The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

The Wrong Way, to do it…









Back in 1976,'77 I began a catering course at Carlett Park Technical College a large tower block and campus, set midst woodland in Eastham and, I did alright; not great, but I did alright, getting average marks in all classes and, pretty good grades in afew, meaning those I had interest in.



Now, this was about the same time I started at an evening fencing class at Heswall Boys Club, which overlooked the Dee, as I recall.



The fellow who took the class was also the head of the catering department, as I later found out. This was a man who had seen me lose my rag one evening: and, that evening I’d beaten my tutor, ‘lunge, parry, lunge parry, lunge’. I’d been totally unaware that the safety bobble from the end of the foil had broken off with the tip and, I could’ve done damage. Thankfully, I had not.



As it happens though, this had begun Mister Roughton’s curiosity about my potential.



And, as he was dissatisfied with what he considered poor for me, the fellow had called in some outside assessors, The Chester and Cheshire Remedial Society and, a battery of tests had followed.



Finally I got called to Mister Roughton’s office and, he got called away and, I saw the report about me on his desk, so read upside down of myself, as one would.



It transpires that I had great potential, so they’d written. And much later, I found out what Mister Roughton intended for me, pressure to do well.



Well, the news of extra pressure freaked me and so, I went to the toilet.



There’d been two cubicles in there and, I’d entered the one on the right, away from the door. Then having sat on the toilet I’d unwrapped my roll of knives and taken out the large French knife.



I’d then drawn the blade calmly across my left wrist and, as the blood flowed, I’d fainted.



When I’d finally opened my eyes, I had realized I was alive, so stemmed the bloodflow with a pad of tissue and applied pressure. Finally bandaged, I had returned to class.



Much later, as a care-assistant, I would deal with fluids of many kinds, emanating from many orifices and, I’d dealt with the pressure of each emergency well.

But back then, in ’76 the idea of too much pressure had led to my second breakdown and now I’m thankful that the sight of my own blood that afternoon and, I’d fainted. Even after cutting the wrong way, not right across, as I learnt, many years later, after my third breakdown.



But, that afternoon, I’d left class on a blue-sky sunny day, wondering what the next day might bring, now that I realized I had this marvelous, unrealized potential…



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COMMENTS

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ladyofdragonrose
01:29 Dec 29 2012

your a wonderful person my friend. you've always had great potential in your soul. but its just like the song says. " what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I tried the same thing. but laying there watching my blood flow, i thought you know, im made of stronger stuff than this. so i did the same bandaged myself up and decided right then and there, I refused to give up.



and look where we are today, we are still standing. we both have done well. i am so proud of you.

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AnaliethiaThionoeSangita
07:47 Dec 29 2012

Will you be writing more?

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POST COMMENT

...me Mum used to wake me up, to goto school, then college, with a tray on which was my cereal and coffee [spoilt eh] and, one morning she turned the light on and there I lay, a skeleton's face, and my breathing laboured and heavy.



she dropped the tray... Rice Crispies went everywhere...



[I was seventeen, at the time]

Shade - And The Dark Void





Chapter One



Bringing the screens shutters up, Shade looked at the starless sky before him.



He had seen the console display with disbelief, then doubled the readouts he took on navigation and, he doubted his eyes, at first.



“If there is a Great Maker, he forgot this sector of space,” he mused aloud, idly scratching the left side of his chest.



Shade shaved either side of his moderately hirsute chest, from collar-bone and down and, around each nipple.



And, although Shade liked the feel of the rough leather of the inside of his coat, when his hair grew back it was itchy and irksome.



Running the back of his right hand across a three-day growth he rasped, “I need a shave…” ‘But, I don’t mean my chin,’ he thought.



“Thea!” Shade called, looking back over his right shoulder, into the corridor, to the main cabin. And, at the mention of her name, Thea, his companion of seeming Asian appearance, stirred.



She blinked, once then twice and then opened them fully: “If this isn’t an emergency…” She muttered under her breath.



Thea had been at rest, the nanites that held her in a corporeal form needed to be charged and, she had not had the charge she needed.



A pleasure model, designed for the outer colonies, where mining and miners took precedence over all else, bar economics, pleasure models like her were more adaptable and cheaper than the human alternative and, though there use had led to strikes by the pleasure workers guild, their use had spread throughout known space.



Having struck a deal with Shade, Thea had found a place with the taciturn spacer and, former soldier, then lawman, turned bounty hunter.



She had dressed to reveal, as much of the body that Shade had chosen for her and, very much in part, because she had ascertained that Shade was interested in her; but he had two problems; firstly, he saw her as a pleasure model first and a woman second. Secondly and, more important, he still loved his wife.



Now though there experience on their last port of call had evidenced her maternal ways, in a fashion; there was little Thea could do to make Shade forget his late wife, or the vengeance trail he had ridden for so long. But, she would try.



“What is it Shade?” Thea asked, standing in the entrance to the cabin, her arms raised above her head, fingertips grazing the tip of the circular connection.



Shade turned from the view before him, to that behind him: ‘Thea was dressed to kill,’ he mused, appraising the look his companion had chosen, to lie back in her cabinet to her nanites recharged.



He opened his mouth and, closed it then opened it once more. Finally, he said to her, “Come look at nothing Thea…”



She had chosen to wear some of the fine multi-coloured silks that she had received on the planet where here nanites had created rebirth of a cities population and, in turn a civilization, just one of many gifts she had acquired from a grateful populace. She had wound the fabric round herself, worn short, to expose much of her chest, bust and shapely legs.



And, though she often humoured Shade, this was not one of those times. She scowled.



“You got me from my rest, to see nothing?” She snapped. “Space has a lot of nothing… you know that… so why…?”



Turning back to look out the viewscreen, Shade mused aloud; “It’s not often you get to see nothing. No stars, no planets, no nothing…”



“That’s a double negative…” Thea reminded him, resting her lower left arm on the back of his seat, “you mean, ‘No stars, no planets, no anything…”



“No anything… no anything,” he muttered, as she took the seat to his right.



As her companion had looked into the distance, into the blackness, Thea found her attention drawn to something ahead, something not part of the dark and suddenly she lifted her arm and pointed forward.



“Shade?” She said softly and slowly.



“Uhuh!?!” He murmured absently.



“Shut down the drive, there’s something ahead…” Thea informed Shade.





Chapter Two



Although Thea was already growing weary, having had not had the full charge that was needed, to perform at peak efficiency, she wanted Shade to see what she saw.



But, it was impossible: Thea knew, for he did not have her eyes, eyes that had been built on a planet a universe away from where they were, that had been created on the Mother world Earth, a place that Shade had never known, for he was a Spacer, born off-world. In fact, as he reminded her, his family were some of the earliest colonists, having established a home on Bouelles World.



His hands hovering over the shut-down mechanism, Shade queried, “What is it Thea?” He had learnt to trust her; he had learnt that the first time they’d met, after she’d rectified an error that she had made.



And now, if Thea told him to power down, he would. Though, as he did so, Shade wished that he had the enhanced senses that Thea had: ‘But then I wouldn’t be human would I?” He mused, drawing back on a lever.



Finally the starship was still, in the inky blackness of space and, Shade turned his seat, to look to his Thea, as she too turned her seat, to face him.



“What do you see out there Thea?” He asked, leaning forward, his lower arms resting on his knees.



“I so wish you could see this, as I see and feel it Shade…” Thea told him softly, as she reached out with her hands, which she placed over his, “it is so… so very…”



There were no words. Thea knew that: after all, how could she tell him that in the midst of this endless silent void, there was a spark, within a…?



‘Yes,’ she mused quietly, already feeling very drained, ‘there may be a way.”





Chapter Three



Thea reached up with both hands and grasped the upturned collar of his coat either side and pulled his face towards her. Then she leaned in toward him and let go of the coat, to place her hands either side of his face, fingers spread and, Thea looked into his normally steely-eyes, that now looked at her with intense curiosity.



Thea pressed her lips to his, allowing her mind to open to it’s fullest, knowing that she was already exhausted and, weakened. But, he had to see as she did, he had to.



Thea knew she had telepathic abilities; it was required of the chameleon-like pleasure models, so that they could provide just what their customers truly wanted, from a female companion. Now, she would see how much of that ability could be used.



She stared into his eyes as their lips pressed together and, her hands felt his skin.

‘Feel our connection My Love. See as I see…’ Thea thought, deeply, with passion.



And, the seconds became minutes, as the starship designate WKD965 drifted in space and, the pair continued their communion, each touching the other, in a manner that neither had attempted before.



Finally Thea blinked, allowing Shade to do so, then open his eyes, just as she slumped back into her seat, her complexion wan, breathing shallow, eyes closed.



He sat quickly and reached to touch her face, it was cold, very cold.



“Thea!” He called, panicking and rising from his seat.



“Thea, don’t you go and leave…” he told his quiet companion, as he gathered her in his arms.



He stood and turned away from the viewscreen and, what Thea had wanted him to see, quite unconcerned that out there was a spark, within a gaseous violet nebulous cloud, that knew of their presence.



Shade carried his companion carefully, through the doorway and, into the corridor, where her cabinet stood, very aware of how light she felt in his arms.



Placing her upright, within the contoured bodyform; he then took two paces back and with his arms draped down, Shade covered one hand with the other.



He gazed down at his boot-tips, then opened his heart, as Thea would have wanted.

“She has to live… I’ve lost too much, too many… She must… live…”



Shade was praying, yet knew not what to, or who to. It mattered not.



The embittered former bounty-hunter had opened his heart and, as if his prayer had been answered, he watched his Love’s eyes flicker then open, a little.



“Thea!” He cried, tears of joy rolling down his cheeks: “You’re alive!”



“If I could I’d argue the point,” she muttered softly, “but I’m too tired right now.”



Shade wanted to stroke her face; he wanted to hold his Love in an embrace, but he knew she needed the charge that the cabinet supplied would hold her together and keep her alive. So, he did not stroke her face, as he wanted. Thea needed to rest.





Epilogue:



And, as the starship disappeared, then reappeared many sectors away from where they had been, Shade returned to his seat, to stare out the viewscreen at the starfield ahead.



Shade was stunned.



And, although he was puzzled, Shade sat back in his seat. Thea was alright and suddenly he felt content. He had seen what Thea had wanted him to and, knowing there was something there within the dark, he could accept what had happened, in the moments since then.



He had become aware through communion, aware of that spark that resided in the void and the spark had been aware of him and, the change he had wrought, to make that connection, with Thea.



Shade had found his humanity once again, through worrying about losing Thea and, that miracle had provided Shade with the assistance that the spark, within the dark void could provide…