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‘did I miss anything out?’]
01:19 Apr 30 2014
Times Read: 538

In this time of few manners I still maintain chivalry is not dead. After all, King Arthur and Robin Hood were my heroes; I read the Saint and had My Mum, who taught me well... I know.



Just think of what one can control?

In reality there is but one thing, onesself and one's small world, that which intersects with others on occasion, that can or may have an external influence on our world. it is then that we awareness and acceptance, we can attend to that situation.



But, one’s control is limited, only ever to a point; essentially to oneself and one’s small world. then one must concede to the limits and constraints placed upon you by those same external.

if you don't, your search control will prove fruitless and, you'll feel as though you're in an endless cycle.





I have been more than a little distracted of late; particularly so after the interview that I had at the dole with the compliance officer, when my Dad had joined me.



It seems I could be in trouble ‘coz I have more money in my name than the state allows, when you’re claiming benefit. It is simply because my Father endeavoured to put money aside for his death in my name, more than I'm allowed.



And, as I say the idea of prosecution has me a tad distracted: that and, permanent tired, through standing straight walking with pain in hips and lower back... and, breathing with copd and chest infection, last week.



[I wonder ‘did I miss anything out?’]



‘Take a cold shower,’ an email said, when I said I was tired, ‘yet hyper.’

Well, the last shower I had was in prison - dangerous thing having a shower, you gotta watch out f't shiv's in soap, or rape.

And, Friday, as I awaited a phone-call from the fellow I’d spoken to Karl phoned… I ‘can’t see him, as the kids are down!’

Essentially, I am coping, 'n that is the right word to use.

for ages my doc has known I'm walking a mental tightrope, well...

well, there’s angst in the house; pain in my limbs and threat of prosecution

my mental tightrope is wobbling.

Then Friday afternoon I went to the doctor’s. It had rained heavily; the appointment had been wrong and had been altered. Then later, at home, a fellow name of Quirke, who did our roof and was working next door but one, had threatened me, maintaining my Father had been bad-mouthing him and drawn me into it, by association.

[my mental tightrope is wobbling.]

All of that said, having Lee Quirke finishing off his work didn’t sit well with my rising stress levels. So, I’d enjoyed my weekend travels with Barry all the more.

On the Sunday we went to Beeston, saw the castle and priced parking, as the walk up to it looked worthwhile doing, [while I can still walk.]

Come the Monday I got to see the doctor who still insists that it might be good if we used my mental health to get me on it, “Even though I do admire the way you cope.”

Come Tuesday I went to the dole, as I’d forgotten exactly when I see my advisor next, as with that had gone on during the week, I’d lost her appointment letter. As it was, I’d recalled the right time. But, I’d had to check, as with all that’s going on, I could not face being sanctioned. Heck, as I had a travel ticket, I chose to go visit Karl and, that had been well cool.



And, truth be told, one could say I’ve had a better start to a week, that the previous one had ended…

Dr.Pepper, to take the taste away!
23:45 Apr 15 2014
Times Read: 548

Thursday at the church had gone as expected, which had been a pity: sometimes I just don’t want to be right. But, Roger’s still being his attempted Alpha-male self and, I’m just doing as I do at the door, then leaving. It transpires from an email from Marc, that he’ll be ‘off home’ for awhile, which will could lead to the project closing, if Roger does not get his act together. Friday morning had been a busy with achy joints that led me to not wanting to rise. But the day was to be had, so I had got up, dressed and gone shopping with Dad. A letter had arrived from the dole compliance office, which I knew meant real grief, as it has a couple of times already. I had phoned them, ‘to confirm the date’ and ended up speaking to the fellow concerned. Dad had taken the phone off me, then spoke to the fellow. It seems that the matter written of is one he had tried to deal with once before, when the tax office and the dole got together on at least two occasions. On both times my Father had to become involved and, it seems like he’s had to do so again. Come the afternoon the guy from next-door came round ‘on the bounce’, in defence of his wife, who he believed I had slighted. I’d got upset at that and been grateful for my Father’s intervention, as he clarified what I’d not been able to, that I’d been talking of the previous neighbour, Dot.

On Sunday Barry and I went to Talacre and The Smugglers Rest to watch Liverpool play Manchester City. The first half had gone well, but during the second half the tension got to us both and we left the pub. As I had followed Barry I had placed our glasses on the bar counter saying, “That’s disappointing.” That had garnered laughter from those within earshot. And then, less than ten minutes later Liverpool had pulled up and eventually won 3 – 2. I found myself thinking on the way home, ‘there you go, that’s whattcha get, for laughin at me, at Liverpool.’

Talking food, Monday morning after housework, I had got dressed and got to the village and go to the sensory testing shop in Bromborough Village, where I’d tested seven pieces of breaded [or battered] fish. Thankfully, I like battered fish and, though we were only served half a portion, I’d still only left two pieces and, I’d been able to suss out the Azda fish that we get when we go shopping.



Tuesday it had been chutney and, a change of image: the coat I wear as if affixed was being washed, so I had dug out my smart Harris Tweed and, tasted eight different chutney’s. Unfortunately ending on one that did not tickle my tastebuds whatsoever!

As I left I’d made mention of this and the lady who gave me the £5 said, “Well, that’s what you get with blind-tasting!” Aye, that and a can of Dr.Pepper, to take the taste away!

I’m no Alpha male...
23:00 Apr 09 2014
Times Read: 554




I still get most discontent when something makes little sense to me. And, it was more than a tad confusing for me on Thursday when had I arrived at the church, to see Lilly at the door, with cigarette and, Roger who disappeared as I arrived. No Lilly, like Roger and myself is from the old days on the project and he’s aware of how I admire her. As it was, before I’d gone into the church to start my evening there, we had chatted awhile. And, as I write something came to mind: at times he towards me like an Alpha male defending his territory, his little harem; whilst I’m the least Beta male I know of. In fact, I’d go on to say that while I’m no Alpha male, I’m one of the Best Beta anyone could ever meet! Anyway, Friday I was suitably shattered and eventually dead cheesed off, when an offer to help Help The Aged was buck passed to a junior, then ignored. Boy, did I feel slighted. Then there’d been Saturday, a day I’m sure Barry would like to forget, as it involved a car being replaced, a lot of money gone and a water leak in his kitchen and an intrusive landlord; all while I was there. Needless to say, Sunday had been a bit better. Come Monday, after the housework I’d noted that not only do we have Bluetits building a nest; it looks like we may have Robins nesting nearby…

...smile, a lot
16:13 Apr 03 2014
Times Read: 559

My cathartic writing and, a good day out in the Ashworth Valley with Barry, led me to beginning my week in a manic mode, which lasted several days and had proved useful. I had managed to get some writing done and work on the governments website and even got in a walk to Raby Mere, on a pleasant day. And, if that all sounds hurried; well it is how it’s felt. I keep feeling as though I’ll meet myself coming back, soon. Oh-boy, I do like my weekends out and about… I mean, I saw my face in a photo Barry took of me in Ashworth valley and boy do I look happy. My comment to him had been, “Put me in the green and… I smile, a lot.”