't pray for a tomorrow you're not prepared to make.


COMMENTS

-



 

..this Now.

16:05 Mar 06 2008
Times Read: 1,523


..you don't want to live through this Now?

..having tried salvia dinoram, I too have thought the same. But we can't afford to live with that thought, as then we wouldn't try to better this Now.


COMMENTS

-



 

..you experience it.

16:04 Mar 06 2008
Times Read: 1,524


..real life is many things, for some it's living in a shop doorway; or killing yourself slowly through alchohol.

..

..the arcane can teach you of much, but not that.

..

..like much else, you experience it.


COMMENTS

-



 

...as you do.

11:43 Mar 06 2008
Times Read: 1,529


..a grey day ouside & I'm sittinh here with the radio on, filling in another application form, pprior to thinking about getting ready for voluntary work. Just plodding on, as you do.


COMMENTS

-



 

..oh dear, my bad.

23:48 Mar 05 2008
Times Read: 1,541


Neil Kendrick: I asumed you had two days left..

Neil Kendrick: cheered..

Neil Kendrick: then read that you've only had it two

Neil Kendrick: so apologised for cheering..

Neil Kendrick: can I breathe out now?


COMMENTS

-



 

..just thinkin.

23:23 Mar 05 2008
Times Read: 1,543


..it's nice, to be nice. don't you think?


COMMENTS

-



 

..good grief.

22:43 Mar 05 2008
Times Read: 1,546


you can talk about sex in the box and girls strip in there but you cant talk about weed? omg


COMMENTS

-



KamarillaKaine
KamarillaKaine
21:48 Mar 08 2008

LOL gotta love that huh??





 

..after an interview

22:40 Mar 05 2008
Times Read: 1,547




..don’t ask me stupid questions. I’ll just get in a foetal position and rock back and forth. it works for me every time...

COMMENTS

-



 

..made my day!

13:30 Mar 03 2008
Times Read: 1,580


I logged on to VR to find this message: “I love reading some of your stories. They're beautifully written. But can I ask something? How did you ever become comfortable and confident enough to write them?”

..

..considering stuff in my past, that's really made my day!


COMMENTS

-



 

.. lets see if the desktop likes me

01:04 Mar 03 2008
Times Read: 1,587


Neil Kendrick: lets see if the desktop likes me

***** ******: Lets see if the laptop likes you

***** ******: lol

Neil Kendrick: I could've rar'd it I guess

Neil Kendrick: oh fuck

Neil Kendrick: deadmeat-time


COMMENTS

-



 

..the day, thus far.

23:20 Mar 02 2008
Times Read: 1,591


I’m well fed and tired (red wine) with the folks and Bloodrayne 2 is quite good.


COMMENTS

-



 

uhuh?

22:16 Mar 01 2008
Times Read: 1,601


Neil Kendrick: the struggle of the tight pockets

***** ******: No, my suspenders were stabbing me

***** ******: lol

Neil Kendrick: and not me?

***** ******: Lol, come on over

Neil Kendrick: mmmm.. it's there now

***** ******: its where?

***** ******: lol

Neil Kendrick: poetry

Neil Kendrick: the poem is in

***** ******: Oh, lol

Neil Kendrick: petry

Neil Kendrick: petri

Neil Kendrick: ..

Neil Kendrick: well

Neil Kendrick: she is a dish..


COMMENTS

-



 

..attacked by a gate.

17:31 Mar 01 2008
Times Read: 1,607


One of my favourite pieces of music ever is playing on the radio, the theme tune from Peter Gunn, by Duane Eddy. I’ve just been out, polo-neck, a short Aaron sweater and my ex-British Rail jacket on: as it’s such a blue sky fluffy day, a heckuvva change from last night. I was out and about, with a social Simon, in ‘that weather.’ Actually wasn’t too bad once you were walking. But, I had an accident with a gate that attacked me before the path leading to a pub, The Saddle in Liscard. Only stopped for a quick whiskey on the walk and got attacked by a gate, fell to the floor and boy-do-I have a bit of a lump on my thigh now. (It might have been the wind that provoked its attack, perhaps.) And Amy Winehouse has really brought big hair in again. On my walk just now I saw two young fashionista’s within five minutes of each other, looking very eighties, with styled big hair ala Ms: Winehouse. I had to get my Solpadol. A morning start without them and a coffee would not be the same and besides, I needed stamps, for more job applications and a birthday card, or three. It seems “everyone” has a birthday this month, including my Dad. That said, with this ‘New Deal’ I’m on with the dole right now has led to one thing to my advantage, a rail-card that gives me half-price rail-fair for three-months. I can see that being useful when I visit Karl, or go do voluntary work.


COMMENTS

-



Nightgame
Nightgame
15:36 Mar 03 2008

It's sidewalks that trip me up :)








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